in overload
I've been itching to write for a very long time.... Time... something I felt I was starting to get a little more of, then BOOM, that went to shit. I should stoping saying "I can't handle it...", and take the blow and suck it up. We westerners, always thinking that with a little pain, we gain...what do we know. I wanted to drop my International Business class, but unfortunately, I don't have enough credits do that. I wanted to quit my job, but unfortunately I won't have any money if I do that either. I want the panic attacks, the anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, and the pounding headaches to all go away; but I fear that now they're only going to get worst. Stress is literally killing me.
I've also felt that I haven't been pushing myself hard enough. I can't seem to study as long as most people do, I can't seem to get work in on time, and I can't seem to wake up to get to school in the mornings. What am I good for? I told myself that this year was going to be different, that I was going to make an attempt, but I feel like I'm just falling into that same vicious cycle of claiming I need time to myself then feeling guilty about it. So, how do I deal?! I need help, guidance, something, anything... I'm becoming overwhelmed already and I haven't even gone back to Internation Business yet! The one thing that would kill me the most is if I start to come off looking like the bitch...the person who cracks under pressure, who can't seem to handle a full schedual and a part time job( to late for that!). I want to remain 'strong'. I don't want to be stupid. Clearly I put to much pressure on myself...
I thought that 'time managment' was the answer, but you can't manage time... it just continiusly tick-tocks by without you being able to stop it. Better yet 'manage' it. I feel like a chicken with it's head cut off... somebody save me...
I need you... Make me laugh! Distract me! Take my mind off these things!
I wish I was like you...I wish I could control my urge to talk to you...I wish I was as focused as you...
I, I, I...you, you, you...
Border_Lined is all I have...
I've also felt that I haven't been pushing myself hard enough. I can't seem to study as long as most people do, I can't seem to get work in on time, and I can't seem to wake up to get to school in the mornings. What am I good for? I told myself that this year was going to be different, that I was going to make an attempt, but I feel like I'm just falling into that same vicious cycle of claiming I need time to myself then feeling guilty about it. So, how do I deal?! I need help, guidance, something, anything... I'm becoming overwhelmed already and I haven't even gone back to Internation Business yet! The one thing that would kill me the most is if I start to come off looking like the bitch...the person who cracks under pressure, who can't seem to handle a full schedual and a part time job( to late for that!). I want to remain 'strong'. I don't want to be stupid. Clearly I put to much pressure on myself...
I thought that 'time managment' was the answer, but you can't manage time... it just continiusly tick-tocks by without you being able to stop it. Better yet 'manage' it. I feel like a chicken with it's head cut off... somebody save me...
I need you... Make me laugh! Distract me! Take my mind off these things!
I wish I was like you...I wish I could control my urge to talk to you...I wish I was as focused as you...
I, I, I...you, you, you...
Border_Lined is all I have...