#7 Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James
This book got me thinking hard about the correlation between a decision to love someone and their widely understood emotional state.
As I stated before, I believe that everyone is fucked-up. More or less. It is bad enough if the "more" applies to us. It is even worse when it concerns someone we love.
Imagine you meet someone. All signs in the earth and sky tell you that it is your soulmate. You seem to understand each other without words, you cannot keep your hands off each other, you are unable to think of anything but them. You fall in love. But then what if you fall for someone who is emotionally damaged? Let's day anger issues, incapability of love, aversion to commitment, self-abhorrence.The list may be endless. It might not be their fault, maybe it's their way of coping with parents divorce, abuse in their childhood, rejection from previous lover. Everyone has a baggage. What if it is a baggage impossibly heavy to bear?
Can you decide not to love them then?
'Yes' doesn't seem to be an easy answer here. So we launch into the "I-can-save-Him-scenario" which involves changing someone. And changing someone you love doesn't go well with being all open and accepting. It imposes conditions on us loving someone. But then again, can anyone demand unconditional love?
In the end, the love often fades and we are left with the fuckedupness alone.
But the alternative is being lonely, with only your fucked-up issues keeping you company.
Or having a relationship with someone else, whom you don't love but they are comfortable, easy and.. well for the lack of better word - normal.
Which is not quite right either.
As I stated before, I believe that everyone is fucked-up. More or less. It is bad enough if the "more" applies to us. It is even worse when it concerns someone we love.
Imagine you meet someone. All signs in the earth and sky tell you that it is your soulmate. You seem to understand each other without words, you cannot keep your hands off each other, you are unable to think of anything but them. You fall in love. But then what if you fall for someone who is emotionally damaged? Let's day anger issues, incapability of love, aversion to commitment, self-abhorrence.The list may be endless. It might not be their fault, maybe it's their way of coping with parents divorce, abuse in their childhood, rejection from previous lover. Everyone has a baggage. What if it is a baggage impossibly heavy to bear?
Can you decide not to love them then?
'Yes' doesn't seem to be an easy answer here. So we launch into the "I-can-save-Him-scenario" which involves changing someone. And changing someone you love doesn't go well with being all open and accepting. It imposes conditions on us loving someone. But then again, can anyone demand unconditional love?
In the end, the love often fades and we are left with the fuckedupness alone.
But the alternative is being lonely, with only your fucked-up issues keeping you company.
Or having a relationship with someone else, whom you don't love but they are comfortable, easy and.. well for the lack of better word - normal.
Which is not quite right either.