(no subject)
There have been times, particularly when I've had a very difficult, painful or irreversible decision to make, that I've longed to know with certainty the will of God. With anxiety, social pressure, ulterior motives, irrational beliefs, second thoughts, third thoughts, fourth thoughts crowding my mind, I thought I'd have given anything to catch a glimpse of that beam of pure, infinitely certain light of truth and goodness. There are those who say that prayer and meditation are useful tools for chipping away at the concrete petty-mindedness that separates us from God; that practiced regularly, they can intuitively align our thoughts and feelings with that of the immortal invisible. My immediate response to that is first to scoff, second to rue the continuing uncertainty and disagreement even amongst those who dedicate their very lives to prayer and meditation, third to wonder why it needs to be so damned much of a time and energy commitment -- you'd think that God would want us to know His will, easily and quickly and certainly, even those of us who haven't the time or patience or faith to build up a strong spiritual life. (I've been rather forced to conclude that He makes it difficult on purpose, intentionally obscuring His ultimate truth. It must amuse God to see us struggle and fail to understand; it must be entertaining for Him to watch opposing yet equally self-righteous factions fight to the death; it must be hilarious for Him when all of our benevolent intentions and noble sentiments are blown out of the water by uncontrollable hedonistic impulses. The God of my understanding has a rather perverse sense of humor. But that's another topic.)
Anyhow, as helpful as I believe it would be to have that clarity, particularly when those difficult decisions arise, I've come to realize that I'm not sure it would affect my behavior much. When I think I do have an intuitive inkling of what God would like me to do, and it's not what I want to do, my gut reaction is usually not one of gratitude but of resentment; and my mental reaction is to sulkily turn my back on morality, or even more absurd, to try to reason with God, like, to convince Him that what I'm about to do is really for the best and You should totally let me get away with it with no consequences. Better yet, You should just change the entire moral structure of the universe and human civilization so that this one whim of mine will be more easily accomodated. The only time I might genuinely be grateful for divine guidance is when I seriously have no clue and no preference and yet it is dreadfully important that I make a decision I can stick with wholeheartedly. So maybe that gives me a hint as to why knowing God's will is so difficult: it ensures that only the people who earnestly want to do the right thing, even if it's against their best interests, get through.
I'm aware that I am addressing mainly a bunch of hardened atheists, but even without belief in the existence of a sentient creator, the metaphysical ethical questions do not disappear. Is there absolute truth and righteousness? When two or more moral principles are in conflict, how can you tell which is the most important one? Is it ever "okay" to compromise on ethical matters? Is it necessarily terrible to do an unethical thing if you have otherwise decent motives? How much choice do we really have in our own decision-making process, anyway; and how bad should we feel about doing things we know are wrong?
Geez. I can see why religion was invented. Not that it helped much.
Anyhow, as helpful as I believe it would be to have that clarity, particularly when those difficult decisions arise, I've come to realize that I'm not sure it would affect my behavior much. When I think I do have an intuitive inkling of what God would like me to do, and it's not what I want to do, my gut reaction is usually not one of gratitude but of resentment; and my mental reaction is to sulkily turn my back on morality, or even more absurd, to try to reason with God, like, to convince Him that what I'm about to do is really for the best and You should totally let me get away with it with no consequences. Better yet, You should just change the entire moral structure of the universe and human civilization so that this one whim of mine will be more easily accomodated. The only time I might genuinely be grateful for divine guidance is when I seriously have no clue and no preference and yet it is dreadfully important that I make a decision I can stick with wholeheartedly. So maybe that gives me a hint as to why knowing God's will is so difficult: it ensures that only the people who earnestly want to do the right thing, even if it's against their best interests, get through.
I'm aware that I am addressing mainly a bunch of hardened atheists, but even without belief in the existence of a sentient creator, the metaphysical ethical questions do not disappear. Is there absolute truth and righteousness? When two or more moral principles are in conflict, how can you tell which is the most important one? Is it ever "okay" to compromise on ethical matters? Is it necessarily terrible to do an unethical thing if you have otherwise decent motives? How much choice do we really have in our own decision-making process, anyway; and how bad should we feel about doing things we know are wrong?
Geez. I can see why religion was invented. Not that it helped much.