#6 Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
I must say I am pretty confused by this book. Before reading it I knew nothing about it. Frankly I decided to read it because I liked the title. Plus I was tired of seventeen year old heroins, therefore I welcomed book about people in their twenties more than willingly.
At first I thought that it is like twilight but without the supernatural factor, which made the plot irritatingly seemingly realistic. A college graduate meets man of her dreams: rich, handsome, witty twenty-seven year old CEO. Modern prince charming. Which feeds you with worse lies than Disney in your childhood: it makes you almost believe that this kind of scenario is possible. Which of course it isn't . Believe me, I speak from experience: In my life I have met three CEOs of big international companies, all of them old and ugly. Not really romance materials.
Then however it turns out that lovely CEO has major emotional problems, is incapable of love and wants to make a sex slave out of main heroin. Which was unexpected and hugely disturbing.
White knight in shining armour becomes the Dark knight.
Well, nobody is perfect, copy that.
Bottom line? Everyone is fucked-up. More or less.
However shocked I was I kept reading, because somehow the story pulled me in and made me feel of the things the main heroin felt: the torment, the love, agitation. But it was not until the very end of the book, feeling anguish of the heroin when it hit me.
The shocking discovery that I might like the book because it makes me feel all the things I miss feeling myself. The butterflies, the joy of falling in love, the blissful uncertainty. And then the darker ones. This choking kind of sadness when you are unhappily in love. The agony of realizing your dream of love is delirious.
I even miss that.
Somehow reading books seems the only way to evoke at least the ghost of these feelings myself.
Who would have thought I have this masochistic, hurting-myself, self-destructive twist in me.
Oh yes, we are all screwed up. Some of us more than we know.