FALL in love
There is a time of year, that even when the first leaf falls, you can feel the seasons click. The air is crisp, summer is gone, and for the first night in a long time you need a blanket on your bed. It rings up other needs as well
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I know I've told you before, but I'll say it again. I really think that what you're doing is a good idea (taking time before college)... society places us in this undesirable and seemingly inescapable rat race, this time trap. Where every minute of your life has to be productive or you won't succeed, and the more wealth you amass the better your life is. It comes back to that article I showed you (no not the high school one I'm sure you haven't read yet), where it talks about 'sidestepping the beauty, wonder, and grace that comes from authentic experience.' And how as a culture we choose things over time, material gain over immaterial rewards, and schedules over spontaneity (love those late night chinese food runs). I respect that fact that you can decide for yourself whether or not you're ready, and ignore the external pressures and expectations and all the other bullcrap that try to impose themselves onto you.
As for the good company... you're always good company in my books (I'm sure you don't need me telling this to you). And I guess that's what we all need more of, quality time with people you care about. Something I've been lacking recently... the connection felt between one another, and with the immense beauty surrounding us (fall is the prettiest season... I need to start bringing my camera on my walks/bike rides).
And I vehemently disagree with the 'only knowing how to hurt/get hurt', I think instead focusing on the positive side is a better idea, because I know first hand you know how to LOVE, to care, to give, to cherish. And sure everyone gets hurt, but I think it's a small price to pay for experiencing the wonders of love... of which sparks are but a tiny bit of the equation (but important I'll agree with... and oh so addicting).
Take care of yourself, and slow down to let the beauty and wonder of the world permeate your life...
and I'm sure we'll keep each other in good company for a time I can't fathom would end.
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