Three in a row
I just felt like rambling again tonight. So this makes three enteries in a row. WOW! I know. You are about as impressed as I am. Of course I am not really impressed. I can't remember when I wrote this much in here. It has been some time. I figure if I keep writing or at least try to write on a daily basis I can keep my mind stimulated. I know now that I say this, it will be a week or so before I post something again. Hopefully not. I am stuck on writing the business plan right now. So maybe if I keep writing I will get creative thoughts in motion again.
I do apologize about my rant from last night about NS and getting fired. Trust me you would be upset too when you loose a $65K plus a year job. I get upset this time of year because I remember back to that day and I remember it so vividly. It is the past I know. I know I need to let go and forget. But this is difficult to do at times.
I do have problems letting go and forgetting at times. I know it has been a hinderence to me. I know it has caused problems. What good does it do for me to hold on to the past? None really. I think I have a tendency to hold on to my past because of what I do with reenacting. That is always remembering the past and looking back. However at times instead of looking back 145 years or 65 years I look back on a few years into my past. Like I said the other night I am slowly learning to let go. I know my freinds and family have begged me to do so. So I am. It just takes time. I have spent pretty much my entire life to holding on to the past and not moving forward. Now is the time to let go, and reflect once in a while on my past, and not to hold on. I am like a dog trying to learn a new trick. It just takes time.
As for the rail car the plans of getting moved before the end of the month have qucikly faded. Oh well. The plan is still to get it moved here in short amount of time. Knock on wood and hold lucky rabbits foot! I think we get the car moved over to Norwood I may store the car on power this winter to hopefully prevent any more water problems. I hope. Knock on wood again, and hold lucky rabbits foot again. Which it seems like all the problems that was addressed last year are fixed. It is just now getting the hot water heater plumbing fixed.
As I type of all this though I have been thinking about some one. This not some one from my past, but from the present. I do miss talking to her, but I can't muster the courage to talk to her. I am afraid too talk to her. I guess it is the fact I don't know what she really thinks of me. The whole situation is complicated as hell, and I won't go into it. I just wish I wasn't so damn shy at times. I just wish I would of spoke up sooner about how I felt about her. However I didn't. Now I don't know what will happen. I guess in a way I am hoping she will talk to me again. One day we were talking and the next few days nothing. Like now I want to strike up a conversation on line, but I am afraid too. I feel like I have become more of an annoyance. I know I should just do it, but I have a difficult time getting over shyness. Is shyness a real word?
Any ways I have rambled on long enough once again. I do apologize for any spellling errors.
I do apologize about my rant from last night about NS and getting fired. Trust me you would be upset too when you loose a $65K plus a year job. I get upset this time of year because I remember back to that day and I remember it so vividly. It is the past I know. I know I need to let go and forget. But this is difficult to do at times.
I do have problems letting go and forgetting at times. I know it has been a hinderence to me. I know it has caused problems. What good does it do for me to hold on to the past? None really. I think I have a tendency to hold on to my past because of what I do with reenacting. That is always remembering the past and looking back. However at times instead of looking back 145 years or 65 years I look back on a few years into my past. Like I said the other night I am slowly learning to let go. I know my freinds and family have begged me to do so. So I am. It just takes time. I have spent pretty much my entire life to holding on to the past and not moving forward. Now is the time to let go, and reflect once in a while on my past, and not to hold on. I am like a dog trying to learn a new trick. It just takes time.
As for the rail car the plans of getting moved before the end of the month have qucikly faded. Oh well. The plan is still to get it moved here in short amount of time. Knock on wood and hold lucky rabbits foot! I think we get the car moved over to Norwood I may store the car on power this winter to hopefully prevent any more water problems. I hope. Knock on wood again, and hold lucky rabbits foot again. Which it seems like all the problems that was addressed last year are fixed. It is just now getting the hot water heater plumbing fixed.
As I type of all this though I have been thinking about some one. This not some one from my past, but from the present. I do miss talking to her, but I can't muster the courage to talk to her. I am afraid too talk to her. I guess it is the fact I don't know what she really thinks of me. The whole situation is complicated as hell, and I won't go into it. I just wish I wasn't so damn shy at times. I just wish I would of spoke up sooner about how I felt about her. However I didn't. Now I don't know what will happen. I guess in a way I am hoping she will talk to me again. One day we were talking and the next few days nothing. Like now I want to strike up a conversation on line, but I am afraid too. I feel like I have become more of an annoyance. I know I should just do it, but I have a difficult time getting over shyness. Is shyness a real word?
Any ways I have rambled on long enough once again. I do apologize for any spellling errors.