Promised myself I would post...
Ugh, sorry about the other day. u////u
It's wierd to let something (and someone) get at me like that, but I guess it's been a hard process. It took me some good 10 years to tell someone else, (Jens) who, thank all the gods above, said "...Well, I kinda knew I was bi anyway. Besides, I'm genderfluid, sooo... You are one hot guy, did you know?"
I was 24 when I told him. I'd known him for 6 years. Longets, wierdest years in my life, btw. But, I wasn't about to babble about this matter. Nope. I was going to tell something that happened just a few days ago.
It's actually something that happened to Leon.
We live in an area with a lot of foreigners - newly arrived ones, too. There aren't many children who speak the language, but Leon manages anyway. He has a few friends and he is happy. Last Thursday, however...
He was mobbed - physically mobbed. As in being crowded and jumped by 5-6 kids in school. Leon had found a nice stick (sticks are important - they save my tomatoes and make great swords) he was to take home. There was this one kid who's been quite hostile - he wanted the stick. Leon told him to go get his own. And then... and then the kid went to get his friends.
It was about 6 kids, the teacher told us. But Leon stood his ground, and they were pushing him hard. He told them to lay off, and go away. He removed himself from the situation, but they followed. They were forcing him against a wall - or trying too. My son is a gentle soul - an old, wise soul. Calm, but passionate and yet, always so very gentle. They pushed him hard enough for his self-control to shatter.
Next thing that happens, the leader of this gang tried to hit him and Leon, bless his soul, reacted with aggression. He has trained 5-6 years, and he simply grabbed the kid and slammed him up against the wall. All the other kids... weren't expecting that. And he snarled to them and warned that this one time, and never again. Next thing he walked off to the teachers' quarters and spoke to his teacher, and the principal.
Before they called us, they arranged a meeting with all these kids' parents. The school has no tolerance and a zero-mobbing agenda/plan. They hit down hard on these cases. So, meeting happened immediately. The teacher took Leon out of the class and asked him about what happened. My kid was crying because he lost control and slammed a kid up against the wall.
You have to understand that I'm military. You don't lose control, ever. Leon is a tall child, strong and fit. Big. He is 167cm now at the age of 12. He's trained nin-jutsu for 5-6 years. You never lose control, because you become a threat if you do. I fully agree.
So my kid was crying because he was forced into losing control. The teacher (and principal) spoke to him, soothed him, and called us. Once we were informed, I left work and took the Friday as a free day because shit. SHIT. 6 kids jumped my son. In an area in Gothenburg that is heavily affected by gang-activity.
When I came home, I was met by a kid who told me he was sorry. Who kept asking me why I wasn't angry. Who kept repeating himself: "Why aren't I being told I did wrong? I hurt him. I pushed him up against the wall. Mum, I reacted in a bad way. Mum, I don't want to hurl the social service or the police at small, dumb kids."
That.
That.
That is what a good upbringing does to a kid. So, I told him that he'd been compromised, but that it wasn't his fault. That I was glad that he understood that he had been physical in a way that we don't agree with, but that the circumstances were bad, and that he IS allowed to defend himself.
I still spent a whole evening, and a Friday, soothing him. Calming him. Reassuring him that he wasn't a bad person.
School has told me that they will hit down hard on this matter. Leon is a star-pupil, but he is also the sweetest kid there is. He surprised everyone, I think, by standing up to himself. With gang-activity it takes a brave soul to defend himself, I think. The future will be all about two weeks of intense meetings - and if nothing changes (with the kids) - school says that the children will be warned. The school-board will be informed. More meetings. If these aren't satisfactional, the social services will be involved. If it goes that far, the children will be expelled and/or forced to go to another school. If they attack Leon again - and we live in the same area - then the school will turn it into a police matter.
...they are 11-12 years old.
This is why Leon was upset. He doesn't want them to end up there, but as Marcus - his teacher - told him; they were willing to gang up on you and try to hit you. They knew you were alone. They knew the teachers weren't watching. They were OK with scaring you, trying to punch you. These children need to be supervised, or they will walk down the wrong kind of road.
Still. As a mother, it horrifies me. As a soldier I'm seething - what kind of CRAPPY discipline is this? As a person, I'm bleedin' angry. This... this isn't the system failing. This is absent parents and a regime at home that sucks. These kids are so controlled that they explode once mum and dad aren't around. And they bring violance into the school. I too, want them to be supervised.
But my son is an old, gentle soul with the heart of a warrior. Before that, he is 12 years old, and a good person. He doesn't want to be the reason they will be punished. So, I hugged him tightly and spent 1.5 days watching Supernatural, Doctor Who, several Disney and Pixar-movies and reading Terry Pratchet for him.
I... damn.
Well. I sort of needed to get that out of my system as well.
*shrugs*
...uhm. Thanks for reading? u////u
It's wierd to let something (and someone) get at me like that, but I guess it's been a hard process. It took me some good 10 years to tell someone else, (Jens) who, thank all the gods above, said "...Well, I kinda knew I was bi anyway. Besides, I'm genderfluid, sooo... You are one hot guy, did you know?"
I was 24 when I told him. I'd known him for 6 years. Longets, wierdest years in my life, btw. But, I wasn't about to babble about this matter. Nope. I was going to tell something that happened just a few days ago.
It's actually something that happened to Leon.
We live in an area with a lot of foreigners - newly arrived ones, too. There aren't many children who speak the language, but Leon manages anyway. He has a few friends and he is happy. Last Thursday, however...
He was mobbed - physically mobbed. As in being crowded and jumped by 5-6 kids in school. Leon had found a nice stick (sticks are important - they save my tomatoes and make great swords) he was to take home. There was this one kid who's been quite hostile - he wanted the stick. Leon told him to go get his own. And then... and then the kid went to get his friends.
It was about 6 kids, the teacher told us. But Leon stood his ground, and they were pushing him hard. He told them to lay off, and go away. He removed himself from the situation, but they followed. They were forcing him against a wall - or trying too. My son is a gentle soul - an old, wise soul. Calm, but passionate and yet, always so very gentle. They pushed him hard enough for his self-control to shatter.
Next thing that happens, the leader of this gang tried to hit him and Leon, bless his soul, reacted with aggression. He has trained 5-6 years, and he simply grabbed the kid and slammed him up against the wall. All the other kids... weren't expecting that. And he snarled to them and warned that this one time, and never again. Next thing he walked off to the teachers' quarters and spoke to his teacher, and the principal.
Before they called us, they arranged a meeting with all these kids' parents. The school has no tolerance and a zero-mobbing agenda/plan. They hit down hard on these cases. So, meeting happened immediately. The teacher took Leon out of the class and asked him about what happened. My kid was crying because he lost control and slammed a kid up against the wall.
You have to understand that I'm military. You don't lose control, ever. Leon is a tall child, strong and fit. Big. He is 167cm now at the age of 12. He's trained nin-jutsu for 5-6 years. You never lose control, because you become a threat if you do. I fully agree.
So my kid was crying because he was forced into losing control. The teacher (and principal) spoke to him, soothed him, and called us. Once we were informed, I left work and took the Friday as a free day because shit. SHIT. 6 kids jumped my son. In an area in Gothenburg that is heavily affected by gang-activity.
When I came home, I was met by a kid who told me he was sorry. Who kept asking me why I wasn't angry. Who kept repeating himself: "Why aren't I being told I did wrong? I hurt him. I pushed him up against the wall. Mum, I reacted in a bad way. Mum, I don't want to hurl the social service or the police at small, dumb kids."
That.
That.
That is what a good upbringing does to a kid. So, I told him that he'd been compromised, but that it wasn't his fault. That I was glad that he understood that he had been physical in a way that we don't agree with, but that the circumstances were bad, and that he IS allowed to defend himself.
I still spent a whole evening, and a Friday, soothing him. Calming him. Reassuring him that he wasn't a bad person.
School has told me that they will hit down hard on this matter. Leon is a star-pupil, but he is also the sweetest kid there is. He surprised everyone, I think, by standing up to himself. With gang-activity it takes a brave soul to defend himself, I think. The future will be all about two weeks of intense meetings - and if nothing changes (with the kids) - school says that the children will be warned. The school-board will be informed. More meetings. If these aren't satisfactional, the social services will be involved. If it goes that far, the children will be expelled and/or forced to go to another school. If they attack Leon again - and we live in the same area - then the school will turn it into a police matter.
...they are 11-12 years old.
This is why Leon was upset. He doesn't want them to end up there, but as Marcus - his teacher - told him; they were willing to gang up on you and try to hit you. They knew you were alone. They knew the teachers weren't watching. They were OK with scaring you, trying to punch you. These children need to be supervised, or they will walk down the wrong kind of road.
Still. As a mother, it horrifies me. As a soldier I'm seething - what kind of CRAPPY discipline is this? As a person, I'm bleedin' angry. This... this isn't the system failing. This is absent parents and a regime at home that sucks. These kids are so controlled that they explode once mum and dad aren't around. And they bring violance into the school. I too, want them to be supervised.
But my son is an old, gentle soul with the heart of a warrior. Before that, he is 12 years old, and a good person. He doesn't want to be the reason they will be punished. So, I hugged him tightly and spent 1.5 days watching Supernatural, Doctor Who, several Disney and Pixar-movies and reading Terry Pratchet for him.
I... damn.
Well. I sort of needed to get that out of my system as well.
*shrugs*
...uhm. Thanks for reading? u////u