Just checking in...
Hello Everyone!
I hope all the Americans are enjoying their Thanksgiving weekend, and everyone else is...well, enjoying their regular weekend. :)
Heidi and I made dinner for the kids yesterday, and we were joined by her oldest son's girlfriend, who is just a lovely young woman, and always a joy to have around. Lots of turkey, stuffing, potatoes, yams, apple-and-banana salad, crescent rolls, and three different kinds of pie were consumed. My stomach still hurts! LOL.
Now for the yucky part....
About a month ago, I got laid off at the rink. You all know how much I loved my job (to the point that it kept me from writing, which you all know is important to me, so I must have REALLY loved the job). The thing is, if it made sense I wouldn't be upset. But I am upset. I believe I was discriminated against.
Not by men. By a woman.
That's what's so hard to figure out about all this. There's a woman at the rink (for sh*ts and giggles, let's call her "Sue") who has been there for about ten years., longer than anyone else. At the rink we called it "getting thrown under the bus" if anyone got someone else in trouble, either by going to the GM or to the owner. The GM and the owner have a habit of listening to the first story they hear and never checking actual facts, nor do they care about getting the other person's side of the story. I had never worried about this, because it hadn't affected me. But some odd things started happening, all of which originated from Sue. And it wasn't just about me.
I had been told that Sue doesn't like women and manages to either drive away or get fired every woman who's ever worked at the rink. I hear things like that and laugh because (a) they're so ridiculous (what is this, high school?) and (b) I take that as a challenge. Like bring it on, bitch...I'm not leaving!
Well, Sue threw me under the bus.
Oh, sure, I was told by Mike (the GM and the guy who hired me, who's been my friend for 23 years) that I was being let go for "budget reasons." I could see that if it was summer and our season had just ended. But it was just beginning and I was soooo excited. I was absolutely ecstatic about being around hockey again; plus Heidi and I have made some very good friends (male and female) that we are having an absolute blast hanging out with. In fact, on Thursdays, there's a group of former junior players and pros who play and they invited us to come to their games. We'd go and it would be just us in the rink. You hockey fans will understand: imagine getting a private game played for you every week! No outside fan noise, no music, not even a scoreboard...but the sound of blades against ice, the puck slamming against the post or the sticks or the boards, the swearing (lol), the mistakes, and the great goals and skating and passing and shooting. It's practically orgasmic for a hockey fan like me. One of our friends has, literally, the hardest, nastiest slap shot I've ever seen; even the guys who play with him and against him say they just duck and get out of the way when he winds up. It's so fun to watch them play our private game every week.
Well, it was.
Adding to the fact that we got a private game every week, we also got invited into the locker room. Yes, there was some nudity (lol). But hey, even though we're a female couple, we were married to men. We've seen the equipment before; no big deal. We weren't sure if the other guys who didn't know us that well would care, but most of them don't. They either dress discreetly while we look away, or they go into the showers to dress. No one's offended, and no one cares. (In fact, I think some of the guys get a kick out of it.)
But Sue was there last week. And Sue had to have snooped to even know we were in the locker room.
I literally got screamed at by Mike on my cell phone, almost to the point of hanging up on him (and remember, this guy has been my friend for 23 years). Heidi called a couple of the guys to tell them, and they were pissed that Mike won't let us in the locker room any more. We had been planning to make the guys a Thanksgiving breakfast (they were going to do a morning skate because of the holiday), but that got shelved.
Long story short, because Sue is so vengeful and angry and bitter and cannot deal with problems in her own life (her son committed suicide two years ago, and she was back to work two days later and never got therapy), she takes it out on everyone around her. And Mike and the owner let her run wild, believing her stories and never letting anyone defend themselves or even explain their side. And I got punished when I don't even work there anymore. And to add to that, she punished all the hockey players (literally several hundred guys play at this rink) by invoking the 'no alcohol' rule. Everyone brings in beer on game nights, and it stays in the locker rooms, and the management turns a blind eye. But I happened to be there with Heidi, and *gasp!* there was alcohol. And Sue went batshit, blaming us.
Fair? I think not.
Now, please know that I do not scream "discrimination" lightly. I belonged to unions for over 25 years and filed two....2...grievances in all that time (one was a group one that I joined). This just feels like sixth grade all over again, when I won the spelling championship, and they decided to have so-winners because the previous winners had all been boys, and then here comes this....GIRL...who upsets the apple cart. The reason I was given for the "co-winners" decision was because "Rob (the boy winner) would feel bad." Well, what about all the girls who had finished second all the previous years? Didn't they feel bad too?
So, it appears Sue won. I'm not banned from the rink but it's obvious I am not welcome, at least for a while. I can't watch my friends skate...wtf??? And I can't file a lawsuit because she wasn't my supervisor. The EEOC says that if you have difficulties with a coworker, it's "personality-driven." It's only if the person out to get you is your supervisor, then you can file a grievance.
Once again, fair? I think not.
I do plan to pursue this matter, with Mike and the owner.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent..
Carol