i think i've basically lost my ability to function in the world without having some sort of hikaru-no-go-associated love attack once a day or so
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Don't even worry about it. Several of us are right there with you. Also, you promised me Saeki/Ashiwara flail and we have not had it yet and I really think we should because like... no one but doumeki ever writes it and it's too bad because it's so cute it just slays me?
no, see, i'm such a zealot about it. everyone needs to be converted. i sort of generally know when i'm being TOTALLY OBNOXIOUS about this sort of thing except this time i know and i'm just like 'god i don't even care why aren't you reading this series WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PLANET'. :(
ahaha uh, we really should chat soon, it's just ugggggh gtalk is so unfriendly, and also i'm going to bed shortly. but! uh. poor substitute for flail? did you already see this? ahaha i am sorry i am so lame. D:
you are so cheesy, god, i love it. this series is so cheesy, but it's so fucking serious too. ugh, it breaks my heart all the time.
i love you and i love hikago forever and ever and ever. i love sai and i love hikaru and i love akira, and they make me so happy and so sad, forever. :|
hikaru and akira are amazing. geniuses. two stars outshining the entire rest of the night sky. someday, together, they are going to change the face of go forever.
and one day, far, far in the future, hikaru is going to turn around and ask, one more time, "hey, how was i? sai." and this time, he will get an answer.
what a horrifying name kjfkgjdklfjkj it makes me think of team rocket
but ilu ilu ilu. I know you will always be there for me when I need to bawl about hikago, because it has just broken my heart for the seventy billionth time. :x
I can't say I will ever actually understand why Hikaru is not your favorite too. :| It just seems so obvious to me. That he is the best. The best person ever. The most important person ever.
I went through all the manga and saved every page that meant something to me. ...Which ended up with... well, hundreds. And I'm in the process of writing a pimping essay using every one of those images. It will be massive and shamelessly fangirly - if I ever get it done!
See, I totally get the transcendent appeal of the series, except where it moves and inspires and uplifts you, it moves and inspires and . . . depresses me. Like, I look at it and think it's really profound, but that profundity just makes me sad because it's all so transient and so satisfying it kind of breaks my heart, except that makes no sense even to me. I don't know. I'm anon-ing because I feel like way too many things make me sad in this kind of way, like the more I love something the more I somehow find it heartbreaking, it's so beautiful it goes through to the other side, almost . . . and, uh, this is why I haven't reread Hikaru no Go since I first finished reading it, five years ago. But I worry this is a crazy and counterproductive emotional response that only happens to me.
(You don't have to respond! This was kind of cathartic to get out in an embarrassing confessional anonymous way.)
*uses emo akame icon in a flaily show of solidarity*
i don't think that's a counterproductive emotional response at all. to see through to the other side of love, of great art and great emotional moments in our lives, to the profundity and the deep sadness of joy, because it is transient, because life does end - I think that's a really key emotional step to gaining maturity and learning how to be an adult. Because it helps us recognize that life goes on despite euphoria, just as despite heartbreak. And helps us recognize, maybe ultimately tragically, that life will end, so we have to find meaning in every day we live, as often as we can. That's definitely something Hikago reminds me of daily. And it's not necessarily joyous. But it is sublime
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this entire comment makes no sense because i'm just blubberingarboretumMay 13 2008, 06:02:12 UTC
um, I was nodding along, nodding along, agreeing with you all the way up until that last paragraph, when I burst into tears. great. thanks. fjgdfg.
I don't think I will ever really get over how deep a wound sai leaves when he disappears. it's not just. I mean. it's really not just about someone dying. not just about never being able to see someone you love again. it's all that and this sudden, stark sense of profound aloneness, and I'm so glad that kawai-san went with hikaru on that trip to innoshima, but even despite his presence, hikaru is so, so alone, all of a sudden, without sai. and there is nobody to grieve with him. and that hurts so much ugh, I can't even. I. ugh. that's why it makes me so happy (ahaha when I blink through my tears ahahaha) when akira finally finds sai. it's just. it's like hikaru has been in the dark ever since sai left, and he's pulled himself together, decided he has to keep going, and then suddenly, someone opens the door.
Re: this entire comment makes no sense because i'm just blubberingbookshopMay 13 2008, 06:23:53 UTC
GOD I HATE YOU :((
and then suddenly, someone opens the door
you know I just read that scene tonight and I stared and stared and stared at those pages. every time i read that scene i forget how intense that moment is - how completely hikaru's mind is blown. and how intense those panels are - how it's just the most incredible unexpected and earth-shattering moment for him.
i always have this akira filter going, and for akira the whole game is the opening door, because he's been waiting so long. Even when he finds Sai, he doesn't *know* - which makes it all the more profound when he stops looking for Sai because Hikaru is his love and Hikaru is enough. He doesn't know that his search is over; all he knows is that he's got Hikaru, and he's not alone, and this is what he's wanted.
and I think that's why, for me, the moment he reaffirms to himself during the hokuto that his trust in hikaru is enough is the most powerful illustration of the bond they have in the entire manga. it's just an act of such faith. oh touya :((
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god seriously. i'm like, oh, so this is how Trekkies feel.....
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no, see, i'm such a zealot about it. everyone needs to be converted. i sort of generally know when i'm being TOTALLY OBNOXIOUS about this sort of thing except this time i know and i'm just like 'god i don't even care why aren't you reading this series WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PLANET'. :(
ahaha uh, we really should chat soon, it's just ugggggh gtalk is so unfriendly, and also i'm going to bed shortly. but! uh. poor substitute for flail? did you already see this? ahaha i am sorry i am so lame. D:
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i love you and i love hikago forever and ever and ever. i love sai and i love hikaru and i love akira, and they make me so happy and so sad, forever. :|
hikaru and akira are amazing. geniuses. two stars outshining the entire rest of the night sky. someday, together, they are going to change the face of go forever.
and one day, far, far in the future, hikaru is going to turn around and ask, one more time, "hey, how was i? sai." and this time, he will get an answer.
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oh my god. :(
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god seriously i just love having you on TEAM EPIC with me beyond words. :( :( :(
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but ilu ilu ilu. I know you will always be there for me when I need to bawl about hikago, because it has just broken my heart for the seventy billionth time. :x
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OH WHATEVER
I can't say I will ever actually understand why Hikaru is not your favorite too. :| It just seems so obvious to me. That he is the best. The best person ever. The most important person ever.
God pot kettle.
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I really hope you do and that you will link me to it when you're done, because it really just. just needs everyone ever to read it. :(
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god i seriously cannot wait. :)
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(You don't have to respond! This was kind of cathartic to get out in an embarrassing confessional anonymous way.)
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oh god no i just like. :( :( :(
*uses emo akame icon in a flaily show of solidarity*
i don't think that's a counterproductive emotional response at all. to see through to the other side of love, of great art and great emotional moments in our lives, to the profundity and the deep sadness of joy, because it is transient, because life does end - I think that's a really key emotional step to gaining maturity and learning how to be an adult. Because it helps us recognize that life goes on despite euphoria, just as despite heartbreak. And helps us recognize, maybe ultimately tragically, that life will end, so we have to find meaning in every day we live, as often as we can. That's definitely something Hikago reminds me of daily. And it's not necessarily joyous. But it is sublime ( ... )
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I don't think I will ever really get over how deep a wound sai leaves when he disappears. it's not just. I mean. it's really not just about someone dying. not just about never being able to see someone you love again. it's all that and this sudden, stark sense of profound aloneness, and I'm so glad that kawai-san went with hikaru on that trip to innoshima, but even despite his presence, hikaru is so, so alone, all of a sudden, without sai. and there is nobody to grieve with him. and that hurts so much ugh, I can't even. I. ugh. that's why it makes me so happy (ahaha when I blink through my tears ahahaha) when akira finally finds sai. it's just. it's like hikaru has been in the dark ever since sai left, and he's pulled himself together, decided he has to keep going, and then suddenly, someone opens the door.
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GOD I HATE YOU :((
and then suddenly, someone opens the door
you know I just read that scene tonight and I stared and stared and stared at those pages. every time i read that scene i forget how intense that moment is - how completely hikaru's mind is blown. and how intense those panels are - how it's just the most incredible unexpected and earth-shattering moment for him.
i always have this akira filter going, and for akira the whole game is the opening door, because he's been waiting so long. Even when he finds Sai, he doesn't *know* - which makes it all the more profound when he stops looking for Sai because Hikaru is his love and Hikaru is enough. He doesn't know that his search is over; all he knows is that he's got Hikaru, and he's not alone, and this is what he's wanted.
and I think that's why, for me, the moment he reaffirms to himself during the hokuto that his trust in hikaru is enough is the most powerful illustration of the bond they have in the entire manga. it's just an act of such faith. oh touya :((
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