last night at dereks party... a night of drama!!
my life is so interesting it could be a soap opera hehehe. anyway i tried calling derek all day but didnt get any answer, i figured he must be busy, so i thought i'd help out by bringing him some beer i stole from under my alcoholic father's bed. i put on my hottest outfit (pink hottpants and a white tank top that says "angel" on it) and went to derek's house at about 9pm.
i was early and nobody else was there but the door was open so i walked inside and yelled "derek! derek honey, where are you?" i didn't get any response, it looked like the house was empty. i walked to the kitchen and put the beer down on the table, and then i heard these weird noises coming from the pantry, so i opened the door, and DEREK AND SHAUNA FELL OUT!!!! even worse, they were only wearing their UNDERWEAR!!! man shauna could really lose some weight around the waist, well maybe i can't really talk hahaha.
"omg!" i cried. "i can't believe you did this to me, derek! i thought we really HAD something!"
"damn, woman!" said derek. "what is dis shiznit! we never had anythin goin on, yo! SHAUNA be my bitch!"
shauna giggled and adjusted her bra strap while i ran out of the room crying, i could almost see bricks falling out of the wall as my world started falling apart.
i was about to run out the front door when i was blocked by a bunch of ppl though, they'd finally started arriving! so instead of running home i sat down with them in the lounge. my feet would have hurt if i'd tried to run home anyway, as i was wearing my hot pink 7-inch platform heels. i didn't really know any of the people but i needed to get over the pain of having my heart broken so i started talking to this blond guy called jamie, he was really hott! he said he was in a rock band and normally i think that music sucks, but jamie was hott so it didnt matter hahaha.
"have you heard of this band," i said, trying to remember the name of the band lucy and the freak were talking about the day before, "called modest rat?"
"you mean modest mouse?" said jamie. he raised one eyebrow sexily, omg i almost began to fall in love with him then!!! but then two girls walked through the door and everyone turned around to look at them.
one of the girls was lucy, and she waved at me. i didn't recognise the other girl though. she had long curly hair and was wearing a knee-length dress, i suddenly felt really frumpy! but then she turned around and i saw her face and IT WAS SAFFRON THE FREAK.
"UGH!" i muttered to jamie. "that's lucy's stupid new friend, she has reaaallly horrible dress sense, i mean why is she wearing that dress? doesn't she know this is a party, not the mtv awards? plus, she SO needs to straighten her hair."
jamie didn't look at me. "what's her name?"
i glared at him. "why the hell do you need to know? she's a FREAK."
just then derek walked into the room, but he didnt look at me either. i watched in despair and he strode up to the freak girl with his hand outstretched.
"yo woman, i don't believe we've been intro'd! ma name's derek, tho out an the street i'm known as D-Wreck."
saffron looked disgusted but shook his hand anyway. i couldn't take it! what an ungrateful cow! how DARE she look at him in disgust! i could treat him sooo much better if he didn't sleep around with girls in his pantry.
after all the fuss lucy and saffron came and sat down next to me, it was soo embarrassing to be seen near that freak. but what was even more humiliating was that jamie totally ignored me and totally talked to saffron instead!!!
"your friend clarissa here was telling me about a band called modest rat," jamie said, smirking at me. the freak laughed maniacally and my face burned. i mean, it wasn't even funny, she was just trying to make a move on my man! that slut.
"they're called modest MOUSE actually" i said knowledgeably. "if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go get myself a drink." i dragged lucy with me into the kitchen where i broke down in tears and told her about my problems.
"lucy, my life sucks so hard!" i wailed. "first i find derek making out with shauna in the pantry! i mean, how could he break my heart? and now that stupid saffron friend of yours is moving in on my next love interest! what a stupid bitch, why is she trying to ruin my life?" fat tears spilled down my face and splattered on the kitchen counter.
"ok, look." lucy wiped away my tears with a paper tissue that was sitting nearby to soak up spilled beer. "tonight you are going to forget about everything sucky that has happened to you lately. here, have a beer."
so i had a beer. and another. lucy went to check on saffron, leaving me alone, so i had a few more. soon i was beginning to feel happy enough rejoin the party so i got up and walked to the sitting room where everyone was dancing to my favouritist kylie minogue song ever! i danced for awhile and everybody seem to love me dance moves, they were all pointing at my booty hahaha. i couldn't see any of my friends around tho so after awhile i walked out the front door to see if i could find lucy anywhere.
lucy was nowhere to be found, but guess who was sitting in the garden - JAMIE AND SAFFRON! they were staring at the sky and sharing a cigarette and talking and i suddenly felt infuriated. what did they think they were going, ignoring derek's kickass party! how RUDE! i stormed up to them and slipped my arms around jamie's waist.
"hey baby, i've been looking for you," i said sexily.
i felt jamie shrink back back against me, embarrassed to have been discovered with the freak. the freak stared at me and said, "i think someone needs to go home and rest for awhile."
"WHAT!" i yelled, stumbling over. "don't treat me like a baby! if anyone needs to go home, it should be YOU!"
"because I'M the one rolling around on the grass in a drunken frenzy," she said sarcastically. "sure."
OMG. i can't stand sarcastic ppl! i decided that it was time to take this bitch down. i tried to straighten myself so i could look her in the face, but i felt myself fall over and hit my head on the grass. the next thing i know, jamie and saffron were pushing me into her car, and then they drove me home. omg it was sooo humiliating. when we stopped at my house jamie got out to help me get out of the car, and i was expecting him to give me a goodnight kiss, so i turned me face towards his and he turned away.
"just go to sleep clarissa" he said.
i didn't have my house keys (can you blame me i was expecting to sleep over at derek's house and get it on with him hahaha) so jamie and saffron just left me on my doorstep and drove off. it was so mean of them, i would never ditch my friends like that! i didnt think jamie would either, it must've been the freak's bad influence rubbing off on him. i slept on the doormat.
when i woke up i had a bigass headache and to my horror i realised that my hotpants had split open! omg no wonder everybody was appreciating my moves yesterday! the front door opened and my mom dragged me inside screaming and all the neighbors heard it. today was the worst day of my life. i don't have how i will be able to fix my broken reputation and win jamie back. but even worse, how will i be able to fix my favourite pair of hotpants?!?!?!
omg life sux
i was early and nobody else was there but the door was open so i walked inside and yelled "derek! derek honey, where are you?" i didn't get any response, it looked like the house was empty. i walked to the kitchen and put the beer down on the table, and then i heard these weird noises coming from the pantry, so i opened the door, and DEREK AND SHAUNA FELL OUT!!!! even worse, they were only wearing their UNDERWEAR!!! man shauna could really lose some weight around the waist, well maybe i can't really talk hahaha.
"omg!" i cried. "i can't believe you did this to me, derek! i thought we really HAD something!"
"damn, woman!" said derek. "what is dis shiznit! we never had anythin goin on, yo! SHAUNA be my bitch!"
shauna giggled and adjusted her bra strap while i ran out of the room crying, i could almost see bricks falling out of the wall as my world started falling apart.
i was about to run out the front door when i was blocked by a bunch of ppl though, they'd finally started arriving! so instead of running home i sat down with them in the lounge. my feet would have hurt if i'd tried to run home anyway, as i was wearing my hot pink 7-inch platform heels. i didn't really know any of the people but i needed to get over the pain of having my heart broken so i started talking to this blond guy called jamie, he was really hott! he said he was in a rock band and normally i think that music sucks, but jamie was hott so it didnt matter hahaha.
"have you heard of this band," i said, trying to remember the name of the band lucy and the freak were talking about the day before, "called modest rat?"
"you mean modest mouse?" said jamie. he raised one eyebrow sexily, omg i almost began to fall in love with him then!!! but then two girls walked through the door and everyone turned around to look at them.
one of the girls was lucy, and she waved at me. i didn't recognise the other girl though. she had long curly hair and was wearing a knee-length dress, i suddenly felt really frumpy! but then she turned around and i saw her face and IT WAS SAFFRON THE FREAK.
"UGH!" i muttered to jamie. "that's lucy's stupid new friend, she has reaaallly horrible dress sense, i mean why is she wearing that dress? doesn't she know this is a party, not the mtv awards? plus, she SO needs to straighten her hair."
jamie didn't look at me. "what's her name?"
i glared at him. "why the hell do you need to know? she's a FREAK."
just then derek walked into the room, but he didnt look at me either. i watched in despair and he strode up to the freak girl with his hand outstretched.
"yo woman, i don't believe we've been intro'd! ma name's derek, tho out an the street i'm known as D-Wreck."
saffron looked disgusted but shook his hand anyway. i couldn't take it! what an ungrateful cow! how DARE she look at him in disgust! i could treat him sooo much better if he didn't sleep around with girls in his pantry.
after all the fuss lucy and saffron came and sat down next to me, it was soo embarrassing to be seen near that freak. but what was even more humiliating was that jamie totally ignored me and totally talked to saffron instead!!!
"your friend clarissa here was telling me about a band called modest rat," jamie said, smirking at me. the freak laughed maniacally and my face burned. i mean, it wasn't even funny, she was just trying to make a move on my man! that slut.
"they're called modest MOUSE actually" i said knowledgeably. "if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go get myself a drink." i dragged lucy with me into the kitchen where i broke down in tears and told her about my problems.
"lucy, my life sucks so hard!" i wailed. "first i find derek making out with shauna in the pantry! i mean, how could he break my heart? and now that stupid saffron friend of yours is moving in on my next love interest! what a stupid bitch, why is she trying to ruin my life?" fat tears spilled down my face and splattered on the kitchen counter.
"ok, look." lucy wiped away my tears with a paper tissue that was sitting nearby to soak up spilled beer. "tonight you are going to forget about everything sucky that has happened to you lately. here, have a beer."
so i had a beer. and another. lucy went to check on saffron, leaving me alone, so i had a few more. soon i was beginning to feel happy enough rejoin the party so i got up and walked to the sitting room where everyone was dancing to my favouritist kylie minogue song ever! i danced for awhile and everybody seem to love me dance moves, they were all pointing at my booty hahaha. i couldn't see any of my friends around tho so after awhile i walked out the front door to see if i could find lucy anywhere.
lucy was nowhere to be found, but guess who was sitting in the garden - JAMIE AND SAFFRON! they were staring at the sky and sharing a cigarette and talking and i suddenly felt infuriated. what did they think they were going, ignoring derek's kickass party! how RUDE! i stormed up to them and slipped my arms around jamie's waist.
"hey baby, i've been looking for you," i said sexily.
i felt jamie shrink back back against me, embarrassed to have been discovered with the freak. the freak stared at me and said, "i think someone needs to go home and rest for awhile."
"WHAT!" i yelled, stumbling over. "don't treat me like a baby! if anyone needs to go home, it should be YOU!"
"because I'M the one rolling around on the grass in a drunken frenzy," she said sarcastically. "sure."
OMG. i can't stand sarcastic ppl! i decided that it was time to take this bitch down. i tried to straighten myself so i could look her in the face, but i felt myself fall over and hit my head on the grass. the next thing i know, jamie and saffron were pushing me into her car, and then they drove me home. omg it was sooo humiliating. when we stopped at my house jamie got out to help me get out of the car, and i was expecting him to give me a goodnight kiss, so i turned me face towards his and he turned away.
"just go to sleep clarissa" he said.
i didn't have my house keys (can you blame me i was expecting to sleep over at derek's house and get it on with him hahaha) so jamie and saffron just left me on my doorstep and drove off. it was so mean of them, i would never ditch my friends like that! i didnt think jamie would either, it must've been the freak's bad influence rubbing off on him. i slept on the doormat.
when i woke up i had a bigass headache and to my horror i realised that my hotpants had split open! omg no wonder everybody was appreciating my moves yesterday! the front door opened and my mom dragged me inside screaming and all the neighbors heard it. today was the worst day of my life. i don't have how i will be able to fix my broken reputation and win jamie back. but even worse, how will i be able to fix my favourite pair of hotpants?!?!?!
omg life sux