Down down down and out
I hate going back home. Home is where reality hits you and everything goes back to normal.
I have been upset since I woke up this morning, now its 9.05pm and just started crying.
This is me..
I havent had a haircut in over 6 months because havent had the money.
I buy clothes from Primark, Peacocks because they are cheap and close enough to the trend.
I get free modeling shoots because I cannot get paid or i have no money to pay them.
I have bought most things this week by credit card and have nothing to pay it back.
I get paid every 2 weeks, not by a job but by Job Seekers Allowance and its only £34.50.
I am so depressed.. I do hate my life.
I have lost a job because of my heart. I dont know what Ive got but my heart palpitates everyday, i get chest pains, i blank out when get stressed, i am becoming forgetful, and more. I have been to hospital and waiting for a heart monitor on 30th october. I just wait so long when its effecting everything that I do.
I cant go on rollercoaster rides, I cant go horse riding.. I cant enjoy the things i do.
I dont smoke (did but effected my asthma)
I dont drink because my stomach is sensitive to it. I cant socialise with friends because i feel left out not having an alcoholic drink.
I cant do phone work as will get stressed out and blank out.
The doc said I am a perfect daughter, which means i am very dull.
I dont have many qualifications.. what i do have means nothing now.
Not even McDonalds can take me back! Do you know what that makes me feel?!
I am underweight (7 stone)
I am small (5'1 and a half)
I dont have many friends.. if i did, they would invite me out with them when they go clubbing but they dont. I havent been accepted with anyone for most of my life.
Im very limited to what I do and I hate it! I really hate it.
I talk to my bf like it doesnt effect me, but my whole life is effected.
I want a new life, im not happy with it. I hate it.
I believe that if i dont get this job that I applied for, then i will be back on anti-depressants and will result in seeing a physcologist about it as well.
I wish i could change it all.
I have been upset since I woke up this morning, now its 9.05pm and just started crying.
This is me..
I havent had a haircut in over 6 months because havent had the money.
I buy clothes from Primark, Peacocks because they are cheap and close enough to the trend.
I get free modeling shoots because I cannot get paid or i have no money to pay them.
I have bought most things this week by credit card and have nothing to pay it back.
I get paid every 2 weeks, not by a job but by Job Seekers Allowance and its only £34.50.
I am so depressed.. I do hate my life.
I have lost a job because of my heart. I dont know what Ive got but my heart palpitates everyday, i get chest pains, i blank out when get stressed, i am becoming forgetful, and more. I have been to hospital and waiting for a heart monitor on 30th october. I just wait so long when its effecting everything that I do.
I cant go on rollercoaster rides, I cant go horse riding.. I cant enjoy the things i do.
I dont smoke (did but effected my asthma)
I dont drink because my stomach is sensitive to it. I cant socialise with friends because i feel left out not having an alcoholic drink.
I cant do phone work as will get stressed out and blank out.
The doc said I am a perfect daughter, which means i am very dull.
I dont have many qualifications.. what i do have means nothing now.
Not even McDonalds can take me back! Do you know what that makes me feel?!
I am underweight (7 stone)
I am small (5'1 and a half)
I dont have many friends.. if i did, they would invite me out with them when they go clubbing but they dont. I havent been accepted with anyone for most of my life.
Im very limited to what I do and I hate it! I really hate it.
I talk to my bf like it doesnt effect me, but my whole life is effected.
I want a new life, im not happy with it. I hate it.
I believe that if i dont get this job that I applied for, then i will be back on anti-depressants and will result in seeing a physcologist about it as well.
I wish i could change it all.