Bullet to the brainpan, Squish
I find the thought of moving back to Northern California exceedingly depressing.
The idea of moving anywhere in California annoys me. I left partly because I couldn't stand the politics and every day I hear something new coming out of the California political fuck-up fest the more convinced I am that moving away was the right decision to make.
It would be the right move for my career to try and get a job at one of the many big companies in the Bay Area that appear to now be hiring again. It would be the right move for my health. I'm sure I'll even find it easier to shed the extra pounds I've put on here because I have no doubt I'll eat healthier in the state that actually produces the food I eat instead of here where they ship their tasteless crap.
But even thinking about considering moving back to the Bay Area feels like a giant step backwards in my life. I moved away from my family. I gained independence and separation(relatively). I bought my own house that I've been working on with my own hands. I have friends I made while my own human being. I love my friends I made growing up, but it's not the same. I'd have to give up fighting because I hate SCA West, as much fun as it is Amtgard isn't really fighting, and ECS has pissed me off so much I don't want to give them any more of me. I'd be back in the shadow of my family. I don't want to live my life constantly looking over my shoulder all the time again.
Beyond all that, the four months I spent in Woodland Hills reminded me that in California things generally close at 6PM and you can't drink anywhere after 2AM. Suffice it to say, I spent a lot of time watching TV and surfing the 'net. It's very frustrating to find I can't go to the grocery store at 11PM when I realize I'm out of milk because all the stores are closed. It's very frustrating to know I can't just take an hour long walk at midnight because it isn't safe.
I realize that most places in the world aren't 24/7 like Vegas and that I'll eventually adapt. But when I think about it, all I can see is me sitting on my couch at 8PM staring blankly at the TV picturing destroying everything I own out of sheer dejection.
As much as I feel the need to leave Vegas for career and health reasons, California is just not the answer. In July, I'll be up Portland way, so I'll check out things up there. Next I need to find my way to Dallas to see what it's like out there.
The idea of moving anywhere in California annoys me. I left partly because I couldn't stand the politics and every day I hear something new coming out of the California political fuck-up fest the more convinced I am that moving away was the right decision to make.
It would be the right move for my career to try and get a job at one of the many big companies in the Bay Area that appear to now be hiring again. It would be the right move for my health. I'm sure I'll even find it easier to shed the extra pounds I've put on here because I have no doubt I'll eat healthier in the state that actually produces the food I eat instead of here where they ship their tasteless crap.
But even thinking about considering moving back to the Bay Area feels like a giant step backwards in my life. I moved away from my family. I gained independence and separation(relatively). I bought my own house that I've been working on with my own hands. I have friends I made while my own human being. I love my friends I made growing up, but it's not the same. I'd have to give up fighting because I hate SCA West, as much fun as it is Amtgard isn't really fighting, and ECS has pissed me off so much I don't want to give them any more of me. I'd be back in the shadow of my family. I don't want to live my life constantly looking over my shoulder all the time again.
Beyond all that, the four months I spent in Woodland Hills reminded me that in California things generally close at 6PM and you can't drink anywhere after 2AM. Suffice it to say, I spent a lot of time watching TV and surfing the 'net. It's very frustrating to find I can't go to the grocery store at 11PM when I realize I'm out of milk because all the stores are closed. It's very frustrating to know I can't just take an hour long walk at midnight because it isn't safe.
I realize that most places in the world aren't 24/7 like Vegas and that I'll eventually adapt. But when I think about it, all I can see is me sitting on my couch at 8PM staring blankly at the TV picturing destroying everything I own out of sheer dejection.
As much as I feel the need to leave Vegas for career and health reasons, California is just not the answer. In July, I'll be up Portland way, so I'll check out things up there. Next I need to find my way to Dallas to see what it's like out there.