(no subject)
So last night, John got incredibly fed up with Maggie's behavior and ended up hollering at her, in rather shocking language, for about 10 minutes on the porch (and he's got a loud-ass voice). Then earlier this evening he and the landlady's crackhead son were arguing, in the street, about money issues (and though D____ isn't that loud, when he's angry every other word out of his mouth is "fuck" or some conjugation of it). And of course, these are hardly isolated incidents. People on this street must think we're about the trashiest white trash ever.
I admit to being slightly embarrassed when things like this happen, but I'll let it slide over and over, not only because I know it doesn't really matter, but because it's useless to say anything to John: he doesn't care what people think. Not like all those people who claim not to care what people think -- I mean he really doesn't seem to care, at all. When we first knew each other I found that quality wholly admirable, but now I'm beginning to think it's slightly immature and self-indulgent.
Which of course got me to thinking: what does age have to do with how much you care about people's opinions? The general trend seems to be, when we're very young, we mostly seek our parent's approval; in the teen years, we care desperately what our peers think but don't give a rat's ass for any adult's opinion, especially our own parents; at some point in adulthood, evidently sometime around aquiring a family and a home, we start to care what our neighbors think. (Most of us.) Not sure what happens after that. I've heard of some elderly people who do what the hell they want because they're decades past caring, but on the other hand, aging usually seems to make one more conscientious and social-minded, so I can't believe that's the overwhelming tendency.
In fact, I've been thinking a lot about mental age in general, and how people's attitudes toward, like, everything -- money, politics, religion, the opposite sex, the same sex, traditions, manners, morals, laws, music, leisure, deferment of gratification, other cultures, possessions, impressing the neighbors, etc. -- change as a function of age. It would be interesting to create some kind of Mental Age Calculator, not unlike the Social Desirability Index I conceived a long time ago but never found an accurate way to calibrate. (Once I took a "What's your mental age?" test on OK Cupid or someplace, and came out at like 54, which is clearly nonsense; it didn't have a wide enough scope or it would have factored in the areas in which I'm incredibly immature. Like regarding finances. And men.)
But then it also occurs to me, that society is evolving so quickly, it may be coming to pass that each generation sort of adopts its own ideas about each of these things and carries them through the decades, such that the year one was born has more to do with one's attitudes than one's age per se. Like, someone who's 30 in 2007 may have more in common with a given 50-year-old in 2027 than with a given 30-year-old in 2027. Hard to say.
Oh! Speaking of men, I am very pleased with myself today, because I got one of those little "paychecks" for losing weight: a man flirted openly with me who was (a) in his 20's, (b) white, (c) not morbidly obese. HAHAHAHAHA that hasn't happened in so long. ((b) is relevant, of course, not because I necessarily like white guys better, but because they tend to be much less accepting of fat women than minorities are.) Actually, he was pretty hot. Yes, it was just the kind of ego boost I totally should not get too often at the risk of extreme cockiness, but hope to get a lot more of anyway as I keep shedding pounds.
Confuzius sez:
Age is just a number. Weight, on the other hand, is a measure of human worth.
I admit to being slightly embarrassed when things like this happen, but I'll let it slide over and over, not only because I know it doesn't really matter, but because it's useless to say anything to John: he doesn't care what people think. Not like all those people who claim not to care what people think -- I mean he really doesn't seem to care, at all. When we first knew each other I found that quality wholly admirable, but now I'm beginning to think it's slightly immature and self-indulgent.
Which of course got me to thinking: what does age have to do with how much you care about people's opinions? The general trend seems to be, when we're very young, we mostly seek our parent's approval; in the teen years, we care desperately what our peers think but don't give a rat's ass for any adult's opinion, especially our own parents; at some point in adulthood, evidently sometime around aquiring a family and a home, we start to care what our neighbors think. (Most of us.) Not sure what happens after that. I've heard of some elderly people who do what the hell they want because they're decades past caring, but on the other hand, aging usually seems to make one more conscientious and social-minded, so I can't believe that's the overwhelming tendency.
In fact, I've been thinking a lot about mental age in general, and how people's attitudes toward, like, everything -- money, politics, religion, the opposite sex, the same sex, traditions, manners, morals, laws, music, leisure, deferment of gratification, other cultures, possessions, impressing the neighbors, etc. -- change as a function of age. It would be interesting to create some kind of Mental Age Calculator, not unlike the Social Desirability Index I conceived a long time ago but never found an accurate way to calibrate. (Once I took a "What's your mental age?" test on OK Cupid or someplace, and came out at like 54, which is clearly nonsense; it didn't have a wide enough scope or it would have factored in the areas in which I'm incredibly immature. Like regarding finances. And men.)
But then it also occurs to me, that society is evolving so quickly, it may be coming to pass that each generation sort of adopts its own ideas about each of these things and carries them through the decades, such that the year one was born has more to do with one's attitudes than one's age per se. Like, someone who's 30 in 2007 may have more in common with a given 50-year-old in 2027 than with a given 30-year-old in 2027. Hard to say.
Oh! Speaking of men, I am very pleased with myself today, because I got one of those little "paychecks" for losing weight: a man flirted openly with me who was (a) in his 20's, (b) white, (c) not morbidly obese. HAHAHAHAHA that hasn't happened in so long. ((b) is relevant, of course, not because I necessarily like white guys better, but because they tend to be much less accepting of fat women than minorities are.) Actually, he was pretty hot. Yes, it was just the kind of ego boost I totally should not get too often at the risk of extreme cockiness, but hope to get a lot more of anyway as I keep shedding pounds.
Confuzius sez:
Age is just a number. Weight, on the other hand, is a measure of human worth.