Supernatural Fic: Some Dreaming State, (8.2/8)
Part 2 of Chapter 8. The End!
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7| Part 8.1
Part 8.2
Dean wasn't sure what he had expected from bonding his soul irrevocably to Cas. For the first few minutes, it was oddly anticlimactic.
He had half-hoped that the touching and the deep-voiced 'close your eyes' had been the prelude to a kiss, but there was no sudden invasion of his space. Well, none more so than usual. Dean felt a stab of disappointment, but tried to push it down. It was fine if Cas didn't want to kiss him. Totally fine.
Dean wasn't going to make having sex with him one of Castiel's duties. If they went there, it would be because they both wanted to and not just 'if you wish'.
The next sensation was one he half-remembered, both from the sewers and from diving back in to drag Cas out. He’d been in too much pain the first time to remember much and too worried the second time to really take note of the sensations.
It was like being submerged in warm, breathable water; Dean still felt the urge to panic and try to rise above the surface, but Castiel sent waves of reassurance. Dean wouldn't drown, as long as he trusted Cas. Dean did, but he was still human and underwater and-
He breathed in deeply, striving for calm.
"I need you to let me in, Dean," Castiel said. Warm puffs of air passed over Dean's lips. Dean shivered. "I can't do this unless you relax."
Dean chuckled, more hysteria than humor.
"Buddy, we need to get you some better porn," he said. He could feel Castiel's confusion and he tried to let it in, dropping his defenses and fumbling along the line of Castiel's emotions to find the source. Dean felt himself make contact with something and he had a brief moment of 'yeah, found it' before he was completely overwhelmed.
Castiel touching him had been like sliding into a warm bath. The surface had been just a foot or so above his head. This was like having several tons of weight strapped to his neck and then being thrown into the deepest, warmest part of the ocean. Before he even realized what was happening, he was in too deep and still sinking.
Then Castiel's emotions hit him. At once, Dean could feel the angel's awe, his joy, his guilt, and his determination. As he was falling deeper into Cas, he could feel the angel diving deeper into him. Cas was experiencing Dean's fear and his stubbornness, his uncertainty and his satisfaction.
Then he reached the mark Hell had left on Dean.
Dean felt suddenly chilled as Castiel went through the memories of a time when Dean had been his weakest and most desperate. Dean could once again taste the shame and the blood on his tongue, his horror and his sick joy at being the one off the rack and the guilt that still swamped him if he dwelled too much on what he had become in the Pit.
Castiel paused, examining the darkness carefully. Dean tried to usher him along, not wanting Cas to look too closely at what he himself refused to face, but Castiel didn't budge. The angel traced each mental scar with what felt like pure light and the glow seeped into the cracks, soothing them and filling them in as though Dean's soul was a wall and all gouges could be fixed with enough spackle.
The light spread, the different scars connecting to form a net over the darkness and then sinking into it. The net suddenly exploded and Dean gasped, short of breath, as all of Hell was illuminated for a split second and then obscured by the white light. It flashed only for an instant, but for that moment all Dean knew was peace. The light seemed to take his burdens with it and he was suspended in the space between heartbeats, like drifting in zero-gravity.
When the glow faded and memories of the Pit eased back in, like particularly stubborn mold showing through a new coat of paint, it wasn't as dark as before. The full heft of the memories didn't return, even if Dean didn't feel as weightless as he had during the light show.
"... the hell did you do?" Dean breathed, not opening his eyes.
"I made your burdens a little bit lighter," Castiel replied. He seemed even closer now than he had been when they had started, though Dean wasn't sure if that was just the intimacy of the moment. Dean wanted to ask more, but his voice caught in his throat. Cas was still going further, aiming for the very heart of what made Dean Dean. The angel was heading directly for the place where Dean had buried his resentment of his father, the terror that those he loved would always leave him, the belief that he wasn't good enough to keep anyone, and, most powerful of all, the love he had for everyone he considered family. Sam, Bobby, his dad, and his mom were all there in a mix of protectiveness, respect, grief, longing, and endless amounts of affection. Ellen, Jo, Lisa, and Ben all had a presence there too, though with a great deal more guilt.
And then there was Cas.
Cas didn't fit in any category. He wasn't Sam or Bobby and he wasn't Lisa or Ellen either. Castiel was in a category all his own, bound up in so many emotions and so many things Dean tried not to think about. Respect, possessiveness, yearning, resignation, lust, affection, guilt. Traces of other things Dean had no names for, adding up to something he hadn't dared to label. He felt Castiel go unnaturally still as Cas realized exactly what Dean's emotions meant.
Dean threw himself into sinking into the rest of Castiel's emotions. He saw the murder of angels through Castiel's eyes, the sorrow and the guilt that came with each new kill until sorrow was numb and guilt had multiplied so much the exact amount no longer mattered. He felt the strain of the war in Heaven, the conviction that he was doing right, and the gut-tearing pain of betrayal and loss as Cas walked into a ring of holy fire.
He saw himself raking leaves and the scene was permeated with the sense that this was what he was protecting. The Earth, for Dean. By himself, so Dean could have a normal life. With Crowley, so he stood a chance of coming back to Dean even if he never showed himself to the human again. DeanDeanDean.
Cas tried to gently steer him away from the recollections, but Dean clung to them, determined to see them through. It was like listening to a list of his own sins, every time he had ignored or used Cas while the angel was struggling with something much bigger and badder than he was. Guilt surrounded Dean and for a moment he thought it was his own, but then he realized that Cas was the source. Dean's own stomach churned with both the emotion and the realization and he gathered up Castiel's guilt over the episode and poured his understanding into it, trying to imagine his emotions as the same white light that had briefly blocked out Hell for him.
Dean got it now. He understood.
He felt Castiel's wonder as the guilt shrank and faded, but just like the scars Dean still carried, it didn't disappear entirely. Dean let it go.
He hit bottom.
Quite suddenly, all that made up Castiel was everywhere around Dean, surrounding him completely and drowning him in intensity. The sensations were overwhelming and Dean couldn't even identify the emotions swirling around him, too caught up in the sheer force of them to note the flavor. It really was like being miles beneath the ocean's surface and the pressure was crushing him.
"Dean, breathe."
Dean gulped for air, reaching out for Cas. He didn't realize he was doing it physically as well as mentally until he grabbed real shoulders and dug his fingers into the material of Castiel's borrowed Tshirt. The world stabilized around him and he was no longer being smothered, though he was still miles beneath the ocean surface. Castiel slowly put his hands on Dean's waist, holding him steady.
Dean suddenly understood what the emotions were that surrounded him. Castiel's core was made up of peace, love, and stubbornness. Dean almost choked on his laughter. The tranquility was strange and had more than a few traces of unrest, but it was like seeing where a centuries-old coral reef had been damaged and watching new growth fill in the breaks. The new coral fit but fundamentally changed the reef. The love was unlike any Dean had ever felt, distant and almost cold. There was the respect and awe of God mixed in there, the fascination and love for humanity as a whole, and the angel’s love for his brothers. The last was similar to how a human might care for a cousin they rarely saw.
The stubbornness was pure Castiel, determination that Dean knew was twin to his own. He ignored the stab of his own disappointment when he found nothing else here, at the place where everything that made up the angel's foundations hid. There was no trace of himself or Sam or Bobby, nor any of the other angels Dean had thought Cas was close to. If not for the hints of unrest and the stubbornness, this could be the core of any angel.
There was no trace of Jimmy anywhere in this ocean. Somehow, Dean knew he’d sense it if there was. He briefly wondered what had happened to the man that had given up his body to an angel, then just as quickly decided that he didn’t want to know.
A part of him, larger than Dean would like to admit, was relieved that Cas was alone in his body. Well, alone except for the madness.
If anything happened, Dean wouldn’t need to feel guilty about what Jimmy would think.
"Is this it, then?" Dean asked, eyes still closed. His voice didn't shake and he congratulated himself.
"No. There are still some things you need to see," Castiel said gently. Dean felt the emotions around him shift, like the current brushing away some of the sandy floor to reveal a treasure chest. Dean felt abruptly warmer and he furrowed his eyebrows, cautiously following the sensation. At the end of the line, he found feelings as familiar to him as the tranquility and love had been alien and he breathed in sharply.
Here was everything Dean had thought was missing. Here was what differentiated Cas from Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Dean was hit by waves of warm affection, camaraderie, trust, and respect. Balthazar. Sam. Bobby. Himself.
The emotions themselves seemed to react to Dean's presence, wrapping around him and drawing him in, down, to another level he hadn't even realized existed. He gasped a little as he realized that what he had taken as Castiel's heart had simply been covering the real bottom layer. Castiel's feelings for his adopted family were like a gateway, a fissure in the bottom of the ocean leading directly to the world’s core.
There were still elements of his angelic nature, but rather than 'family' being relegated to a small area, the two were equal and entwined perfectly. Most overwhelming, though, was an emotion both like and unlike anything Dean had ever felt before.
The emotion was protectiveness and possessiveness and affection and secrecy and want, all balled up together. It was endless and powerful and frightening, but somehow comforting and steady as well. Dean could trust this to be there forever; he got the distinct impression that not even Death himself would be able to destroy it.
And it was all DeanDeanDean.
It glowed golden and then the light was surrounding Dean and cradled him, then sunk into him. The connection between Dean and Castiel suddenly sharpened, like a somewhat fuzzy picture going into high-definition. Dean was no longer just Dean, he was DeanandCas and he could feel his hands on his arms, his hands on his waist, his love, his grief, his lust. There was no separation between Dean and Castiel and their emotions pooled and mixed, outer layers and inner layers and then, finally, the core of what made each of them up touched and melded. Dean lost track of the little bit of mixed-up physical reality he had been holding on to.
They could have stayed like that for hours or minutes and neither would have been able to tell. There was nothing except for the combination of them, what they felt, what drove them, how they felt for one another.
Finally, the cocoon of the bond slowly unraveled and Dean and Castiel slowly separated into their own bodies. Dean became aware of his hands still gripping Cas's shoulders and Castiel's hands on Dean's hips. Dean was breathing heavily and his body shook. His only consolation that Cas was also faintly trembling, like he hadn't quite expected the intensity of the experience either.
"That's how I make you feel?" Dean croaked, recalling what he had found in the deepest part of Castiel. It had been frightening and overpowering, to see exactly how much he meant to a freakin' Angel of the Lord, and it made what Dean had kept hidden in his own heart pale in comparison.
Sensing the thought, Castiel suddenly clutched Dean's emotions tightly to himself as though protecting them from Dean's sense of unworthiness. Castiel held Dean's feelings like they were the most precious things in the world and Dean had the shocking realization that, to Castiel, they might very well be. Dean thought it was rather like comparing shards of broken glass to a flawless, fist-sized diamond, but because the glass shards were Dean's, Castiel was more than prepared to trade.
"Do not belittle yourself, Dean," Castiel said, voice an odd mix of soothing and warning. "Your feelings for me are no less powerful than what I feel for you. No two beings experience love the same way."
"Cas, I'm not-" Dean said, but the words caught in his throat. Even now, when he knew Cas could still feel everything he was feeling, he couldn't say the words. Castiel moved in closer, both physically and mentally, and placed one hand on the back of Dean's neck.
"You are worth everything I have done for you, Dean Winchester," he said, and pulled Dean in for a kiss. Dean went with it, nervous anticipation prickling his skin rather than surprise. The technique was rough, unpolished, but Dean could taste the underlying tenderness on his tongue. There was passion too, boiling inside Castiel and Dean chased the flavor deeper into the angel's mouth. Castiel tilted his head and surged against Dean, all nerves and excitement and desire to match Dean's own.
Dean pulled away to breathe, leaning his forehead against Castiel's so they'd lose as little contact as possible. Arousal was thrumming through his veins and pooling low in his body and he could feel his state mirrored in Castiel. The angel didn't move, waiting to take his cue from Dean.
"Are we doing this?" Dean asked, more than half-certain of the answer. The bond was still unwinding slowly from their union and he frowned, burrowing deeper into Castiel's emotions. Cas knew what he was looking for and brought it to the surface, allowing his feelings for Dean to flood their mental landscape. Dean drank them in greedily. "Fuck yes, we're doing this."
Lust sparked in both men, running like fire over the bond and growing, returning to both to hit them tenfold. Dean gasped as pleasure ignited his body and Castiel captured his mouth again, nipping gently at his lower lip. The angel's hands slid up underneath Dean's shirt, running over the skin possessively before returning to the hem and trying to yank the shirt off.
Dean shifted his arms to help and then busied his hands with touching Castiel everywhere he could, slipping under the material of his shirt to rake his nails lightly over the soft skin. The angel dropped Dean’s off the side of the bed, radiating approval with a slightly wistful edge.
Dean paused. He swallowed heavily, feeling oddly nervous as he reached inside of himself for all the things he kept buried. He took a deep breath and brought them to the forefront of his mind, just as Castiel had done, and shoved the whole mess quickly across the bond to the angel.
Castiel inhaled sharply.
"Dean," he said, voice reverent and totally wrecked, and Dean would give anything to hear his name said just like that, in that voice, a thousand times more.
"Yeah, I know," Dean said, pressing his mouth to the bared flesh of Castiel's throat. He kissed and mouthed at the skin, nibbling lightly at a particularly delectable patch and then laving the mark with his tongue. He pulled the hem of Cas’s shirt up. “Let’s get this off.”
Cas leaned back and lifted his arms, allowed Dean to pull off the garment. The angel immediately tugged Dean back in for a kiss and moved forward, climbing partially into Dean’s lap.
Dean could sense Castiel's inexperience in every slow touch, not exactly hesitant but not confident either, like he had been handed a manual saying 'this is how you do sex' and he was trying to follow it step by step. Or maybe he was just going off of what he had observed of humanity.
His hands wandered up and down Dean's chest in some kind of pattern, body arching against Dean and his erection pressing against Dean's abdomen through his pants. Dean's cock was rubbing against Castiel's ass and he groaned, rolling his hips into the contact.
Castiel began nipping and sucking on Dean's neck, high enough that no popped collar would cover it.
"That'll bruise," he warned Cas, hissing at one particularly vicious nip before tilting his head to allow the angel more access. Dean slid his hands low on Castiel's body, cupping his ass and using the hold to pull him even closer.
"I want it to," Castiel said, voice thick with arousal as he rocked against Dean. He made a tiny, pleased noise in the back of his throat at the friction. "And the idea doesn't displease you."
Dean was positively radiating lust, so he had to admit the angel was right. Castiel's right hand moved to grip Dean's left shoulder and he squeezed, fingers digging in exactly where Dean's burn scar used to be. Dean swallowed thickly, experiencing Castiel's sense of loss as if it were his own.
"Bruise is a little less permanent than a burn," Dean said. He kissed Cas softly, but with his mouth open and tongue sliding along the inside of Castiel's lips. Cas responded eagerly, taking control of it and licking into Dean's mouth. Dean's voice was breathy when he spoke next. "You'll need to make a new one every time it heals."
"I intend to," Castiel said, putting to rest any fears Dean might've had about the physical part of bonding being a one time thing brought on by the heat of the moment.
Dean set his hands to work getting Castiel's pants open, first pulling the belt free and then the button and zipper. Castiel moaned at the sudden freedom, his cock distending the front of his underwear. Dean slipped a hand inside the loosened jeans, stroking the hard flesh and pressing light kisses to the angel's face as he bucked into the touch.
"How far do you want to go?" Dean asked, rocking his hips into Castiel's ass in time to the strokes of his hand. Castiel tried to match his rhythm, though his body jerked more erratically as pleasure overtook his senses.
"I want everything, Dean," Castiel said. Dean shuddered at the sound, seeing himself on his back in bed, knees pressed to his chest and Castiel in between, fucking him open in long, slow strokes. Or on his elbows and knees, Cas bent over his back and pressing soft kisses to every available patch of skin, bodies moving in concert. Or maybe it would be Cas on his back, legs bent for support as Dean slowly sank down onto his cock-
It took Dean a moment to realize that those weren't his fantasies. He was hard and leaking, precome dampening his underwear, and his hand had stopped moving.
"Is that what you want?" Dean asked, feeling his arousal ratchet up another notch. He rarely fucked men and when he did, he never bottomed. The idea had simply never appealed to him, but here, now... fuck.
"Yes," Castiel said, nearly attacking Dean's mouth. "Yes."
Dean tore his hands away from Castiel's body and began quickly unbuttoning his own pants. He groaned into the kiss as his cock was freed from the confines of the denim.
"We need to be a lot more naked, then," he said, giving tacit permission. He ushered Castiel off of his lap, both reluctant to part but knowing the necessity. Dean shucked his jeans, this time groaning in frustration as he realized he still had his shoes on. His fingers trembled with excitement as he tugged at the laces, making the task slow and difficult. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Cas mimicking his movements, in much the same state as Dean. After a minute, sixty too-long seconds, Dean had both of his shoes off, as well as his socks. He kicked off his jeans and boxers and turned back to Castiel, now completely naked.
Cas was just removing the last of his clothing.
Miles of bare skin were on display, more being revealed by the second and Dean couldn't look away. His eyes traced the curve of Castiel's backside, the planes of the angel's chest he hadn't taken the time to appreciate properly when he had first undressed Cas, and the erection hanging red and thick between Castiel's thighs. His mouth went dry and his cock twitched with interest.
He scooted closer to Cas, ending up partially behind the angel on the bed and pressing kisses to his shoulder blade, his shoulder, the base and nape of his neck. Cas seemed so small like this; naked, hard and aching, and wanting Dean. An Angel of the Lord, complete with wings and the ability to smite just about anything, reduced to a trembling mass of need because of him.
Dean kissed up the side of Castiel's neck, bringing his hand slowly around Cas's hip to wrap around his cock. Cas grunted, his pleasure spiking through to Dean, and arched his hips into the touch. He leaned back against Dean, moaning quietly as Dean stroked him. Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder, looking down along the line of Cas's body to where his hand pulled along sensitive flesh. There was a faint flush to Castiel's pale skin, his chest heaving with breaths he didn't actually need.
"Fuck, Cas, you're beautiful like this," Dean said. They were words he'd used before in similar scenarios, but they felt different leaving his tongue this time around. They seemed more and less honest, somehow; more, because he had never seen a sight that affected him the way this did, his hand sliding wetly over Castiel's cock as the angel trembled with foreign sensations, and less because this was not what Cas really looked like. Dean was holding and touching and kissing a vessel, albeit one that was empty except for Castiel. It wasn't actually his angel.
Dean wondered what it would be like to do this with the real Castiel, if that was even possible outside of in their heads. Would the bond let him see and hear the real Castiel without his eyeballs burning out or his eardrums exploding? Would he be able to touch Cas's real form, the wave of celestial whatever, without getting incinerated?
What would it be like to be in bed with something that powerful?
Dean groaned at the thought. Hell, he hadn't even known that was a turn-on for him. He already knew he loved it when his partners took charge and showed him how much and where they wanted him, but that wasn't quite on the same level as fantasizing about fucking something that could smite him with barely a thought.
Dean moved his free hand to his heretofore neglected cock and began stroking himself in time to the motions of his hand on Castiel. He could come just like this and he wouldn't regret a thing.
"Dean," Castiel moaned. Cas turned his head, lips brushing against Dean's cheek when he spoke. "Dean."
There was a sudden outpouring of love, desire, and wonder from Castiel and Dean stilled, trembling with the force of it.
"How much of that did you see?" he asked, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Castiel's lips.
"Everything." A hint of regret colored the bond for a moment. "What you want... it's not possible, Dean. I have no physical body in my true form."
"Yeah, I figured," Dean said. He felt faintly disappointed, but he quelled it by recalling just how good consummating the bond had felt. It hadn't been physical pleasure, but something entirely different and peaceful and if they could do that again-
Cas turned in Dean's hold, capturing Dean's mouth and running his hands over Dean's chest. Waves of affection and joy and desire for something far less earthly than sex hit Dean and he groaned, allowing Cas to gently push him onto his back in the bed. Cas was still kissing him, hot and wet and goddamnit, there was no way he could be this good just from watching porn.
"That, we can do over and over again," Cas said into Dean's mouth, answering the human's unspoken question about the joining of their minds. "But Dean, this body is just as much mine as it was Jimmy's. For all intents and purposes, this is what I look like when I'm on Earth. There is no shame in wanting me like this."
Dean kissed him again. He usually didn't enjoy kissing quite this much; usually kisses were just the prelude to hot and sweaty satisfaction and they never meant quite as much before as they did now. He lifted his hips and pressed his body against Castiel's, moaning softly when Cas ground down against him.
He wasn't going to last much longer, not when he was experiencing not only his own pleasure, but Castiel's as well. Time to move on.
"We need lube," Dean said, breaking the kiss. "I've got some in my bag, just let me - fuck."
Cas had slipped an arm in-between their bodies and was running an exploratory hand over Dean's leaking cock and his scrotum. Dean's hips jerked into the touches, hints of Castiel's satisfaction and arousal sparking through his brain. Cas moved his hand back, dragging his fingers lightly over the sensitive skin behind Dean's sac, leading into the cleft of his ass. Dean involuntarily tensed as he felt the tips of those fingers brush the entrance to his body, not pressing into the ring of muscle but just circling it carefully. Cas stilled when he felt Dean's unease and Dean shut his eyes, as if that would somehow prevent him from having to feel Cas's confusion.
"Get off for a second. Let me get the lube," Dean said, reaching down and squeezing Castiel's hip lightly in an attempt to be reassuring. Cas nodded and rolled off of Dean, still projecting uncertainty and lust slightly tempered by Dean's own mixed feelings. Dean got off of the bed and walked quickly over to his duffle bag, unzipping the side pocket to get at the small bottle of lubricant he kept in there. He could feel Castiel's eyes on him the whole way. He briefly debated grabbing condoms as well, but he was clean and Cas was a freaking Angel of the Lord; he doubted he needed to worry about STDs and the fact that they were both male kept pregnancy from being a worry.
"Dean," Cas said, just as Dean turned back to the bed. "We don't need to do anything you don't want to."
Dean could tell he meant it, too. He could take the lube back to the bed, open Cas up and fuck him and Cas would enjoy it. Castiel wouldn't even mind the change; all he wanted was to be as close as physically possible to Dean. Just the thought of Cas on his back, sweaty and flushed and bucking into every thrust of Dean's hips was almost enough to undo him. Cas would be tight and hot and he'd have his first ever orgasm on Dean's cock...
Dean breathed deeply. If he allowed himself to fantasize about that possible chain of events, then the fun out be over before it really began.
He thought about the fantasies he had seen in Castiel's head, almost surprised when he realized that his reaction to them was just as strong as it had been earlier. He'd never been fucked before, hadn’t even realized it was something he wanted, but here, now, with Cas, it sounded like a fucking fantastic idea.
What would it be like to let Cas touch him where no one else had ever been allowed? Physically, not just emotionally?
"Dean?" Cas asked. Dean walked back to the bed, smirking to hide his trepidation. Castiel's eyes roamed over his body with undisguised desire and a near-reverence that would have taken Dean's breath away if he had let it. Dean climbed onto the mattress and swung one leg over Castiel's body, straddling his hips. Cas's hands came up automatically to steady him and Dean caught one, pressing the small tube into the angel's palm. Dean leaned over, kissing Castiel hungrily and hoping Cas couldn't taste his nervous excitement.
"Fuck me," he said against Castiel's mouth. He broke away to press kisses along Cas's stubble-covered jaw line and ground down against the erection he could feel against his ass. He was gratified when Cas breathed in sharply and bucked up into the friction. "I want you in me, Cas."
Cas grabbed the back of Dean's head and pulled him back for another wet kiss. When the kiss broke for air, Cas didn't ask in words if Dean was sure. He slid his hand off of Dean's neck and pushed Dean up a bit, gently, until Dean was kneeling over the angel. Cas scooted back a bit so that his thighs, rather than his hips, were in-between Dean's legs and he sat up as well.
He kissed Dean again, softly, and Dean shut his eyes as he heard the familiar snap of the lube bottle being opened. He spread his legs wider, leaning a bit of weight on Castiel's chest so he'd be close enough for Cas to get his slick fingers where he had to.
Dean could remember doing this to other guys, the initial tightness and the discomfort if the dude taking it was too tense. He relaxed and breathed deeply, waiting and wondering what it would feel like to be the one getting prepared for once.
Dean shivered as an arm slid around his waist and wet fingers ran along the curve of one of his buttcheeks to the cleft in between. He mouthed at Castiel's neck as the fingers slid along his entrance, stimulating the nerves and increasing both Dean's arousal and his trepidation. Cas didn't push his fingers into Dean, not yet, just touched him and stroked soothing patterns on his side with his other hand. It was a trick Dean had used sometimes; tease lightly, get his partner comfortable, then stretch him nice and slow.
Dean relaxed under the touches and then Cas concentrated on just around the ring of muscle leading into Dean's body. He pressed his fingers lightly against it, still not going in but on the verge. It was a silent request for permission, asking without words whether or not this was really what Dean wanted.
"Do it," Dean said, voice thick. His breathing stuttered in his chest when Cas complied, sticking just the tip of one of his fingers into Dean. Dean tensed and Cas immediately withdrew his hand, radiating uncertainty. Dean shook his head and Cas stopped, his hand resting on Dean's hip.
"Dean," he began, but Dean cut him off.
"I want this," he insisted, moving back to look Cas directly in the eye. He shifted a bit to get his arm out from between their bodies. He grabbed Castiel's hand and tugged it back to his ass, holding onto the back of it and trying to press one of the angel's fingers against his entrance. "I was just surprised, all right?"
"If you'd be more comfortable-" Cas started, but Dean shook his head again, more violently this time.
"Open me up, Cas," Dean said, pushing against their joined hands. "I want you to fingerfuck me and get me ready for you. I want you to stretch me open just enough so that, when I finally take your cock, I feel every inch of it inside me. It want it to hurt, I want to be feeling it for the next week."
The dirtytalk had the desired effect. If nothing else, it made Dean more confident, though doubts and nervousness still churned his stomach. Castiel's unease seemed to have vanished. The angel's pupils dilated and he pressed his finger into Dean once more. Dean breathed deeply and tried to stay relaxed, shifting a bit at the unfamiliar sensation. It didn't hurt, just felt very strange.
Castiel rotated his finger, caressing the sensitive inner walls of Dean's body. He drew his finger out a bit and pushed it back in, his knuckle brushing against the rim. Dean shuddered, spreading his legs a bit wider unconsciously. He was starting to see why some guys enjoyed this.
Cas pulled his finger out and then there were two sliding back into Dean. That did hurt a bit and Dean rested his forehead against Castiel's shoulder. The pain was nothing compared to injuries Dean had had before, but this was different.
Cas pressed butterfly kisses over whatever parts of Dean he could reach with his mouth, scissoring his fingers. He drew the digits out, keeping them spread so the tight ring of muscle would loosen, before plunging them back in.
"Fuck," Dean breathed. Cas repeated the action a few times, changing the angle of his hand and his fingers to drag over new skin. Dean was actually starting to feel empty every time the fingers slid out and damn, he hadn't known bottoming was like this. His hand had slid to Castiel's wrist at some point and dropped off completely when Cas pulled his fingers all the way out. Dean made a small noise in the back of his throat that he would deny was a protest, only to be soothed when Cas coated three of his fingers with lube and moved his hand back to Dean's ass. Cas slid all three in, shallowly at first, and there was the burn Dean had been expecting. This hurt a little more, even as gentle as Cas was trying to be, only the thread of tension and the bond between them cluing Dean in to his impatience.
Cas spread his fingers and withdrew them slightly, then pushed them back in a little deeper. Dean thighs were aching from holding him up and steady and the muscles of his abdomen were twitching from sensation overload. Cas thrust his fingers in deeper and brushed against that spot that had always driven Dean's few male partners crazy. Dean choked on air, not expecting the sudden surge of pure bliss. Cas's hand briefly stopped, whether from surprise at the noise or from experiencing an echo of the pleasure.
"You're good at this," Dean said hoarsely, rocking his hips hesitantly back into Castiel's hand. Cas made sure to brush over that spot again and Dean shivered. If this was how three fingers felt, how would Cas's dick feel? Dean cleared his throat, mouth going dry at the thought. "You been watching more porn behind my back?"
"No," Cas replied, voice a low rumble. His fingers were fully inside Dean now, spreading the lube and rubbing against his prostate on every spread-drag-push. The pain had lent a sharp edge to the pleasure, but was quickly being overtaken. Dean wanted to ask how the hell Cas knew how to do this, then, to take him apart with only his fingers and make him like it, because a virgin should not be this good. A man that practically ran from a brothel should not be sitting here calmly, knuckle-deep in Dean's ass and making him understand just why some guys loved taking it.
Cas must have sensed the question, or at least the gist, because he continued speaking.
"You've done this before, to other men. You know how to prepare them, to make their bodies ready for you," Cas said. Dean groaned, an equal mix of fond exasperation and arousal.
"Really need to get you porn with better- oh." Cas rubbed against his prostate, the momentary spike of bliss shutting Dean up. Cas withdrew his fingers completely then and Dean moaned softly at the loss. The pain had all but vanished, but Castiel's cock was a lot thicker than three fingers. Dean felt the now-familiar mix of fear and anticipation as Castiel squirted an overly-generous amount of lubricant into his palm and went about slicking himself up. Dean heard him moan at the contact, eyes half-lidded in pleasure. Dean's pulse raced at the sight and Castiel opened his eyes again, meeting Dean's gaze.
Dean leaned forward and kissed him, rocking his hips into Castiel's body to get some badly-needed friction on his dick. He felt strangely empty and he wanted Cas in him, a feeling staggeringly at odds with everything he thought he knew about himself, with everything he had expected from tonight.
"Doesn't explain how you know," Dean managed, breaking the kiss.
"At this level of connection, we can see each other's surface thoughts. You experienced it earlier," Cas said.
Dean nodded. He couldn't forget suddenly fantasizing about himself getting fucked through the mattress.
"When I touched you, your mind called up memories of doing this. I let you guide me," the angel explained.
He placed one hand on Dean's hip and pulled him in a little, angling him just right. The other hand was on Castiel's cock, holding himself steady. Dean felt the tip brush his entrance and he took a shuddering breath, gripping the angel's shoulders for balance. Cas ran his hand soothingly up and down Dean's side and kissed him as he slowly pushed in.
Dean felt his body stretch to accommodate the thick length. He made a quiet little noise into Castiel's mouth as he took in the wide part of the head, groaning at the burn in his muscles. Cas had moved both of his hands up to Dean's hips, holding him in an iron grip as he lowered the human down. Cas sheathed himself inside Dean slowly, almost too slowly, making soft little pleased grunts at the heat and pressure around his cock.
"C'mon, Cas, do it. Just do it," Dean said, clenching his muscles around the intrusion and trying to wiggle free of Castiel's hands. It felt strange to have another man inside him, even stranger to be enjoying it and wanting more, to want to feel Castiel's hips beneath his ass and know that he'd taken all there was to take and then try to get even closer. Dean wanted it and he wanted it now; he could have a crisis about enjoying it this much later.
"Dean," Cas breathed, hips jerking up and plunging his dick suddenly deeper into the human's body. Dean moaned loudly, and he rotated his hips, rewarded when Cas finally let him go and Dean sank down, bottoming out in a last, slow slide.
Dean shifted, breathing deeply. He'd be feeling this tomorrow; hell, he would be feeling this for a week. Castiel's arms were around his back, hands wrapped over his shoulders to keep him in place as Cas shook.
"Dean... I need to..." Cas said, eyes glazed with want. Dean nodded, pressing shallow, open-mouthed kisses to Castiel's lips, neither having the breath for anything deeper.
"Yeah, yeah I know, just give me a second... need to get used to you," Dean said. His body squeezed around Cas again and the angel whimpered; that was it. Dean lifted himself up a bit on his knees, giving the angel room to move. Cas gripped him tighter. "Yeah, do it. Fuck me, Cas."
Cas didn't need telling twice. He held Dean steady and rocked his hips up. Dean moved with him, helped by Castiel's arms, and shortly the angel's hold was the only thing keeping him upright. Every shallow, awkward thrust dragged against his prostate just right and the friction was fucking amazing. The pleasure made his legs weak and he tried to move with Cas, to make this good for the angel, but his hands were just spasming on Castiel's shoulders and it wasn't enough, not yet.
"More, Cas," Dean panted, because he was close, he could feel it, Cas's pleasure and his own mixing and getting ready to explode but it wasn't there. "Fuck, harder."
Cas growled and then he wasn't just holding Dean up, he was pulling Dean in and Dean was falling forward. He didn't even have time to be startled at the change in position before Cas rolled them over and Dean was on his back, thighs still clenched around the angel's hips. Cas loomed over him, their bodies still intimately joined.
"Is this better, Dean?" he asked somewhat roughly, grabbing Dean's knees and pushing them back to almost touch the human's chest. The new position made Dean feel even more exposed, more helpless, but this was Cas. Cas would take care of him.
"Yes," Cas growled, apparently catching the thought, and he began to move. He had more space here and took full advantage of it, pulling out until just the head of his dick remained inside Dean and then slamming back in. Cas pushed Dean into the mattress with angelic strength, keeping him in place while he thrust. Dean couldn't even move his hips. All he could do was lie there while Castiel found just the right angle, sending bliss like fire along every nerve. Dean could feel Castiel's pleasure as well and even though Dean was close, getter closer with each snap of the angel's hips, Cas was even closer, his movements already becoming erratic.
Dean slid one hand to the back of Castiel's neck and pulled him in for kisses that lacked finesse but made up for it in wet heat. Dean grabbed his erection with his other hand, pumping it in time to Castiel's thrusts and sending himself speeding along to catch up to Cas.
He felt the bond react, reaching out for him and dragging him along. It brought his mind closer to Castiel's, blurring the lines between them until it felt like they were once again a single entity, one for which every motion was sheer joy. There was a sense of urgency, of need, and their movements became more and more frantic as the bliss built, grew white-hot. It reached a crescendo and consumed their joint mind utterly, leaving nothing but DeanandCas and pure, undiluted pleasure.
Time stretched to infinity in this shared space, as it had the first time their souls came together. It drew out their orgasm for what felt like an inhuman amount of time, the bliss only slowly cooling to post-coital satisfaction as the bond began to gently unravel once more. The pleasure dissipated first, leaving only that mix of feelings and warmth Dean had felt earlier.
Dean came to with Castiel's weight heavy on top of him and the angel's dick softening inside of him. Cas pulled out and Dean could feel the slickness between their bodies and the sudden wetness dripping down his thighs. He grimaced at the mess, but the afterglow was still too strong for him to actually do anything about it. Cas rolled off of Dean and lay on his back, though he kept his eyes on the human's face. Dean returned the gaze, smiling softly in a way he only ever did when he felt this good.
It had been a long time since he'd smiled like this.
"That was..." he said, voice trailing off as he realized he didn't have a word. The bond pulsed softly his mind as it faded to embers, always present but no longer connecting his mind to Castiel's as deeply as it had during sex.
"Yes, it was," Castiel replied, hearing what Dean couldn't express. Dean's smile morphed into a grin and he started to lean towards Cas, only to halt and wince as what felt like every muscle from his lower back to his thighs began to scream in protest. There was a hint of apology knocking at the back of his head, but Dean waved it off.
"Hey, I said I wanted to feel it for a week," he said, getting himself comfortable on the mattress. The afterglow was wearing off and exhaustion was taking its place. Dean yawned and rubbed at his face, then laid his arm across the pillows on the motel bed. "Can you angel-mojo us clean and get the blankets?"
"I could heal you," Cas offered, already moving two fingers to press against Dean's forehead. Dean smirked and shook his head.
"No. I kind of like the reminder," he said. He shifted a bit as Cas lowered his hand, wincing a little as pain shot up his spine. "Maybe just a little?"
Cas touched him and the pain immediately eased to a dull ache. His skin felt fresh and clean, as if he had just stepped out of a hot shower rather than just finished coming down from some truly excellent sex. He sighed and relaxed onto the mattress, eyelids getting heavier.
When he didn't feel the expected dip next to him, he cracked an eye open. Cas was holding the edge of the blankets, watching Dean with a mix of fascination and love; it startled Dean to realize how comfortable he was with that.
"You going to lay down with me or what?" Dean asked, raising his arm a bit in invitation.
Castiel nodded.
"I don't need to sleep," he commented, laying down next to Dean. Dean nodded, curling his arm around the angel's shoulders and pulling him closer.
"I do," Dean said. He didn't say anything further, just tightened his grip as though afraid Cas would pull away.
Cas threw his arm gently over Dean's waist and Dean relaxed, shutting his eyes. He turned his head and pressed a blind, sleepy kiss to somewhere on Castiel's face. Judging from the give of the skin, it was his cheek.
"'Night, Cas," Dean said, already beginning to drift off. "See you in the mornin'."
"Goodnight, Dean. Sleep well," Castiel replied quietly.
Dean felt some of Castiel's affection for him slowly seep into his mind and he grinned, projecting gratefulness as he sank into a blissfully dreamless sleep.
Castiel watched Dean for a few minutes, enjoying the remnants of pleasure his orgasm had left in him. He didn't feel tired, exactly, but rather decadently lazy.
Still, there was one rather pressing matter of business he had to take care of before he could allow himself to indulge. He focused his attention inward, his eyes glazing over as he moved through the layers of his consciousness.
The battleground was old, the same large, empty space where he had fought his hallucinations until he realized that they could not be caged, not as long as he had no anchor. The bond cloaked him in gold as he approached the area. Lucifer sat in the center, on a throne made of what looked like human bones, waiting.
"So, brother, it has come to this," the archangel said regretfully, spreading his hands as if to indicate the chamber.
Castiel shook his head.
"You are not Lucifer," he said calmly, with an absolute certainty he hadn’t felt in months. Lucifer's form fizzled, throne and archangel briefly appearing as the dark red mass of madness it truly was before snapping back. Even so, Castiel had seen it.
"Are you certain, Cassie?" Lucifer asked silkily, pushing himself up to stand. Castiel lifted a hand and held it out, palm facing the hallucination and fingers splayed. His eyes and hand began to glow pure white and a circle of light suddenly ignited, Lucifer and his throne at the center. Lucifer glared at the light hatefully, form flickering once more between what he truly was and how first Sam and then Castiel had seen him. Jets of white light sprang from the outline, curving well over Lucifer's head to fuse together. Within seconds, there was a dome-like cage around Lucifer, trapping him.
Lucifer laughed, cold and ugly.
"Do you really think this flimsy thing can hold me for long?" he asked walking up to one of the bars and flicking it with a finger. It vibrated. Lucifer scoffed. "It's barely better than your previous attempts, and those hardly worked well for you, did they?"
Castiel ignored him and brought his other hand up, concentrating on the bond he shared with Dean. He could still vaguely sense the hunter's mind, though it felt miles away and was shrouded by sleep. He reached and felt Dean respond unconsciously, his soul opening up and offering whatever energy Cas needed to make the Cage complete.
Lucifer's smirk vanished as the thin bars of his cage suddenly thickened and grew, spreading outwards towards one another to make an unbroken whole. His face contorted in rage and he exploded outwards into a cloud of red smoke, darting for the quickly-vanishing holes in the Cage.
The Cage sealed itself, trapping the madness inside. Castiel watched it rage against the translucent gold-and-white glowing walls, relieved when, despite the shaking, the walls showed no signs of immediate collapse.
The smoke coalesced into Lucifer again, though this time he was uniformly the color of blood from head to foot.
"This isn't over," he growled, voice no longer similar to Lucifer's. "You cannot kill me. You cannot get rid of me. I will always be here, in your head."
Castiel turned away from it and began the trip back through his consciousness to where his waking mind resided. The madness broke into an even greater frenzy then, throwing itself against the walls of its new Cage and shouting abuse, but the shouts reached Castiel's ears as mere whispers and then not even that as he returned to wakefulness.
Dean stirred next to Cas, blinking his eyes open slowly and making sleepy, questioning noises.
"Go back to sleep," Cas said softly, squeezing Dean's hip lightly. "Everything is all right."
Within minutes, Dean had dropped back off. Whether it was from the little bit of extra drain he'd feel until he grew accustomed to lending some of his power to the Cage in his bondmate's head or from trust in Castiel or some mixture of the two, Cas didn't know.
He curled up closer to Dean, thinking over his words to the hunter.
For the first time in months, his head was completely clear. Lucifer - at least Castiel's perception of him - was trapped and would trouble him no more, barring an absolute disaster. The madness would be able to whisper through any cracks in the Cage when Castiel had exhausted himself, but a few whispers were much easier to deal with than hallucinations that changed all his perception of time, place, and company.
He had Dean. He had never allowed himself to hope for completion of the bond and not only had they merged their souls, but they had melded in the human way as well. It had been glorious and Cas wouldn't mind doing it more often. Next time, he thought he wished to be the receiving partner.
He settled down to wait for morning, knowing that when dawn came, Sam would be back with breakfast for all three of them. They would discuss plans for the day and head out, seeking some way to defeat the Leviathans and taking care of any supernatural evil between here and that end goal.
And Cas would be with them.
Always.
The End
I'll be putting up a proper Masterpost for this fic tomorrow! Thank you all, I hope you enjoyed the conclusion as much as you enjoyed the journey.
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7| Part 8.1
Part 8.2
Dean wasn't sure what he had expected from bonding his soul irrevocably to Cas. For the first few minutes, it was oddly anticlimactic.
He had half-hoped that the touching and the deep-voiced 'close your eyes' had been the prelude to a kiss, but there was no sudden invasion of his space. Well, none more so than usual. Dean felt a stab of disappointment, but tried to push it down. It was fine if Cas didn't want to kiss him. Totally fine.
Dean wasn't going to make having sex with him one of Castiel's duties. If they went there, it would be because they both wanted to and not just 'if you wish'.
The next sensation was one he half-remembered, both from the sewers and from diving back in to drag Cas out. He’d been in too much pain the first time to remember much and too worried the second time to really take note of the sensations.
It was like being submerged in warm, breathable water; Dean still felt the urge to panic and try to rise above the surface, but Castiel sent waves of reassurance. Dean wouldn't drown, as long as he trusted Cas. Dean did, but he was still human and underwater and-
He breathed in deeply, striving for calm.
"I need you to let me in, Dean," Castiel said. Warm puffs of air passed over Dean's lips. Dean shivered. "I can't do this unless you relax."
Dean chuckled, more hysteria than humor.
"Buddy, we need to get you some better porn," he said. He could feel Castiel's confusion and he tried to let it in, dropping his defenses and fumbling along the line of Castiel's emotions to find the source. Dean felt himself make contact with something and he had a brief moment of 'yeah, found it' before he was completely overwhelmed.
Castiel touching him had been like sliding into a warm bath. The surface had been just a foot or so above his head. This was like having several tons of weight strapped to his neck and then being thrown into the deepest, warmest part of the ocean. Before he even realized what was happening, he was in too deep and still sinking.
Then Castiel's emotions hit him. At once, Dean could feel the angel's awe, his joy, his guilt, and his determination. As he was falling deeper into Cas, he could feel the angel diving deeper into him. Cas was experiencing Dean's fear and his stubbornness, his uncertainty and his satisfaction.
Then he reached the mark Hell had left on Dean.
Dean felt suddenly chilled as Castiel went through the memories of a time when Dean had been his weakest and most desperate. Dean could once again taste the shame and the blood on his tongue, his horror and his sick joy at being the one off the rack and the guilt that still swamped him if he dwelled too much on what he had become in the Pit.
Castiel paused, examining the darkness carefully. Dean tried to usher him along, not wanting Cas to look too closely at what he himself refused to face, but Castiel didn't budge. The angel traced each mental scar with what felt like pure light and the glow seeped into the cracks, soothing them and filling them in as though Dean's soul was a wall and all gouges could be fixed with enough spackle.
The light spread, the different scars connecting to form a net over the darkness and then sinking into it. The net suddenly exploded and Dean gasped, short of breath, as all of Hell was illuminated for a split second and then obscured by the white light. It flashed only for an instant, but for that moment all Dean knew was peace. The light seemed to take his burdens with it and he was suspended in the space between heartbeats, like drifting in zero-gravity.
When the glow faded and memories of the Pit eased back in, like particularly stubborn mold showing through a new coat of paint, it wasn't as dark as before. The full heft of the memories didn't return, even if Dean didn't feel as weightless as he had during the light show.
"... the hell did you do?" Dean breathed, not opening his eyes.
"I made your burdens a little bit lighter," Castiel replied. He seemed even closer now than he had been when they had started, though Dean wasn't sure if that was just the intimacy of the moment. Dean wanted to ask more, but his voice caught in his throat. Cas was still going further, aiming for the very heart of what made Dean Dean. The angel was heading directly for the place where Dean had buried his resentment of his father, the terror that those he loved would always leave him, the belief that he wasn't good enough to keep anyone, and, most powerful of all, the love he had for everyone he considered family. Sam, Bobby, his dad, and his mom were all there in a mix of protectiveness, respect, grief, longing, and endless amounts of affection. Ellen, Jo, Lisa, and Ben all had a presence there too, though with a great deal more guilt.
And then there was Cas.
Cas didn't fit in any category. He wasn't Sam or Bobby and he wasn't Lisa or Ellen either. Castiel was in a category all his own, bound up in so many emotions and so many things Dean tried not to think about. Respect, possessiveness, yearning, resignation, lust, affection, guilt. Traces of other things Dean had no names for, adding up to something he hadn't dared to label. He felt Castiel go unnaturally still as Cas realized exactly what Dean's emotions meant.
Dean threw himself into sinking into the rest of Castiel's emotions. He saw the murder of angels through Castiel's eyes, the sorrow and the guilt that came with each new kill until sorrow was numb and guilt had multiplied so much the exact amount no longer mattered. He felt the strain of the war in Heaven, the conviction that he was doing right, and the gut-tearing pain of betrayal and loss as Cas walked into a ring of holy fire.
He saw himself raking leaves and the scene was permeated with the sense that this was what he was protecting. The Earth, for Dean. By himself, so Dean could have a normal life. With Crowley, so he stood a chance of coming back to Dean even if he never showed himself to the human again. DeanDeanDean.
Cas tried to gently steer him away from the recollections, but Dean clung to them, determined to see them through. It was like listening to a list of his own sins, every time he had ignored or used Cas while the angel was struggling with something much bigger and badder than he was. Guilt surrounded Dean and for a moment he thought it was his own, but then he realized that Cas was the source. Dean's own stomach churned with both the emotion and the realization and he gathered up Castiel's guilt over the episode and poured his understanding into it, trying to imagine his emotions as the same white light that had briefly blocked out Hell for him.
Dean got it now. He understood.
He felt Castiel's wonder as the guilt shrank and faded, but just like the scars Dean still carried, it didn't disappear entirely. Dean let it go.
He hit bottom.
Quite suddenly, all that made up Castiel was everywhere around Dean, surrounding him completely and drowning him in intensity. The sensations were overwhelming and Dean couldn't even identify the emotions swirling around him, too caught up in the sheer force of them to note the flavor. It really was like being miles beneath the ocean's surface and the pressure was crushing him.
"Dean, breathe."
Dean gulped for air, reaching out for Cas. He didn't realize he was doing it physically as well as mentally until he grabbed real shoulders and dug his fingers into the material of Castiel's borrowed Tshirt. The world stabilized around him and he was no longer being smothered, though he was still miles beneath the ocean surface. Castiel slowly put his hands on Dean's waist, holding him steady.
Dean suddenly understood what the emotions were that surrounded him. Castiel's core was made up of peace, love, and stubbornness. Dean almost choked on his laughter. The tranquility was strange and had more than a few traces of unrest, but it was like seeing where a centuries-old coral reef had been damaged and watching new growth fill in the breaks. The new coral fit but fundamentally changed the reef. The love was unlike any Dean had ever felt, distant and almost cold. There was the respect and awe of God mixed in there, the fascination and love for humanity as a whole, and the angel’s love for his brothers. The last was similar to how a human might care for a cousin they rarely saw.
The stubbornness was pure Castiel, determination that Dean knew was twin to his own. He ignored the stab of his own disappointment when he found nothing else here, at the place where everything that made up the angel's foundations hid. There was no trace of himself or Sam or Bobby, nor any of the other angels Dean had thought Cas was close to. If not for the hints of unrest and the stubbornness, this could be the core of any angel.
There was no trace of Jimmy anywhere in this ocean. Somehow, Dean knew he’d sense it if there was. He briefly wondered what had happened to the man that had given up his body to an angel, then just as quickly decided that he didn’t want to know.
A part of him, larger than Dean would like to admit, was relieved that Cas was alone in his body. Well, alone except for the madness.
If anything happened, Dean wouldn’t need to feel guilty about what Jimmy would think.
"Is this it, then?" Dean asked, eyes still closed. His voice didn't shake and he congratulated himself.
"No. There are still some things you need to see," Castiel said gently. Dean felt the emotions around him shift, like the current brushing away some of the sandy floor to reveal a treasure chest. Dean felt abruptly warmer and he furrowed his eyebrows, cautiously following the sensation. At the end of the line, he found feelings as familiar to him as the tranquility and love had been alien and he breathed in sharply.
Here was everything Dean had thought was missing. Here was what differentiated Cas from Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Dean was hit by waves of warm affection, camaraderie, trust, and respect. Balthazar. Sam. Bobby. Himself.
The emotions themselves seemed to react to Dean's presence, wrapping around him and drawing him in, down, to another level he hadn't even realized existed. He gasped a little as he realized that what he had taken as Castiel's heart had simply been covering the real bottom layer. Castiel's feelings for his adopted family were like a gateway, a fissure in the bottom of the ocean leading directly to the world’s core.
There were still elements of his angelic nature, but rather than 'family' being relegated to a small area, the two were equal and entwined perfectly. Most overwhelming, though, was an emotion both like and unlike anything Dean had ever felt before.
The emotion was protectiveness and possessiveness and affection and secrecy and want, all balled up together. It was endless and powerful and frightening, but somehow comforting and steady as well. Dean could trust this to be there forever; he got the distinct impression that not even Death himself would be able to destroy it.
And it was all DeanDeanDean.
It glowed golden and then the light was surrounding Dean and cradled him, then sunk into him. The connection between Dean and Castiel suddenly sharpened, like a somewhat fuzzy picture going into high-definition. Dean was no longer just Dean, he was DeanandCas and he could feel his hands on his arms, his hands on his waist, his love, his grief, his lust. There was no separation between Dean and Castiel and their emotions pooled and mixed, outer layers and inner layers and then, finally, the core of what made each of them up touched and melded. Dean lost track of the little bit of mixed-up physical reality he had been holding on to.
They could have stayed like that for hours or minutes and neither would have been able to tell. There was nothing except for the combination of them, what they felt, what drove them, how they felt for one another.
Finally, the cocoon of the bond slowly unraveled and Dean and Castiel slowly separated into their own bodies. Dean became aware of his hands still gripping Cas's shoulders and Castiel's hands on Dean's hips. Dean was breathing heavily and his body shook. His only consolation that Cas was also faintly trembling, like he hadn't quite expected the intensity of the experience either.
"That's how I make you feel?" Dean croaked, recalling what he had found in the deepest part of Castiel. It had been frightening and overpowering, to see exactly how much he meant to a freakin' Angel of the Lord, and it made what Dean had kept hidden in his own heart pale in comparison.
Sensing the thought, Castiel suddenly clutched Dean's emotions tightly to himself as though protecting them from Dean's sense of unworthiness. Castiel held Dean's feelings like they were the most precious things in the world and Dean had the shocking realization that, to Castiel, they might very well be. Dean thought it was rather like comparing shards of broken glass to a flawless, fist-sized diamond, but because the glass shards were Dean's, Castiel was more than prepared to trade.
"Do not belittle yourself, Dean," Castiel said, voice an odd mix of soothing and warning. "Your feelings for me are no less powerful than what I feel for you. No two beings experience love the same way."
"Cas, I'm not-" Dean said, but the words caught in his throat. Even now, when he knew Cas could still feel everything he was feeling, he couldn't say the words. Castiel moved in closer, both physically and mentally, and placed one hand on the back of Dean's neck.
"You are worth everything I have done for you, Dean Winchester," he said, and pulled Dean in for a kiss. Dean went with it, nervous anticipation prickling his skin rather than surprise. The technique was rough, unpolished, but Dean could taste the underlying tenderness on his tongue. There was passion too, boiling inside Castiel and Dean chased the flavor deeper into the angel's mouth. Castiel tilted his head and surged against Dean, all nerves and excitement and desire to match Dean's own.
Dean pulled away to breathe, leaning his forehead against Castiel's so they'd lose as little contact as possible. Arousal was thrumming through his veins and pooling low in his body and he could feel his state mirrored in Castiel. The angel didn't move, waiting to take his cue from Dean.
"Are we doing this?" Dean asked, more than half-certain of the answer. The bond was still unwinding slowly from their union and he frowned, burrowing deeper into Castiel's emotions. Cas knew what he was looking for and brought it to the surface, allowing his feelings for Dean to flood their mental landscape. Dean drank them in greedily. "Fuck yes, we're doing this."
Lust sparked in both men, running like fire over the bond and growing, returning to both to hit them tenfold. Dean gasped as pleasure ignited his body and Castiel captured his mouth again, nipping gently at his lower lip. The angel's hands slid up underneath Dean's shirt, running over the skin possessively before returning to the hem and trying to yank the shirt off.
Dean shifted his arms to help and then busied his hands with touching Castiel everywhere he could, slipping under the material of his shirt to rake his nails lightly over the soft skin. The angel dropped Dean’s off the side of the bed, radiating approval with a slightly wistful edge.
Dean paused. He swallowed heavily, feeling oddly nervous as he reached inside of himself for all the things he kept buried. He took a deep breath and brought them to the forefront of his mind, just as Castiel had done, and shoved the whole mess quickly across the bond to the angel.
Castiel inhaled sharply.
"Dean," he said, voice reverent and totally wrecked, and Dean would give anything to hear his name said just like that, in that voice, a thousand times more.
"Yeah, I know," Dean said, pressing his mouth to the bared flesh of Castiel's throat. He kissed and mouthed at the skin, nibbling lightly at a particularly delectable patch and then laving the mark with his tongue. He pulled the hem of Cas’s shirt up. “Let’s get this off.”
Cas leaned back and lifted his arms, allowed Dean to pull off the garment. The angel immediately tugged Dean back in for a kiss and moved forward, climbing partially into Dean’s lap.
Dean could sense Castiel's inexperience in every slow touch, not exactly hesitant but not confident either, like he had been handed a manual saying 'this is how you do sex' and he was trying to follow it step by step. Or maybe he was just going off of what he had observed of humanity.
His hands wandered up and down Dean's chest in some kind of pattern, body arching against Dean and his erection pressing against Dean's abdomen through his pants. Dean's cock was rubbing against Castiel's ass and he groaned, rolling his hips into the contact.
Castiel began nipping and sucking on Dean's neck, high enough that no popped collar would cover it.
"That'll bruise," he warned Cas, hissing at one particularly vicious nip before tilting his head to allow the angel more access. Dean slid his hands low on Castiel's body, cupping his ass and using the hold to pull him even closer.
"I want it to," Castiel said, voice thick with arousal as he rocked against Dean. He made a tiny, pleased noise in the back of his throat at the friction. "And the idea doesn't displease you."
Dean was positively radiating lust, so he had to admit the angel was right. Castiel's right hand moved to grip Dean's left shoulder and he squeezed, fingers digging in exactly where Dean's burn scar used to be. Dean swallowed thickly, experiencing Castiel's sense of loss as if it were his own.
"Bruise is a little less permanent than a burn," Dean said. He kissed Cas softly, but with his mouth open and tongue sliding along the inside of Castiel's lips. Cas responded eagerly, taking control of it and licking into Dean's mouth. Dean's voice was breathy when he spoke next. "You'll need to make a new one every time it heals."
"I intend to," Castiel said, putting to rest any fears Dean might've had about the physical part of bonding being a one time thing brought on by the heat of the moment.
Dean set his hands to work getting Castiel's pants open, first pulling the belt free and then the button and zipper. Castiel moaned at the sudden freedom, his cock distending the front of his underwear. Dean slipped a hand inside the loosened jeans, stroking the hard flesh and pressing light kisses to the angel's face as he bucked into the touch.
"How far do you want to go?" Dean asked, rocking his hips into Castiel's ass in time to the strokes of his hand. Castiel tried to match his rhythm, though his body jerked more erratically as pleasure overtook his senses.
"I want everything, Dean," Castiel said. Dean shuddered at the sound, seeing himself on his back in bed, knees pressed to his chest and Castiel in between, fucking him open in long, slow strokes. Or on his elbows and knees, Cas bent over his back and pressing soft kisses to every available patch of skin, bodies moving in concert. Or maybe it would be Cas on his back, legs bent for support as Dean slowly sank down onto his cock-
It took Dean a moment to realize that those weren't his fantasies. He was hard and leaking, precome dampening his underwear, and his hand had stopped moving.
"Is that what you want?" Dean asked, feeling his arousal ratchet up another notch. He rarely fucked men and when he did, he never bottomed. The idea had simply never appealed to him, but here, now... fuck.
"Yes," Castiel said, nearly attacking Dean's mouth. "Yes."
Dean tore his hands away from Castiel's body and began quickly unbuttoning his own pants. He groaned into the kiss as his cock was freed from the confines of the denim.
"We need to be a lot more naked, then," he said, giving tacit permission. He ushered Castiel off of his lap, both reluctant to part but knowing the necessity. Dean shucked his jeans, this time groaning in frustration as he realized he still had his shoes on. His fingers trembled with excitement as he tugged at the laces, making the task slow and difficult. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Cas mimicking his movements, in much the same state as Dean. After a minute, sixty too-long seconds, Dean had both of his shoes off, as well as his socks. He kicked off his jeans and boxers and turned back to Castiel, now completely naked.
Cas was just removing the last of his clothing.
Miles of bare skin were on display, more being revealed by the second and Dean couldn't look away. His eyes traced the curve of Castiel's backside, the planes of the angel's chest he hadn't taken the time to appreciate properly when he had first undressed Cas, and the erection hanging red and thick between Castiel's thighs. His mouth went dry and his cock twitched with interest.
He scooted closer to Cas, ending up partially behind the angel on the bed and pressing kisses to his shoulder blade, his shoulder, the base and nape of his neck. Cas seemed so small like this; naked, hard and aching, and wanting Dean. An Angel of the Lord, complete with wings and the ability to smite just about anything, reduced to a trembling mass of need because of him.
Dean kissed up the side of Castiel's neck, bringing his hand slowly around Cas's hip to wrap around his cock. Cas grunted, his pleasure spiking through to Dean, and arched his hips into the touch. He leaned back against Dean, moaning quietly as Dean stroked him. Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder, looking down along the line of Cas's body to where his hand pulled along sensitive flesh. There was a faint flush to Castiel's pale skin, his chest heaving with breaths he didn't actually need.
"Fuck, Cas, you're beautiful like this," Dean said. They were words he'd used before in similar scenarios, but they felt different leaving his tongue this time around. They seemed more and less honest, somehow; more, because he had never seen a sight that affected him the way this did, his hand sliding wetly over Castiel's cock as the angel trembled with foreign sensations, and less because this was not what Cas really looked like. Dean was holding and touching and kissing a vessel, albeit one that was empty except for Castiel. It wasn't actually his angel.
Dean wondered what it would be like to do this with the real Castiel, if that was even possible outside of in their heads. Would the bond let him see and hear the real Castiel without his eyeballs burning out or his eardrums exploding? Would he be able to touch Cas's real form, the wave of celestial whatever, without getting incinerated?
What would it be like to be in bed with something that powerful?
Dean groaned at the thought. Hell, he hadn't even known that was a turn-on for him. He already knew he loved it when his partners took charge and showed him how much and where they wanted him, but that wasn't quite on the same level as fantasizing about fucking something that could smite him with barely a thought.
Dean moved his free hand to his heretofore neglected cock and began stroking himself in time to the motions of his hand on Castiel. He could come just like this and he wouldn't regret a thing.
"Dean," Castiel moaned. Cas turned his head, lips brushing against Dean's cheek when he spoke. "Dean."
There was a sudden outpouring of love, desire, and wonder from Castiel and Dean stilled, trembling with the force of it.
"How much of that did you see?" he asked, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Castiel's lips.
"Everything." A hint of regret colored the bond for a moment. "What you want... it's not possible, Dean. I have no physical body in my true form."
"Yeah, I figured," Dean said. He felt faintly disappointed, but he quelled it by recalling just how good consummating the bond had felt. It hadn't been physical pleasure, but something entirely different and peaceful and if they could do that again-
Cas turned in Dean's hold, capturing Dean's mouth and running his hands over Dean's chest. Waves of affection and joy and desire for something far less earthly than sex hit Dean and he groaned, allowing Cas to gently push him onto his back in the bed. Cas was still kissing him, hot and wet and goddamnit, there was no way he could be this good just from watching porn.
"That, we can do over and over again," Cas said into Dean's mouth, answering the human's unspoken question about the joining of their minds. "But Dean, this body is just as much mine as it was Jimmy's. For all intents and purposes, this is what I look like when I'm on Earth. There is no shame in wanting me like this."
Dean kissed him again. He usually didn't enjoy kissing quite this much; usually kisses were just the prelude to hot and sweaty satisfaction and they never meant quite as much before as they did now. He lifted his hips and pressed his body against Castiel's, moaning softly when Cas ground down against him.
He wasn't going to last much longer, not when he was experiencing not only his own pleasure, but Castiel's as well. Time to move on.
"We need lube," Dean said, breaking the kiss. "I've got some in my bag, just let me - fuck."
Cas had slipped an arm in-between their bodies and was running an exploratory hand over Dean's leaking cock and his scrotum. Dean's hips jerked into the touches, hints of Castiel's satisfaction and arousal sparking through his brain. Cas moved his hand back, dragging his fingers lightly over the sensitive skin behind Dean's sac, leading into the cleft of his ass. Dean involuntarily tensed as he felt the tips of those fingers brush the entrance to his body, not pressing into the ring of muscle but just circling it carefully. Cas stilled when he felt Dean's unease and Dean shut his eyes, as if that would somehow prevent him from having to feel Cas's confusion.
"Get off for a second. Let me get the lube," Dean said, reaching down and squeezing Castiel's hip lightly in an attempt to be reassuring. Cas nodded and rolled off of Dean, still projecting uncertainty and lust slightly tempered by Dean's own mixed feelings. Dean got off of the bed and walked quickly over to his duffle bag, unzipping the side pocket to get at the small bottle of lubricant he kept in there. He could feel Castiel's eyes on him the whole way. He briefly debated grabbing condoms as well, but he was clean and Cas was a freaking Angel of the Lord; he doubted he needed to worry about STDs and the fact that they were both male kept pregnancy from being a worry.
"Dean," Cas said, just as Dean turned back to the bed. "We don't need to do anything you don't want to."
Dean could tell he meant it, too. He could take the lube back to the bed, open Cas up and fuck him and Cas would enjoy it. Castiel wouldn't even mind the change; all he wanted was to be as close as physically possible to Dean. Just the thought of Cas on his back, sweaty and flushed and bucking into every thrust of Dean's hips was almost enough to undo him. Cas would be tight and hot and he'd have his first ever orgasm on Dean's cock...
Dean breathed deeply. If he allowed himself to fantasize about that possible chain of events, then the fun out be over before it really began.
He thought about the fantasies he had seen in Castiel's head, almost surprised when he realized that his reaction to them was just as strong as it had been earlier. He'd never been fucked before, hadn’t even realized it was something he wanted, but here, now, with Cas, it sounded like a fucking fantastic idea.
What would it be like to let Cas touch him where no one else had ever been allowed? Physically, not just emotionally?
"Dean?" Cas asked. Dean walked back to the bed, smirking to hide his trepidation. Castiel's eyes roamed over his body with undisguised desire and a near-reverence that would have taken Dean's breath away if he had let it. Dean climbed onto the mattress and swung one leg over Castiel's body, straddling his hips. Cas's hands came up automatically to steady him and Dean caught one, pressing the small tube into the angel's palm. Dean leaned over, kissing Castiel hungrily and hoping Cas couldn't taste his nervous excitement.
"Fuck me," he said against Castiel's mouth. He broke away to press kisses along Cas's stubble-covered jaw line and ground down against the erection he could feel against his ass. He was gratified when Cas breathed in sharply and bucked up into the friction. "I want you in me, Cas."
Cas grabbed the back of Dean's head and pulled him back for another wet kiss. When the kiss broke for air, Cas didn't ask in words if Dean was sure. He slid his hand off of Dean's neck and pushed Dean up a bit, gently, until Dean was kneeling over the angel. Cas scooted back a bit so that his thighs, rather than his hips, were in-between Dean's legs and he sat up as well.
He kissed Dean again, softly, and Dean shut his eyes as he heard the familiar snap of the lube bottle being opened. He spread his legs wider, leaning a bit of weight on Castiel's chest so he'd be close enough for Cas to get his slick fingers where he had to.
Dean could remember doing this to other guys, the initial tightness and the discomfort if the dude taking it was too tense. He relaxed and breathed deeply, waiting and wondering what it would feel like to be the one getting prepared for once.
Dean shivered as an arm slid around his waist and wet fingers ran along the curve of one of his buttcheeks to the cleft in between. He mouthed at Castiel's neck as the fingers slid along his entrance, stimulating the nerves and increasing both Dean's arousal and his trepidation. Cas didn't push his fingers into Dean, not yet, just touched him and stroked soothing patterns on his side with his other hand. It was a trick Dean had used sometimes; tease lightly, get his partner comfortable, then stretch him nice and slow.
Dean relaxed under the touches and then Cas concentrated on just around the ring of muscle leading into Dean's body. He pressed his fingers lightly against it, still not going in but on the verge. It was a silent request for permission, asking without words whether or not this was really what Dean wanted.
"Do it," Dean said, voice thick. His breathing stuttered in his chest when Cas complied, sticking just the tip of one of his fingers into Dean. Dean tensed and Cas immediately withdrew his hand, radiating uncertainty. Dean shook his head and Cas stopped, his hand resting on Dean's hip.
"Dean," he began, but Dean cut him off.
"I want this," he insisted, moving back to look Cas directly in the eye. He shifted a bit to get his arm out from between their bodies. He grabbed Castiel's hand and tugged it back to his ass, holding onto the back of it and trying to press one of the angel's fingers against his entrance. "I was just surprised, all right?"
"If you'd be more comfortable-" Cas started, but Dean shook his head again, more violently this time.
"Open me up, Cas," Dean said, pushing against their joined hands. "I want you to fingerfuck me and get me ready for you. I want you to stretch me open just enough so that, when I finally take your cock, I feel every inch of it inside me. It want it to hurt, I want to be feeling it for the next week."
The dirtytalk had the desired effect. If nothing else, it made Dean more confident, though doubts and nervousness still churned his stomach. Castiel's unease seemed to have vanished. The angel's pupils dilated and he pressed his finger into Dean once more. Dean breathed deeply and tried to stay relaxed, shifting a bit at the unfamiliar sensation. It didn't hurt, just felt very strange.
Castiel rotated his finger, caressing the sensitive inner walls of Dean's body. He drew his finger out a bit and pushed it back in, his knuckle brushing against the rim. Dean shuddered, spreading his legs a bit wider unconsciously. He was starting to see why some guys enjoyed this.
Cas pulled his finger out and then there were two sliding back into Dean. That did hurt a bit and Dean rested his forehead against Castiel's shoulder. The pain was nothing compared to injuries Dean had had before, but this was different.
Cas pressed butterfly kisses over whatever parts of Dean he could reach with his mouth, scissoring his fingers. He drew the digits out, keeping them spread so the tight ring of muscle would loosen, before plunging them back in.
"Fuck," Dean breathed. Cas repeated the action a few times, changing the angle of his hand and his fingers to drag over new skin. Dean was actually starting to feel empty every time the fingers slid out and damn, he hadn't known bottoming was like this. His hand had slid to Castiel's wrist at some point and dropped off completely when Cas pulled his fingers all the way out. Dean made a small noise in the back of his throat that he would deny was a protest, only to be soothed when Cas coated three of his fingers with lube and moved his hand back to Dean's ass. Cas slid all three in, shallowly at first, and there was the burn Dean had been expecting. This hurt a little more, even as gentle as Cas was trying to be, only the thread of tension and the bond between them cluing Dean in to his impatience.
Cas spread his fingers and withdrew them slightly, then pushed them back in a little deeper. Dean thighs were aching from holding him up and steady and the muscles of his abdomen were twitching from sensation overload. Cas thrust his fingers in deeper and brushed against that spot that had always driven Dean's few male partners crazy. Dean choked on air, not expecting the sudden surge of pure bliss. Cas's hand briefly stopped, whether from surprise at the noise or from experiencing an echo of the pleasure.
"You're good at this," Dean said hoarsely, rocking his hips hesitantly back into Castiel's hand. Cas made sure to brush over that spot again and Dean shivered. If this was how three fingers felt, how would Cas's dick feel? Dean cleared his throat, mouth going dry at the thought. "You been watching more porn behind my back?"
"No," Cas replied, voice a low rumble. His fingers were fully inside Dean now, spreading the lube and rubbing against his prostate on every spread-drag-push. The pain had lent a sharp edge to the pleasure, but was quickly being overtaken. Dean wanted to ask how the hell Cas knew how to do this, then, to take him apart with only his fingers and make him like it, because a virgin should not be this good. A man that practically ran from a brothel should not be sitting here calmly, knuckle-deep in Dean's ass and making him understand just why some guys loved taking it.
Cas must have sensed the question, or at least the gist, because he continued speaking.
"You've done this before, to other men. You know how to prepare them, to make their bodies ready for you," Cas said. Dean groaned, an equal mix of fond exasperation and arousal.
"Really need to get you porn with better- oh." Cas rubbed against his prostate, the momentary spike of bliss shutting Dean up. Cas withdrew his fingers completely then and Dean moaned softly at the loss. The pain had all but vanished, but Castiel's cock was a lot thicker than three fingers. Dean felt the now-familiar mix of fear and anticipation as Castiel squirted an overly-generous amount of lubricant into his palm and went about slicking himself up. Dean heard him moan at the contact, eyes half-lidded in pleasure. Dean's pulse raced at the sight and Castiel opened his eyes again, meeting Dean's gaze.
Dean leaned forward and kissed him, rocking his hips into Castiel's body to get some badly-needed friction on his dick. He felt strangely empty and he wanted Cas in him, a feeling staggeringly at odds with everything he thought he knew about himself, with everything he had expected from tonight.
"Doesn't explain how you know," Dean managed, breaking the kiss.
"At this level of connection, we can see each other's surface thoughts. You experienced it earlier," Cas said.
Dean nodded. He couldn't forget suddenly fantasizing about himself getting fucked through the mattress.
"When I touched you, your mind called up memories of doing this. I let you guide me," the angel explained.
He placed one hand on Dean's hip and pulled him in a little, angling him just right. The other hand was on Castiel's cock, holding himself steady. Dean felt the tip brush his entrance and he took a shuddering breath, gripping the angel's shoulders for balance. Cas ran his hand soothingly up and down Dean's side and kissed him as he slowly pushed in.
Dean felt his body stretch to accommodate the thick length. He made a quiet little noise into Castiel's mouth as he took in the wide part of the head, groaning at the burn in his muscles. Cas had moved both of his hands up to Dean's hips, holding him in an iron grip as he lowered the human down. Cas sheathed himself inside Dean slowly, almost too slowly, making soft little pleased grunts at the heat and pressure around his cock.
"C'mon, Cas, do it. Just do it," Dean said, clenching his muscles around the intrusion and trying to wiggle free of Castiel's hands. It felt strange to have another man inside him, even stranger to be enjoying it and wanting more, to want to feel Castiel's hips beneath his ass and know that he'd taken all there was to take and then try to get even closer. Dean wanted it and he wanted it now; he could have a crisis about enjoying it this much later.
"Dean," Cas breathed, hips jerking up and plunging his dick suddenly deeper into the human's body. Dean moaned loudly, and he rotated his hips, rewarded when Cas finally let him go and Dean sank down, bottoming out in a last, slow slide.
Dean shifted, breathing deeply. He'd be feeling this tomorrow; hell, he would be feeling this for a week. Castiel's arms were around his back, hands wrapped over his shoulders to keep him in place as Cas shook.
"Dean... I need to..." Cas said, eyes glazed with want. Dean nodded, pressing shallow, open-mouthed kisses to Castiel's lips, neither having the breath for anything deeper.
"Yeah, yeah I know, just give me a second... need to get used to you," Dean said. His body squeezed around Cas again and the angel whimpered; that was it. Dean lifted himself up a bit on his knees, giving the angel room to move. Cas gripped him tighter. "Yeah, do it. Fuck me, Cas."
Cas didn't need telling twice. He held Dean steady and rocked his hips up. Dean moved with him, helped by Castiel's arms, and shortly the angel's hold was the only thing keeping him upright. Every shallow, awkward thrust dragged against his prostate just right and the friction was fucking amazing. The pleasure made his legs weak and he tried to move with Cas, to make this good for the angel, but his hands were just spasming on Castiel's shoulders and it wasn't enough, not yet.
"More, Cas," Dean panted, because he was close, he could feel it, Cas's pleasure and his own mixing and getting ready to explode but it wasn't there. "Fuck, harder."
Cas growled and then he wasn't just holding Dean up, he was pulling Dean in and Dean was falling forward. He didn't even have time to be startled at the change in position before Cas rolled them over and Dean was on his back, thighs still clenched around the angel's hips. Cas loomed over him, their bodies still intimately joined.
"Is this better, Dean?" he asked somewhat roughly, grabbing Dean's knees and pushing them back to almost touch the human's chest. The new position made Dean feel even more exposed, more helpless, but this was Cas. Cas would take care of him.
"Yes," Cas growled, apparently catching the thought, and he began to move. He had more space here and took full advantage of it, pulling out until just the head of his dick remained inside Dean and then slamming back in. Cas pushed Dean into the mattress with angelic strength, keeping him in place while he thrust. Dean couldn't even move his hips. All he could do was lie there while Castiel found just the right angle, sending bliss like fire along every nerve. Dean could feel Castiel's pleasure as well and even though Dean was close, getter closer with each snap of the angel's hips, Cas was even closer, his movements already becoming erratic.
Dean slid one hand to the back of Castiel's neck and pulled him in for kisses that lacked finesse but made up for it in wet heat. Dean grabbed his erection with his other hand, pumping it in time to Castiel's thrusts and sending himself speeding along to catch up to Cas.
He felt the bond react, reaching out for him and dragging him along. It brought his mind closer to Castiel's, blurring the lines between them until it felt like they were once again a single entity, one for which every motion was sheer joy. There was a sense of urgency, of need, and their movements became more and more frantic as the bliss built, grew white-hot. It reached a crescendo and consumed their joint mind utterly, leaving nothing but DeanandCas and pure, undiluted pleasure.
Time stretched to infinity in this shared space, as it had the first time their souls came together. It drew out their orgasm for what felt like an inhuman amount of time, the bliss only slowly cooling to post-coital satisfaction as the bond began to gently unravel once more. The pleasure dissipated first, leaving only that mix of feelings and warmth Dean had felt earlier.
Dean came to with Castiel's weight heavy on top of him and the angel's dick softening inside of him. Cas pulled out and Dean could feel the slickness between their bodies and the sudden wetness dripping down his thighs. He grimaced at the mess, but the afterglow was still too strong for him to actually do anything about it. Cas rolled off of Dean and lay on his back, though he kept his eyes on the human's face. Dean returned the gaze, smiling softly in a way he only ever did when he felt this good.
It had been a long time since he'd smiled like this.
"That was..." he said, voice trailing off as he realized he didn't have a word. The bond pulsed softly his mind as it faded to embers, always present but no longer connecting his mind to Castiel's as deeply as it had during sex.
"Yes, it was," Castiel replied, hearing what Dean couldn't express. Dean's smile morphed into a grin and he started to lean towards Cas, only to halt and wince as what felt like every muscle from his lower back to his thighs began to scream in protest. There was a hint of apology knocking at the back of his head, but Dean waved it off.
"Hey, I said I wanted to feel it for a week," he said, getting himself comfortable on the mattress. The afterglow was wearing off and exhaustion was taking its place. Dean yawned and rubbed at his face, then laid his arm across the pillows on the motel bed. "Can you angel-mojo us clean and get the blankets?"
"I could heal you," Cas offered, already moving two fingers to press against Dean's forehead. Dean smirked and shook his head.
"No. I kind of like the reminder," he said. He shifted a bit as Cas lowered his hand, wincing a little as pain shot up his spine. "Maybe just a little?"
Cas touched him and the pain immediately eased to a dull ache. His skin felt fresh and clean, as if he had just stepped out of a hot shower rather than just finished coming down from some truly excellent sex. He sighed and relaxed onto the mattress, eyelids getting heavier.
When he didn't feel the expected dip next to him, he cracked an eye open. Cas was holding the edge of the blankets, watching Dean with a mix of fascination and love; it startled Dean to realize how comfortable he was with that.
"You going to lay down with me or what?" Dean asked, raising his arm a bit in invitation.
Castiel nodded.
"I don't need to sleep," he commented, laying down next to Dean. Dean nodded, curling his arm around the angel's shoulders and pulling him closer.
"I do," Dean said. He didn't say anything further, just tightened his grip as though afraid Cas would pull away.
Cas threw his arm gently over Dean's waist and Dean relaxed, shutting his eyes. He turned his head and pressed a blind, sleepy kiss to somewhere on Castiel's face. Judging from the give of the skin, it was his cheek.
"'Night, Cas," Dean said, already beginning to drift off. "See you in the mornin'."
"Goodnight, Dean. Sleep well," Castiel replied quietly.
Dean felt some of Castiel's affection for him slowly seep into his mind and he grinned, projecting gratefulness as he sank into a blissfully dreamless sleep.
Castiel watched Dean for a few minutes, enjoying the remnants of pleasure his orgasm had left in him. He didn't feel tired, exactly, but rather decadently lazy.
Still, there was one rather pressing matter of business he had to take care of before he could allow himself to indulge. He focused his attention inward, his eyes glazing over as he moved through the layers of his consciousness.
The battleground was old, the same large, empty space where he had fought his hallucinations until he realized that they could not be caged, not as long as he had no anchor. The bond cloaked him in gold as he approached the area. Lucifer sat in the center, on a throne made of what looked like human bones, waiting.
"So, brother, it has come to this," the archangel said regretfully, spreading his hands as if to indicate the chamber.
Castiel shook his head.
"You are not Lucifer," he said calmly, with an absolute certainty he hadn’t felt in months. Lucifer's form fizzled, throne and archangel briefly appearing as the dark red mass of madness it truly was before snapping back. Even so, Castiel had seen it.
"Are you certain, Cassie?" Lucifer asked silkily, pushing himself up to stand. Castiel lifted a hand and held it out, palm facing the hallucination and fingers splayed. His eyes and hand began to glow pure white and a circle of light suddenly ignited, Lucifer and his throne at the center. Lucifer glared at the light hatefully, form flickering once more between what he truly was and how first Sam and then Castiel had seen him. Jets of white light sprang from the outline, curving well over Lucifer's head to fuse together. Within seconds, there was a dome-like cage around Lucifer, trapping him.
Lucifer laughed, cold and ugly.
"Do you really think this flimsy thing can hold me for long?" he asked walking up to one of the bars and flicking it with a finger. It vibrated. Lucifer scoffed. "It's barely better than your previous attempts, and those hardly worked well for you, did they?"
Castiel ignored him and brought his other hand up, concentrating on the bond he shared with Dean. He could still vaguely sense the hunter's mind, though it felt miles away and was shrouded by sleep. He reached and felt Dean respond unconsciously, his soul opening up and offering whatever energy Cas needed to make the Cage complete.
Lucifer's smirk vanished as the thin bars of his cage suddenly thickened and grew, spreading outwards towards one another to make an unbroken whole. His face contorted in rage and he exploded outwards into a cloud of red smoke, darting for the quickly-vanishing holes in the Cage.
The Cage sealed itself, trapping the madness inside. Castiel watched it rage against the translucent gold-and-white glowing walls, relieved when, despite the shaking, the walls showed no signs of immediate collapse.
The smoke coalesced into Lucifer again, though this time he was uniformly the color of blood from head to foot.
"This isn't over," he growled, voice no longer similar to Lucifer's. "You cannot kill me. You cannot get rid of me. I will always be here, in your head."
Castiel turned away from it and began the trip back through his consciousness to where his waking mind resided. The madness broke into an even greater frenzy then, throwing itself against the walls of its new Cage and shouting abuse, but the shouts reached Castiel's ears as mere whispers and then not even that as he returned to wakefulness.
Dean stirred next to Cas, blinking his eyes open slowly and making sleepy, questioning noises.
"Go back to sleep," Cas said softly, squeezing Dean's hip lightly. "Everything is all right."
Within minutes, Dean had dropped back off. Whether it was from the little bit of extra drain he'd feel until he grew accustomed to lending some of his power to the Cage in his bondmate's head or from trust in Castiel or some mixture of the two, Cas didn't know.
He curled up closer to Dean, thinking over his words to the hunter.
For the first time in months, his head was completely clear. Lucifer - at least Castiel's perception of him - was trapped and would trouble him no more, barring an absolute disaster. The madness would be able to whisper through any cracks in the Cage when Castiel had exhausted himself, but a few whispers were much easier to deal with than hallucinations that changed all his perception of time, place, and company.
He had Dean. He had never allowed himself to hope for completion of the bond and not only had they merged their souls, but they had melded in the human way as well. It had been glorious and Cas wouldn't mind doing it more often. Next time, he thought he wished to be the receiving partner.
He settled down to wait for morning, knowing that when dawn came, Sam would be back with breakfast for all three of them. They would discuss plans for the day and head out, seeking some way to defeat the Leviathans and taking care of any supernatural evil between here and that end goal.
And Cas would be with them.
Always.
The End
I'll be putting up a proper Masterpost for this fic tomorrow! Thank you all, I hope you enjoyed the conclusion as much as you enjoyed the journey.