SEVEN: I HAVE A BIG BOAT.
PRIVATE
My parents want me to go to on an island cruise with them during Spring Break. Don't they realize that a) ROCK STARS DON'T HAVE SPRING BREAKS and b) even if I were a rock star, and even if I did have a spring break, that I would be spending said Spring Break in Cancun where I can experience all of those poor girls making poor drunken decisions and watching them all participate in whipped cream bikini contests? I think I need to find a new fake identity soon, though. I'm running out of obscure, underground bands to pilfer music from for my MySpace.
I want Chelsea to stop cooking. Less cooking, more sex. Everyone wins, am I right?
/PRIVATE
Sunday was fun, right? Right. I'm generally averse to partying on a Sunday night, it being the Lord's Day and all of that, but who am I to turn down strip poker? Really. I can't let these washboard abs go to waste!
I have someone's boxers, though. I know they aren't mine because I only wear black or red silk boxers.