Christmas Zen
It’s funny to read my previous post in November because recently I actually feel the complete opposite as I did just last month. It’s as if now that I’ve reached the third trimester of this seemingly never ending pregnancy, I’ve reached some weird Zen about everything. My life, my choices, the here and now, this person growing inside me-everything. Not to completely ignore my list of body aches and pains that seems to grow longer every day. It’s definitely weird to have to deal with an ever expanding body that is dealing with it as best as it can, but it’s all just so uncomfortable and painful! Despite all this, I find myself feeling completely at peace with it all.
Every doctor appointment shows that myself and baby girl are healthy and developing as we should so I’m getting more comfortable and less anxious about uncontrollable outcomes. It is what it is. Our house of horrors also seems to have reached some point of inner peace after the last bathroom pipe catastrophe. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ve seen the worst of it, although by typing this I’m probably totally jinxing it all, but too late-whatever. All my annoyances about Christmas and family issues were finally resolved after much too much discussion throughout all of November! Some of these discussions made me angry and quite sad at times but I’m proud of how I actually stood up for myself for once. I’ve found that being the baby of the family makes being treated like an adult an issue and me personally, a big wuss about rocking the boat. Now that I’m gearing up to be a mother myself and am currently uber sober with the ability to see situations at face value, I’m finding it much easier to locate my backbone when family issues arise. On top of that I think I finally muddled through enough hours of paperwork and phone calls to have unemployment working in my favor. Sometimes patience and diligence does pay off!! Who knew?
So my point to all this is that it’s hard to avoid feeling completely content, while sitting here with my feet up, drinking mint tea in front of our already brittle Christmas tree after baking three batches of cookies and watching my darling husband and adorable dog snore together on the couch. Plus, we will soon be seeing my in-laws (& nephews!) in Napa for Christmas and eating ridiculous amounts of incredible food for days. Which is always a blast, but even more exciting than that is once the holidays end it will be the 2 month mark to our supposed due date!! Which is really all I’m focused on these days, get through 2009 so that we can get on with this whole labor business. Bring it on, bitches!!
Every doctor appointment shows that myself and baby girl are healthy and developing as we should so I’m getting more comfortable and less anxious about uncontrollable outcomes. It is what it is. Our house of horrors also seems to have reached some point of inner peace after the last bathroom pipe catastrophe. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ve seen the worst of it, although by typing this I’m probably totally jinxing it all, but too late-whatever. All my annoyances about Christmas and family issues were finally resolved after much too much discussion throughout all of November! Some of these discussions made me angry and quite sad at times but I’m proud of how I actually stood up for myself for once. I’ve found that being the baby of the family makes being treated like an adult an issue and me personally, a big wuss about rocking the boat. Now that I’m gearing up to be a mother myself and am currently uber sober with the ability to see situations at face value, I’m finding it much easier to locate my backbone when family issues arise. On top of that I think I finally muddled through enough hours of paperwork and phone calls to have unemployment working in my favor. Sometimes patience and diligence does pay off!! Who knew?
So my point to all this is that it’s hard to avoid feeling completely content, while sitting here with my feet up, drinking mint tea in front of our already brittle Christmas tree after baking three batches of cookies and watching my darling husband and adorable dog snore together on the couch. Plus, we will soon be seeing my in-laws (& nephews!) in Napa for Christmas and eating ridiculous amounts of incredible food for days. Which is always a blast, but even more exciting than that is once the holidays end it will be the 2 month mark to our supposed due date!! Which is really all I’m focused on these days, get through 2009 so that we can get on with this whole labor business. Bring it on, bitches!!