Still Failing

[borderline_mary]

So I almost started writing something last night, but was curtailed by bedtime and then by hating it in the morning.  I feel like there's some kind of condition missing for me to actually get writing done.  Is it the utter lack of direct, detailed feedback, as I've been suspecting, because I evidently stall out unless someone tells me how I'm doing?  Is it that I need a change of venue, which won't even happen until January?  Is it that I've been sternly told to not jot down anything on my notepad at work because my supervisor has no concept of keeping one's mind clear so one can have some hope of maintaining proper focus on one's litany of repetitive, monotonous tasks?  Is it that I've spent all my free time obsessively re-watching 'Ever After' and writing HTML code instead of doing anything that actually stimulates me intellectually and creatively, because I'm too tired to do much else?  But there's Marvel, which does hit my creative buttons, and I haven't even written for that in a while (last night's abortive snippet was Marvel-related, though, so I guess that's not entirely accurate).  I did get a sestina written last week, although I'm not sure how I like it; attempts to begin more poetry have so far been unsuccessful.

At least I'm being productive in regards to game, even if my therapist says I'm clearly doing too many things and should stop volunteering for yet more things whenever I feel like no one appreciates my efforts.  (Seriously, you guys, this is what my master post for the game looks like.  I have a problem.)

IDK.  I think I just go through periods where I hate everything I write and think my descriptions are too maudlin or too stock and rage!quit out of frustration until something inspires me again.  Waiting for that to happen.

I really miss Adara.