Hello there, I am your other editor for this week.
The places in this piece that were most poignant for me were places that you gave specific images. "I am brass bands and billowing flags" worked really well for me, as well as "I am choirs and stained glass."
On the other hand, the parts with abstract concepts didn't work so well. I can't imagine sadness, desolation, optimism, or boredom. I felt the images you provided got us to those words without you needing to mention them
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The places in this piece that were most poignant for me were places that you gave specific images. "I am brass bands and billowing flags" worked really well for me, as well as "I am choirs and stained glass."
On the other hand, the parts with abstract concepts didn't work so well. I can't imagine sadness, desolation, optimism, or boredom. I felt the images you provided got us to those words without you needing to mention them ( ... )
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