Wow November 2006!
It seems that I go through long periods without posting in this thing. I spend a lot of time checking communities here on livejournal but I don't post entries as often as one probably should.
The sad thing is though, that in the year and a half or so that I've failed to write, not much has really changed. Nothing super drastic anyway. Let's see..
The new car has been crashed a few times. Nothing really bad. One time was my fault, the other times the other party was responsible.
I got a new job. My boss left Lindt to be manager at a Vera Bradley store and I went with her. Why? Because she was a great boss, and after a year and a half working in a chocolate shop, it was time for a change. Now it's all about handbags and after six months I'm starting to get burned out over there. I have no working drive or desire to do much of anything while I'm over there. It's pain enough having to be there not to mention corporate is going to be there this week to make things extra miserable.
All I want is a big break. After the pastry chef thing didn't work out I thought I wanted to be a teacher. Now, as much as I really do still love kids, I just can't see myself enjoying spending more than 3 hours with a bunch of eight year olds. Once I realized I didn't want to be a teacher, I went into this brief panic mode where I kept jumping from occupation to occupation thinking 'I can do that! Yeah, that's what I want to be!' For two days I had convinced myself I could be a great actress. All I would need to do was wait for auditions in my communities theater group and audition. Surely I'd be discovered that way. But then I realized that my being as shy as I am, that would never work and I didn't really want to be an actress anyways. Then, for almost an entire week I decided I was going to be a graphic designer, so I registered myself in a mass media course at school, and started a free trial of photoshop on my computer. I would have taken an art course but there were none available. So, I soon decided that that path wasn't for me. Graphic designers don't make that much and why be poor doing something I'm not really passionate about anyways? I'm really not even very artistic. Scratch another potential career off the list!
So, now my plan is to go another year at Mass Bay and attend Framingham State next fall. Get all the credits I can and transfer them over. That way at the state school I can take only those courses which I actually care about. I want to major in english. Maybe I'll become a freelance writer, writing novels on the side of course because it's my dream to become a famous author. You know, the next Jo Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, or Sophie Kinsella. I right now have a decent idea for a young adult fiction novel. It's just a matter of disciplining myself to work on it more often than I have been. I've always loved to write, so I'm almost positive that a career in writing actually is the "write" choice for me! At least I hope it is, because I don't think I can take anymore of this uncertainty I've been feeling since I gratuated high school.
Seriously, at this point in my life the only thing I'm certain of is that I want David Cook to win American Idol. That's pretty darn pathetic. Half the time I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm almost 21 and I still haven't really been in a relationship (something my mom was making me feel like a loser for the other day.) I'm still shy and quiet. I can't socialize well with other people at all even though I want so much to be able to. At work, everyone acts like best friends. They've all paired off into twos over there, hanging out with each other outside of work and calling one another fairly regularly. I haven't spent time with any of them outside work since January, and no matter how many times I check my cell phone, I haven't had any missed calls because no one ever calls me. I've even lost touch with Mandy! I have not talked to her since last October, something I thought would never happen. We used to hang out every day! She'd drop by my house with a new movie to watch and we'd just hang out. Now I'm nervous to call her because it's been so long since we've talked. It shouldn't be that way. It just shouldn't. I've got to call her this week.
So, this entry has been a lot longer than I had meant to make it, and much more pessimistic and depressing than it should have been. Oh well, I guess this is what journals are for. To rant and rave so you get all the stress and crap life throws at you off your chest.
On a good note, Alyssa is going to be in natick for a while and we're hanging out tomorrow. That'll be really nice, I've missed my best friend like crazy since she moved! American Idol is on tomorrow night too, and that's become a serious obsession that I truthfully enjoy having. So tomorrow, no work, my best friend, Barnes and Noble, and David Cook. I suppose life isn't ALL that bad :)
The sad thing is though, that in the year and a half or so that I've failed to write, not much has really changed. Nothing super drastic anyway. Let's see..
The new car has been crashed a few times. Nothing really bad. One time was my fault, the other times the other party was responsible.
I got a new job. My boss left Lindt to be manager at a Vera Bradley store and I went with her. Why? Because she was a great boss, and after a year and a half working in a chocolate shop, it was time for a change. Now it's all about handbags and after six months I'm starting to get burned out over there. I have no working drive or desire to do much of anything while I'm over there. It's pain enough having to be there not to mention corporate is going to be there this week to make things extra miserable.
All I want is a big break. After the pastry chef thing didn't work out I thought I wanted to be a teacher. Now, as much as I really do still love kids, I just can't see myself enjoying spending more than 3 hours with a bunch of eight year olds. Once I realized I didn't want to be a teacher, I went into this brief panic mode where I kept jumping from occupation to occupation thinking 'I can do that! Yeah, that's what I want to be!' For two days I had convinced myself I could be a great actress. All I would need to do was wait for auditions in my communities theater group and audition. Surely I'd be discovered that way. But then I realized that my being as shy as I am, that would never work and I didn't really want to be an actress anyways. Then, for almost an entire week I decided I was going to be a graphic designer, so I registered myself in a mass media course at school, and started a free trial of photoshop on my computer. I would have taken an art course but there were none available. So, I soon decided that that path wasn't for me. Graphic designers don't make that much and why be poor doing something I'm not really passionate about anyways? I'm really not even very artistic. Scratch another potential career off the list!
So, now my plan is to go another year at Mass Bay and attend Framingham State next fall. Get all the credits I can and transfer them over. That way at the state school I can take only those courses which I actually care about. I want to major in english. Maybe I'll become a freelance writer, writing novels on the side of course because it's my dream to become a famous author. You know, the next Jo Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, or Sophie Kinsella. I right now have a decent idea for a young adult fiction novel. It's just a matter of disciplining myself to work on it more often than I have been. I've always loved to write, so I'm almost positive that a career in writing actually is the "write" choice for me! At least I hope it is, because I don't think I can take anymore of this uncertainty I've been feeling since I gratuated high school.
Seriously, at this point in my life the only thing I'm certain of is that I want David Cook to win American Idol. That's pretty darn pathetic. Half the time I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm almost 21 and I still haven't really been in a relationship (something my mom was making me feel like a loser for the other day.) I'm still shy and quiet. I can't socialize well with other people at all even though I want so much to be able to. At work, everyone acts like best friends. They've all paired off into twos over there, hanging out with each other outside of work and calling one another fairly regularly. I haven't spent time with any of them outside work since January, and no matter how many times I check my cell phone, I haven't had any missed calls because no one ever calls me. I've even lost touch with Mandy! I have not talked to her since last October, something I thought would never happen. We used to hang out every day! She'd drop by my house with a new movie to watch and we'd just hang out. Now I'm nervous to call her because it's been so long since we've talked. It shouldn't be that way. It just shouldn't. I've got to call her this week.
So, this entry has been a lot longer than I had meant to make it, and much more pessimistic and depressing than it should have been. Oh well, I guess this is what journals are for. To rant and rave so you get all the stress and crap life throws at you off your chest.
On a good note, Alyssa is going to be in natick for a while and we're hanging out tomorrow. That'll be really nice, I've missed my best friend like crazy since she moved! American Idol is on tomorrow night too, and that's become a serious obsession that I truthfully enjoy having. So tomorrow, no work, my best friend, Barnes and Noble, and David Cook. I suppose life isn't ALL that bad :)