my head is weird about food, idek
I have a problem with spending money on food. It is really hard for me to do. I just see it as such a huge waste of money because, as I mentioned to revengent once when I was angsting over spending money mother gave me to buy myself dinner, food is transitory. I see no value in spending money on it, unlike with possessions I can hold onto for years.
When I was at school, I'd save the lunch money my parents gave me so I could buy myself clothes or something tangible that I could keep. Eating lunch didn’t make sense when it meant sacrificing a few dollars; if I deferred eating, I could hoard my coins til I had enough to purchase something meaningful, and I’d simply have bread or biscuits once I got home! Win/win!
Now I simply can’t get out of this mindset. It kinda has to do with how easy I’ve had it. When I started my rental hunt, I remember how mother worried about what I’d eat once I was on my own. (“Um, bread and avocado? The same thing I’ve been eating EVERY DAY for the last few months?”) But the week after I moved out, I was put into the Work Ed course by Matchworks- and as much as mother had fretted over me, it was perfect! I had a consistent supply of food that kept me fed:
~*~catered lunch that I packed to take home three days of the week
~*~fast food mother bought on Friday
~*~then Ma's cooking on Sundays, when I visited
That's practically the week accounted for! And I'd usually have leftovers for the remaining two days, otherwise, I'd have noodles. It was just such great timing, how it all worked out. :D
Now, sadly, things have changed. Mother’s gone on this healthy living kick, which affects me in that I no longer get weekly KFC, but…*dramatic pause* KFC Fortnight. Ye gods, the horror! :P Lolno, j/k...I mean, ofc I miss the weekly KFC, but I was lucky she kept it up as long as she did (out of a mixture of love and misplaced guilt, I imagine).
But I'm really missing my free lunches now that I'm at work placement. *sighs mournfully* I recall the days I used go to Karingal with a huge container and pack all this food to take home; it varied from day to day:
*sighs wistfully* I FEEL SO DEPRIVED RN.
It’s kinda funny to me that I’ve only just started eating bread again. I haven’t had to make do with ‘boring’ food like toast in such a long time- when I was living with my parents, it’s odd to think that was pretty much all I ate. I kid you not, from at least the beginning of the year til July, pretty much the entire week, that was my main meal; I don’t do breakfast or lunch, then in the evening, I’d have several slices of toast with avocado, pepper and salt liberally sprinkled over it, and then sneakily chow some chocolate on the sly later on. Who’d’ve thought moving out would actually coincide with one of the most varied diets of my life? Though that’s sadly over. *whimpers* Soup and toast are all I have now… I refuse to learn how to cook, shh, do not even
But yeah, I sometimes wish I wasn’t such a miser and that I could spend money on things without regretting it after and brooding forever. I'm pretty sure I have issues when I’m up til about 3am in the morning trading comments intermittently with weird_fin regarding deals at Pizza Hut! Not that it wasn’t a good convo (and ofc, it wasn’t entirely about pizza, there was talk of upcoming cons!), but my head is stuck in this place of DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON FOOD to the point where I decided against getting three small-ish pizzas for $13 yesterday as I'd planned because I saw they advertised this deal where you could get two large pizzas for $10! And my mind goes, ‘Hang on, so if you get three Mia pizzas, you only save $2, but if you buy one large pizza, you GET ONE FREE? That is totes the better deal! Don’t you dare waste money on this other rubbish deal!’ (It's only on Tuesdays, though)
So I resigned myself to cereal instead. And not being able to read these fanfics I was hooked on ‘coz I also have this inextricable link in my head between good fics and good food. I cannot read the former without having the latter because it is a WASTE. (Same applies to tv- I have eps of Castle, Alcatraz, Revenge and Fringe that I cannot watch rn because I don’t have any junk food to enjoy with it; nope, I gotta wait til KFC fortnight next Sat)
But Mother offered me a lift home and she stopped at Safeway for some groceries, then she wound up buying me roast chicken, bread and pasta. ^_^ I'm kinda feeling guilty, 'coz I have more money than she does and yet she's always paying for things I can afford to get myself BUT WON'T BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS STUPID but also relieved, because this means I have only spent 90c* this whole week and I still got to read my fanfic after all!
*on a bottle of soft drink. I drink way more coke than is healthy. I threw out four bottles this week- that's 5.5 liters of coke over about eight days. And exactly zero glasses of water. PLEASE TELL ME IF I'VE MISSED ANY OTHER WAYS TO SCREW UP MY HEALTH, I'D LIKE TO BE THOROUGH ABOUT THIS.
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Vidspam: Community credits done Buffy-style.
When I was at school, I'd save the lunch money my parents gave me so I could buy myself clothes or something tangible that I could keep. Eating lunch didn’t make sense when it meant sacrificing a few dollars; if I deferred eating, I could hoard my coins til I had enough to purchase something meaningful, and I’d simply have bread or biscuits once I got home! Win/win!
Now I simply can’t get out of this mindset. It kinda has to do with how easy I’ve had it. When I started my rental hunt, I remember how mother worried about what I’d eat once I was on my own. (“Um, bread and avocado? The same thing I’ve been eating EVERY DAY for the last few months?”) But the week after I moved out, I was put into the Work Ed course by Matchworks- and as much as mother had fretted over me, it was perfect! I had a consistent supply of food that kept me fed:
~*~catered lunch that I packed to take home three days of the week
~*~fast food mother bought on Friday
~*~then Ma's cooking on Sundays, when I visited
That's practically the week accounted for! And I'd usually have leftovers for the remaining two days, otherwise, I'd have noodles. It was just such great timing, how it all worked out. :D
Now, sadly, things have changed. Mother’s gone on this healthy living kick, which affects me in that I no longer get weekly KFC, but…*dramatic pause* KFC Fortnight. Ye gods, the horror! :P Lolno, j/k...I mean, ofc I miss the weekly KFC, but I was lucky she kept it up as long as she did (out of a mixture of love and misplaced guilt, I imagine).
But I'm really missing my free lunches now that I'm at work placement. *sighs mournfully* I recall the days I used go to Karingal with a huge container and pack all this food to take home; it varied from day to day:
*sighs wistfully* I FEEL SO DEPRIVED RN.
It’s kinda funny to me that I’ve only just started eating bread again. I haven’t had to make do with ‘boring’ food like toast in such a long time- when I was living with my parents, it’s odd to think that was pretty much all I ate. I kid you not, from at least the beginning of the year til July, pretty much the entire week, that was my main meal; I don’t do breakfast or lunch, then in the evening, I’d have several slices of toast with avocado, pepper and salt liberally sprinkled over it, and then sneakily chow some chocolate on the sly later on. Who’d’ve thought moving out would actually coincide with one of the most varied diets of my life? Though that’s sadly over. *whimpers* Soup and toast are all I have now… I refuse to learn how to cook, shh, do not even
But yeah, I sometimes wish I wasn’t such a miser and that I could spend money on things without regretting it after and brooding forever. I'm pretty sure I have issues when I’m up til about 3am in the morning trading comments intermittently with weird_fin regarding deals at Pizza Hut! Not that it wasn’t a good convo (and ofc, it wasn’t entirely about pizza, there was talk of upcoming cons!), but my head is stuck in this place of DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON FOOD to the point where I decided against getting three small-ish pizzas for $13 yesterday as I'd planned because I saw they advertised this deal where you could get two large pizzas for $10! And my mind goes, ‘Hang on, so if you get three Mia pizzas, you only save $2, but if you buy one large pizza, you GET ONE FREE? That is totes the better deal! Don’t you dare waste money on this other rubbish deal!’ (It's only on Tuesdays, though)
So I resigned myself to cereal instead. And not being able to read these fanfics I was hooked on ‘coz I also have this inextricable link in my head between good fics and good food. I cannot read the former without having the latter because it is a WASTE. (Same applies to tv- I have eps of Castle, Alcatraz, Revenge and Fringe that I cannot watch rn because I don’t have any junk food to enjoy with it; nope, I gotta wait til KFC fortnight next Sat)
But Mother offered me a lift home and she stopped at Safeway for some groceries, then she wound up buying me roast chicken, bread and pasta. ^_^ I'm kinda feeling guilty, 'coz I have more money than she does and yet she's always paying for things I can afford to get myself BUT WON'T BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS STUPID but also relieved, because this means I have only spent 90c* this whole week and I still got to read my fanfic after all!
*on a bottle of soft drink. I drink way more coke than is healthy. I threw out four bottles this week- that's 5.5 liters of coke over about eight days. And exactly zero glasses of water. PLEASE TELL ME IF I'VE MISSED ANY OTHER WAYS TO SCREW UP MY HEALTH, I'D LIKE TO BE THOROUGH ABOUT THIS.
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Vidspam: Community credits done Buffy-style.
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