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oh my god i am in utter fandom withdrawal. i've gone without internet access plenty of times, but i think this is the longest i've ever gone without accessing the internet - aka, without finding a place somewhere and fandoming away. This updating LJ on the sly from work is not cutting it. It's like I'm sending my fandomy thoughts out into a void and getting nothing back. D:

I MISS FANFIC SO MUCH. oh my god. yesterday i just stared at all the e-books i have downloaded for emergencies such as this and kept opening and closing them in irritation, because i'm sorry, when all you want is to read fanfic where john and rodney get almost killed by things and then hook up, nothing else will do. I MISS FANFIC. AHHHH.

which brings me to fucking SGA.

All I've done for the past week is watch SGA. I have all these meta-y thoughts on SGA and nothing to do with them, and I know none of you care, but I have been sitting on these things all weekend, so DEAL.

Lol I hate sci fi?

I often say that it takes me like 2 years to let myself get into a fandom, because I get easily overwhelmed and I know that something will swallow me up if I let it - so I will dip my toe in and then run away. Seriously. I did it with SGA, I did it with Akame, I did it with Death Note to an extent, and lord knows how often I've done it with Naruto.

I went on my first grand SGA binge and watched this show in fall 2005, which was still after resisting for like a year. At that point I watched all of S1 and most of S2 and then gave it up for lost, because as much as I think that SGA fanfic is a sheer miracle and a gift to mankind, I just could not see it. I could not see the pairing, I could not get past the sheer insanity of the show. Yes, I know that at the time I was also watching a show where people destroy dinosaurs with tennis balls, but really. SGA is sheer crack.

But what are your thoughts on McShep? (Spoilers for S2 ahead.)

So in 2005-2006, I think I watched up til Grace Under Pressure and then I just got distracted by Tenipuri fandom and bored and also hello I hate sci fi. But really? The main reason I quit watching SGA was because I wasn't feeilng the love between John and Rodney.

Like seriously, for 1 2/3 seasons of this show, John doesn't display any affection towards Rodney. AT ALL. EVER. I know, because I looked for it, I looked for it hard! I looked for it 3 years ago and I looked for it this week! They banter, they snark, they gravitate towards each other a lot, but J-Flan (lol) always just looks at DH like he's a constant irritant he has to live with. I was telling spaggel like a month ago that I had my doubts that John would ever wake up and see Rodney, much less learn to love the guy.

Well, apparently I quit watching too soon (seriously, NEARLY TWO SEASONS, wtf), because somewhere in between Grace Under Pressure (which, by the way, is the first time he ever openly acknowledges that they have ANY kind of friendship, aka "hey, Buddy!" when he's coming to rescue Rodney) and the S2 finale, John starts actually looking at Rodney, and not just looking, staring. His eyes kind of sparkle, he smiles, there's affection all over his face.

It's pretty :D :D :D. And so is he, actually.

WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE ATLANTIS IN S3, which, okay, not even going into the fact that they still talk over the phone and almost confess their feelings to each other and have dinner dates while they're back on earth, but anyway: JOHN IS ABOUT TO WALK OUT OF THE CITY FOREVER AND THERE'S THIS MOMENT WHEN HE'S WATCHING RODNEY DO HIS RODNEY THING, AND HE JUST STOPS AND WATCHES HIM (along with carson and elizabeth) AND HE'S GOT THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE LIKE HE KNOWS HE'LL NEVER EVER SEE RODNEY LIKE THIS AGAIN AND HE JUST WANTS TO SAVOR IT, AND IT PRETTY MUCH WON ME OVER FOREVER.

and okay, in as much as i DEEPLY RESENT the fact that it took Joe Flanigan thirty-something episodes to decide that his character should not be quite such a dick all the time to Rodney, I also KIND OF REALLY LOVE IT, because of course it would take John that long, of course it would get to the point where his relationship with Rodney would just gradually turn into this kind of brimful affection he can't suppress. Which is totally what it is by the start of S3.

These two went through quite a bit of angst during Trinity/Aurora over the "what's the matter, Colonel? Don't trust me?" stuff - which I actually wrote a nice little essay about the first time around, because those pair of eps were what initially allowed me to see the possibility for this pairing. At the time I was majorly, majorly pissed off with John for not seeing how hard Rodney was working to regain his trust during that arc, because for all that Rodney screwed up the once, he repeatedly does the impossible for them again and again, and the fact that John just wasn't seeing that, like, ever, was beginning to grate on me. Slightly. A lot.

But I think, when you combine that whole giant trust issue with all the trauma of the Ford arc, and John nearly dying for real, and then Rodney nearly dying for real, it makes it seem incredibly natural that once John has worked out his issues with Rodney's ego, and once Rodney's ego has taken a backseat to his dependence on his friends, John starts waking up to a lot of things about the two of them.

And, you know, I really don't think Joe Flanigan is some kind of great actor - lol - but I think he honestly took as much time as John Sheppard would actually need to get to the point where Rodney is his best friend. It happens gradually, and the fact that everyone else in the fandom apparently saw their great gay love or something thirty-five eps before I did hasn't actually spoiled it for me.

SO I'M REALLY KIND OF INSANELY :D :D :D :D :D :D ABOUT THIS PAIRING NOW.

Season 3:

I am also KIND OF INSANELY D: D: D: D: D: D: ABOUT SEASON THREE. With the following thoughts:

I haven't seen any part of last season except for the return of Rodney/Whale, so don't spoil me. But oh my god, I ship Teyla/Michael so hard. I think both Teyla and Elizabeth are the blandest heroines ever, and Teyla is the worst, but put her in a room with Michael and suddenly she's actually interesting. I love Michael. He's awesome. I want them to have cylon babies.

Turning the Wraith into *spoilers* and then leaving them to *spoiler*, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I actually knew about this before I saw it because arboretum and I talked about it briefly a few weeks back. But actually watching it was a nightmare. It was repulsing.

The end of S2 and most of S3 actually did a really good job of pointing out the hypocrisy of what the Atlantis team did to Michael / the Wraith - although it did not actually come down on the side of 'wtf this is unforgivable' which it absolutely should have wtf.

But it did do this:
- repeatedly showed that there were going to be serious and ugly repercussions for what they did, while also showing us repeatedly that the Wraith have a number of redeeming features which makes what they did even worse, if that's even possible
- repeatedly showed us that the SGA team is a bunch of hypocrites for doing this to the Wraith
- repeatedly parallelled what they did to the Wraith with the constant and horrible experimentation that the Ancients did before on other societies and cultures.
- repeatedly showed us that the Ancients were seriously fucked up, and the SGA team is kind of repeatedly horrified by all they are learning about them. Which, again, reminds us that they are in fact, COMPLETE HYPOCRITES.
- Okay, and it gave us Michael, and Michael in his righteous anger is really hot.

Overall, the show got a LOT better in S3 because of all this attempt at deepening the universe and bringing in the additional complexity of the wraith and the new computer bad guys. While still continuing to be totally ridiculous. Seriously, exploding tumors. Exploding tumors! And whales who broadcast life-saving cable.

John and Rodney were awesome in S3. I want S4. I want to catch up on S4 so I can start watching S5.

And most of all? FANFIC. I WANT FANFIC.

At some point in the last three months I must have used the word "puddlejumper" around my mom. I have no idea why or when but now she's using it. She's like "make sure you book me on a flight out of a hub, I don't want to be flying on a little puddlejumper!" I'm like, what. How do you know that word. She's like "that's what you call them!" I'm like, "...REALLY?" God, even when I'm not in fandoms they take over my life.

This morning on the ferry I saw REAL LIVE JELLYFISH. They were swimming around and everything in the river! I've never seen jellyfish like, in the wild! I did not know jellyfish could live in fresh water! Although I think they were flushed inland by the gale force winds I think we had this weekend, it was still pretty amazing.

This reminds me, I need to figure out the secret to throwing a killer hurricane party.

But mostly, I need internet. Ugh. The reason I don't have internet yet, for anyone who cares, is because I had to reschedule with the cable company five times to set it up. I'm not joking. They just kept not showing up. By the fifth time I was like, no, I think I'm just going to ask for my money back. But because the telecomm industry sucks, that's literally the only major provider in this area, so I'm having to scour the wilds of coastal Virginia to find alternate providers. Ugh. I JUST WANT PORN AND FREE TV.

I appear to be going to an acting class tonight. I have not been to an acting class since I was 15. Ahaha, I kind of can't wait. :D