I'm stockpiling weapons??
Well, there are results from last week's ultrasound... good, bad, and indifferent.
Good: no unexplained piles of cells hangin out where they shouldn't be, no black hole, no parasitic alien lifeforms, no unusual bio-engineered organic supermagnet
Bad: gallstones, enlarged spleen
Indifferent: an unusual-looking kidney
Of course, I have to wait until Tuesday morning, when I see the gastroenterologist, to have the results discussed fully. And I *do* mean fully. If he tells me again that I should eat liver, I will make a big dent in his big desk the size of my big foot.
It's nice to know that the randomly-occurring backache and excessive gas I've been blaming the barium for in fact was a mild gallstone attack. Probably all the intestinal abuse those medical-types have inflicted on me over the past year or so has pissed off my gallbladder enough for it to start amassing weapons. Knowing me, they're probably small, highly condensed, full of iron, and radioactive. Naturally they would be gas-powered. (Hmmm, gives silent but deadly a whole new meaning, eh?)
My guess is that they will want to remove said weapons cache (aka gallbladder) at some point, but probably not before they get the anemia under control.
Naturally, there is no news on the anemia front. Yes, the spleen is enlarged, but how and why remain a mystery. A brand-new deerstalker hat for the first medical-type that figures it out, and if he cures the problem, he doesn't have to wear it in public.
Good: no unexplained piles of cells hangin out where they shouldn't be, no black hole, no parasitic alien lifeforms, no unusual bio-engineered organic supermagnet
Bad: gallstones, enlarged spleen
Indifferent: an unusual-looking kidney
Of course, I have to wait until Tuesday morning, when I see the gastroenterologist, to have the results discussed fully. And I *do* mean fully. If he tells me again that I should eat liver, I will make a big dent in his big desk the size of my big foot.
It's nice to know that the randomly-occurring backache and excessive gas I've been blaming the barium for in fact was a mild gallstone attack. Probably all the intestinal abuse those medical-types have inflicted on me over the past year or so has pissed off my gallbladder enough for it to start amassing weapons. Knowing me, they're probably small, highly condensed, full of iron, and radioactive. Naturally they would be gas-powered. (Hmmm, gives silent but deadly a whole new meaning, eh?)
My guess is that they will want to remove said weapons cache (aka gallbladder) at some point, but probably not before they get the anemia under control.
Naturally, there is no news on the anemia front. Yes, the spleen is enlarged, but how and why remain a mystery. A brand-new deerstalker hat for the first medical-type that figures it out, and if he cures the problem, he doesn't have to wear it in public.