they should call it YAYkuza!

[bookshop]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRACO MALFOY. *__*

1. I am so in love with the Big Bang fics and artists this year. So in love. this is the best round we've ever had, i think, and i'm so happy we're going out on this note.
   
   
2. And I am so sick of being this stressed out over this challenge. We go through this every year, and this year I can't even complain about it properly. I just know I've had 2 weeks notice to pack up and move all my shit, and i have gotten nothing done this week because of the amount of work (much of it a complete waste) that i've been putting into this challenge.
   
   
3. my desire for hikago fic continues to be this itch that constantly goes unscratched. hikago fics tend to be very sparse on plot and they especially tend to be very sparse on CONFLICT. and conflict, especially emotional dynamic conflicts between two people, are what i want most in a fic. specifically for hikago fic i want AKIRA/HIKARU CONFLICT and i want it WITH LOTS OF EXCITING HIGH TENSION GO MATCHES. i do not feel i am asking for too much. but mostly i just want to reread 'Resolution of Territory' over and over again. love love love.
   
   
4. all i have wanted to do this week (except for #6 below) is read freaking SGA fic, and moreover, catch up on the show. Where has this crazy impulse come from, and how soon can it leave me alone?
   
   
5. i haven't had a bloody chance even to advertise it this year, but june05 is open for business today! drop by and make your birthday wishes, if nothing else! ♥
   
   
6. I am so in love with Dresden Files right now. Harry/Marcone is so freaking hot. So freaking exactly like Viewfinder, only more subtle, with buckets of UST substituted for lol buttrape, and stretched out over ten delicious novels. God, it's ridiculous how much I am enjoying them. My weekend with thehoyden and everysecondtues in Chicago could have actually involved seeing Chicago if not for the fact that we were all so obsessed with Harry/Marcone that all we did was hang around writing fic. WHICH I HAVE TO SAY IS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO SPEND A WEEKEND. also, Hoyden's Hyde Park apartment is so seriously charming and great and picturesque. Also, she is making rageprufrock read these books. And I am making arboretum. I'm so happy we are unified on the 'must bend beloved friends to our will and make them read books and write fic for us' front.
   
   
7. She and I will both be posting Harry/Marcone fic here in a day or two. can i just say again. hot. hot hot hot hot hot.
   
   
8. Lightbox is the greatest computer script ever. So pretty. So polished. So completely perfect for a fanfic/fanart challenge. It makes me want to go back and recode all my fics ever with all my fanart ever just so I can use lightboxing. Sometimes the internet is an amazing place!
   
   
9. I am so tired of being stressed out over work and this move and basically everything ever. I really hate that as soon as I'm done with the Big Bang I have to move in A WEEK and say goodbye to all my friends here in A WEEK and somehow wrap my brain around the fact that after living here for 8 years I will be leaving in A WEEK. I thought up until 6 days ago that I would be moving in July, not by the middle of June, and the last 6 days have been spent 1) out of town 2) coding fics, and I am not prepared for this. I'm not prepared to be this stressed out or move across country or say goodbye to my entire life. I am eager, but. on the other hand. no. just no.
   
   
10. suddenly out of the blue it seems like everyone has an opinion on Stephanie Meyer and Twilight. I really don't see what's in the water that you people are just now deciding that these books are some sort of outrage and everyone in their brother eta: WHAT AN AMAZING TYPO should speak out about how these books are vile and ridiculous and borderline/well-over-the-border-and-sneaking-under-the-fence misogynist, etc etc. Though if you want commentary, carlanime's is hilarious. And also, just saying, I find Edward Cullen ~*SPARKLES!~* jokes of all varieties to be endlessly funny, forever.
    
    yes, these books are ridiculous. these books are completely vapid and terribly written and they are a horrible step in the wrong direction for girls looking to their YA lit for strong female heroines. duh.
    
    but they're also completely full of one thing all girls everywhere love: romance. stephanie meyer is a bestseller because she knows how to capture that completely euphoric heady teenage daydream of true love. she knows how to capture that sense of your stomach being on tenderhooks at every moment. she knows how to wring every drop of roller-coaster emotion out of bella's love for edward. and to her target audience - young teenage girls, hello - the ability to capture that flushed excitement is nearly always going to win out. that doesn't make the books good. but they're worth paying attention to, because she does do it well.
    
    [ i feel the need to say that since you guys are all having at mega-smash YA bestsellers, libba bray's books actually aggravated me far more than stephanie meyer's, because at least in stephanie meyer's books, it was painfully obvious that i was supposed to sympathize with and find bella endearing, and dammit, the author was trying so hard.
    
    whereas, even though i recognize that libba bray's characters are all much stronger and more pro-feminist, and the books much better written on the whole - i still don't even know whether i'm supposed to like any of these people. they're all kind of, well, all smug bitches - especially gemma (and felicity, but i almost like her better just because gemma is so smugly self-righteous about how much of a bitch felicity is, while being completely oblivious to her own often insensitive and cruel behavior). granted, i didn't like the gossip girls either, but at least then i knew that liking them wasn't really the point. ]
    
    
11. here is a random list of things that i like!
    
    - being in the city! i love the city so much. i have never actually lived in a city and i am kind of interested as to whether norfolk will be metropolitan enough for me. i suspect it will be something of a buffer to be living in sleepy portsmouth across the bay, because i'll be spending my days downtown but coming home to the seaside Stars Hollow at night, i can't get over this ever. in any case, i will have moved 3 hours closer to an IKEA and 4 hours closer to a Design Within Reach. I feel these are incredibly important locations.
    
    - Shirota Yuu's blog. he makes me so happy all the time.
    
    - tentacles. i love tentacles so much. tentacle sex, tentacle art, squidwarts ♥, dana's draco/squid fic, randomly stumbling across NWS! tentacle porn in hp fanart communities lol, dream of the fisherman's tentacle sex, those crazy weird japanese porn vids where there's like, a hot girl in a tub with a bunch of squid, lol what, tentacle yaoi lololol god. i love tentacles! they're so happy. who wouldn't want to be molested by a happy creature who wants to love you long time with many arms at once! and i'm sure that the many occasions in hentai when the tentacle monster actually causes their partner's insides to explode are completely inaccurate, surely that doesn't happen all that much.
    
    - shark movies! i love shark movies and bad creature attacks! movies in general. but especially shark movies. they are the best. ask me how many times i have seen Deep Blue Sea.
    
    - Viewfinder!!!! I seriously have been intending to make a post pimping Viewfinder for well over 2 years now, and I never got around to it, and now that I am all about the Dresden Files where the harry/marcone dynamic is pretty much identical to Viewfinder but sadly lacking the crucial element of buttsex, it has filled me with renewed appreciation for Asami and Takaba and their great whiny gay love. Takaba is almost more whiny about being pwned than Light. That's saying a lot. It's so beautiful. Mmm, Yakuza love.
    
    - IRON MAN. oh my god iron man fandom, please be awesome, as awesome as that tony/jarvis fic i read the other day, COME ON I AM READY FOR YOU BABY. also among other things, how cute is pepper/agent colson! so cute!!!!! i want there to be fic!!!!!!!
    
    - lea salonga. she is my favorite singer ever, did you know that? i feel you should all know that.
    
    - Avatar! I've been wanting to pimp avatar forever; but do i even need to? I don't need to pimp avatar, do i? everybody knows it's completely made of awesome, by now, right? right?

last night I left the most amazing prompts for moonythestrals on her prompt request post, and now i'm completely pining because i really want someone to write all of them. here are my amazing prompts, and also, i threw in more than i posted for moony because i have more fandoms than is possibly fair to bombard one person with at once.

AMAZING PROMPT LIST!!!!!

AKIRA/HIKARU, PROMPT=MYSTERY SCIENCE

AKIRA/HIKARU, PROMPT=DINNER & A MOVIE

AKIRA/HIKARU, PROMPT=WAYA'S LIFE IS SO HARD

AKIRA/HIKARU, PROMPT=

TONY/RHODEY, IDK IF YOU EVEN LIKE IRON MAN (THE WHOLE WORLD SHOULD BE WRITING ME THIS) BUT SERIOUSLY, TONY/RHODEY, PROMPT = NEXT TIME, BABY

PEPPER/AGENT COLSON, PROMPT=LUNCH BREAKS. *____* IL THIS PAIRING THEY ARE SO CUTE SO CUTE

LIGHT/L, PROMPT= TWIN KIRA SMUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( AKA LIGHT SEDUCES L AND L'S LIKE HELL YES I WILL BE KIRA WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE 1000000000X HOTTER WHEN YOU ARE KIRA AND BY "HOTTER" I MEAN "MORE OF A MORON THAN USUAL BUT ALSO SEXY MMMMM" AND I MAY OR MAY NOT BE SECRETLY PLOTTING YOUR DESTRUCTION BUT IN THE MEANTIME I WILL HAVE HOT DEATH GOD SEX WITH YOU YES PLEASE ALSO ILU :x AND YAY WE CAN HAS DEATH AND WORLD DOMINATION. what. shut up. this is only my dream death note fic, here, what. )

DEAN/ANYONE, PROMPT=DEAN TRIES TO SEDUCE HIS WAY OUT OF HELL

TEZUKA/RYOMA, PROMPT=LOL RYOMA GETS AMNESIA AGAIN AND THINKS TEZUKA IS HIS DAD

SHIROTA/YANAGI, PROMPT= EVERYONE LOVES SHIROTAN, YANAGI HAS TO COMPETE FOR HIS LOVE. :( BONUS POINTS IF YAMAPI AND KIMERU ARE ACTUALLY IN THE SAME ROOM AND MAGIC HAPPENS, GOD; TEN MIILLION BONUS POINTS IF SHIROTA GOES AROUND PHOTOGRAPHING FOOD

ATOBE/SANADA, PROMPT=SOMETIMES ELEVATOR SCHOOLS REALLY SUCK, BONUS POINTS FOR INCLUSION OF FUJI AND KIRIHARA, TEN MILLION BONUS POINTS IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE APPEAR FOR NO REASON: SAEKI, SHINJI, AKUTSU, MIZUKI, KARUPIN.

BRAD PITT / GEORGE CLOONEY, PROMPT=ANGELINA THINKS IT'S A GREAT IDEA, OKAY

JESS/RORY, PROMPT= HOW MANY BOOKS DOES THIS GUY HAVE TO DEDICATE TO YOU, RORY GILMORE >:0

RORY/PARIS, PROMPT=PARIS, AS IN THE CITY, AND WHAT THEY DO THERE. *__*

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT= MARCONE NEEDS A DATE FOR HIS NIGHT CLUB OPENING, BONUS POINTS IF HARRY WINDS UP BLOWING THINGS UP, EXTRA BONUS POINTS IF THE NIGHT CLUB IS EXCLUSIVE AND ASIAN AND KAT-TUN IS GUEST-STARRING, WHAT, IT WAS HOYDEN'S IDEA OKAY.

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT = HARRY HAS TO INVESTIGATE A CRIME AT A GAY BAR, ENLISTS A RELUCTANT THOMAS TO COME ALONG AND PRETEND TO BE HIS "DATE" / PROTECT HIM FROM STALKERS/GHOSTS/HUSTLERS, GETS TO THE BAR ONLY TO FIND OUT IT'S ONE OF MARCONES. MARCONE IS THERE AND V V APPRECIATIVE. THOMAS IS LIKE "OH THANK GOD YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL BOYFRIEND *GOES HOME*" AND HARRY IS LEFT TO MARCONE'S MERCY. BONUS POINTS FOR HARRY GETTING FELT UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR TO A TECHNO MIX OF, WHAT ELSE, "GUNNING DOWN ROMANCE"

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT= SEX IN SMALL ENCLOSED PLACES: LIMOS, ELEVATORS, BOAT CABINS, OPERA BOXES *AHEM*, WALK-IN FREEZERS, IDK, ANYTHING.

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT= 2 MONETS AND A VAN GOGH

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT= HARRY HAS TO GHOST-HUNT AT THE ZOO; MARCONE IS VISITING THE TIGERS

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT=MARCONE GOES PET-SHOPPING, HARRY IS THE ONLY PERSON HE KNOWS WHO OWNS A PET, THEREFORE HE HAS TO COME ALONG

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT= MARCONE DECIDES HE SHOULD MEET THE FAMILY SO HE MAKES HARRY HAVE A DINNER PARTY. BONUS POINTS IF MARCONE AND BOB BOND, THOMAS NEARLY BITES HIM, AND MURPHY TRIES TO ARREST HIM

HARRY/MARCONE, PROMPT=ANYTHING WHERE THEY HAVE TO WEAR SUITS AND SLOW DANCE. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

RYO/UEDA, PROMPT= JOHNNY DECIDES THEME FOR THE NEXT NEW YEAR'S CONCERT IS GOING TO BE 'SHAKESPEARE', CASTS RYO AS ROMEO AND UEDA AS JULIET

AKAME, PROMPT= JE RELEASES A DATING VIDEO GAME STARRING ALL THE MEMBERS OF KAT-TUN AND NEWS, JIN PLAYS IT FOR WEEKS BUT CAN'T GET VIDEOGAME KAME TO DATE HIM; HIS FRUSTRATION GROWS; NO ONE WILL TELL HIM THE CHEAT CODE.

GAIUS/GAETA, PROMPT=LOL BUTTERFINGERS, PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS ALREADY CRACK FIC FOR THIS PROMPT, HOW CAN THERE NOT BE, BECAUSE BUTTERFINGERS.

DEVIL WEARS PRADA, PROMPT= ANDY GETS SENT TO BETHLEHEM ON ASSIGNMENT, MIRANDA DECIDES THAT THE ISRAEL/PALESTINE CONFLICT HAS TO END. BONUS POINTS IF THIS MEANS EMILY HAS TO PHONE PATRICK.

DEVIL WEARS PRADA, PROMPT=SOMEONE PUBLISHES AN EXPOSE ON RUNWAY, EVERYONE IS CONVINCED IT'S ANDY, ANDY HAS TO PLAY DETECTIVE TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS; HIJINKS ENSUE!

DEVIL WEARS PRADA, PROMPT= THE TWINS WANT TO LEARN TO SPEAK URDU. MIRANDA ENLISTS ANDY'S ASSISTANCE.

BONES, PROMPT=SWEETS FOR THE SWEET, AKA BONES/BOOTH/SWEETS, LIKE YOU EVEN NEED AN EXCUSE TO WRITE THIS, PLEASE.

SAMURAI CHAMPLOO, CROSSOVER, STARGATE, PROMPT= FUU GETS SUCKED THROUGH THE STARGATE, JIN/MUGEN HAVE TO GO TO ATLANTIS TO FIND HER. HIJINKS AND SWORDFIGHTS ENSUE. BONUS POINTS IF THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS FIC IS FOR FUU TO ACCRUE KNOWLEDGE OF THE PHRASE "GET A ROOM." TEN MILLION BONUS POINTS IF SHE APPLIES IT TO JIN AND MUGEN AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY.

______

i feel that the very existence of some of these prompts is enough to make you all fall to your knees and beg for the opportunity to write fic for me. oh yes. otherwise, you can tell me how much my prompts don't interest you in the slightest, and i will laugh at you cruelly! cruelly i say! seriously, i have given you an excuse to write Dean/Crowley, what more do you want from me.