New subspecies of Cougar discovered in Guelph
I went out yesterday in the late afternoon to buy thread. Yeah, I know - all the spools of thread I have around here, and still I needed to get a different colour. It's true, though: I didn't have any golden yellow thread, and that's what I'm working with right now.
So, anyway. I went to the mall. Ick. I hate going to the mall. Got my thread (on sale, 75% off, yay!!), treated myself to a soft-serve ice cream and waited for the bus. And I watched the people around me.
Oh, my. It was Cougar City. They were everywhere! eniastoa says that maybe they were just wearing their workday warpaint, but I know better. They were on the hunt for young nubile men. Um, OK, anything that had dangly bits and was breathing. I cringed at the stiletto heels, denim miniskirts, and looks of sheer desperation.
Problem is, some of 'em got on the bus with me and headed downtown. Apparently there was some kind of Cougar Convention going on. There were Cougars in cowboy boots, faux leather, denim, faux animal prints, satin, fishnets, rhinestone-studded cutoffs,... you get the idea.
But then, I saw her. A new evolution in Cougar. The Skate-Punk Cougar. I kid you not. Picture someone on the far (far) side of 40, teased out hair, more make-up than Tammy Faye, varicose veins, a baseball cap on sideways, red satin short shorts, Converse high-tops, sports halter top, and a hoodie. Not just any hoodie, mind you - this one had rhinestones on it, no side seams, and no sleeves. And, yes, she was drooling over the skateboarders hanging out downtown.
Now, I have heard that we have some Working Girls downtown, and some of 'em are pretty ugly... but I don't think this was one of them.
I was utterly creeped out. Usually the Cougars don't come out until after dark. Obviously their natural food supply is limited (no fresh and tasty frosh until September), so they've had to expand their territory and hunt in broad daylight.
So, anyway. I went to the mall. Ick. I hate going to the mall. Got my thread (on sale, 75% off, yay!!), treated myself to a soft-serve ice cream and waited for the bus. And I watched the people around me.
Oh, my. It was Cougar City. They were everywhere! eniastoa says that maybe they were just wearing their workday warpaint, but I know better. They were on the hunt for young nubile men. Um, OK, anything that had dangly bits and was breathing. I cringed at the stiletto heels, denim miniskirts, and looks of sheer desperation.
Problem is, some of 'em got on the bus with me and headed downtown. Apparently there was some kind of Cougar Convention going on. There were Cougars in cowboy boots, faux leather, denim, faux animal prints, satin, fishnets, rhinestone-studded cutoffs,... you get the idea.
But then, I saw her. A new evolution in Cougar. The Skate-Punk Cougar. I kid you not. Picture someone on the far (far) side of 40, teased out hair, more make-up than Tammy Faye, varicose veins, a baseball cap on sideways, red satin short shorts, Converse high-tops, sports halter top, and a hoodie. Not just any hoodie, mind you - this one had rhinestones on it, no side seams, and no sleeves. And, yes, she was drooling over the skateboarders hanging out downtown.
Now, I have heard that we have some Working Girls downtown, and some of 'em are pretty ugly... but I don't think this was one of them.
I was utterly creeped out. Usually the Cougars don't come out until after dark. Obviously their natural food supply is limited (no fresh and tasty frosh until September), so they've had to expand their territory and hunt in broad daylight.