Fanfiction!!! (yes, run...)
My LJ-cut isn't working because my Rich Text tab has vanished. Mysteriously. Like the love between Jace and Clary but who's making a big deal out of it heynotme.
Ahem. That J/C fanfic is coming up soon, b-t-w. I'll always love you Cassandra Clare. It's just Jace's fickleness that bugs me. GRR.
ANYWAYS. I'll just explain it, short & simple, Libba-Bray style (I <3 post: "Me turn in book". That post is like a Christmas present, but SO much better. Seriously). Here's my lame attempt...
Me bored. Me fictional (and real) boy-less. Me sad. Me cry. Me watch "Sisterhood of Traveling Pants". Me cry more. Me love Seth like Democrats write fanfic about Seth. Twilight is love. Jace in October COG cookie is Chucking jerk.
Seth is love.
Fanfic is CRAP.
ENJOY. :D (& sorry about no LJ-cut...)
____________________________________
"I give up!" I exclaimed, throwing my pencil for emphasis.
"No, no you don't, you just have to try! You can do it, I know you can--"
"No, Seth, I can't! Okay?! I'm a failure! Pre-Cal does not in any way, shape, or form, relate to life! It's ridiculous!"
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "Here, let me see."
He sat down next to me, taking my notebook. He brushed off the massive amount of eraser dust and observed my furious scribbles. I watched his expression warily, getting distracted from the features of his face.
Seth looked at the paper in concentration, squinting his deep brown eyes and furrowing his brows. He grabbed the calculator and punched in a couple of numbers. I observed every bit of Seth's actions. From the way he ran his hands through his hair to the way he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hands when he was sleepy...
Not that I liked him or anything. I just happen to be oddly observant.
He abruptly turned his face to me, giving me a smirk.
"What?" I said quietly.
"You were on the right track. You would have gotten the answer right if you just kept going."
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, all you had to do was plug it into the calculator..."
I laid my head on the table and groaned in exhasperation.
"You need to believe in yourself, that's all," he whispered.
I lifted my head off the table and looked at him. My hair fell in my eyes when I did, so I blew on it.
Seth laughed, and then reached out to brush it out of my face.
I don't want to admit it, because I don't want to sound cheesy, but... In that brief second where his hand touched my hair, my cheek... My heart beat like it never did before.
Was it because I was holding my breath?
I let my breath out in a sigh, to make it seem like I wasn't holding it. Then, I said, "I guess."
"Hey," he smiled,"at least that was your last homework problem."
"THANK GOODNESS," I said louder than necessary.
"I don't know why you're stressing out... It's just math..."
"It is never. Just. Math," I stressed.
He put both his hands up and said, "Kidding, kidding!"
I rolled my eyes.
He held up a pretend microphone and spoke into it,"Now that you've finished your homework, Ruby, what are you going to do next?"
I pretended to be annoyed, "I'm going to walk away now."
"Oh come on, you can't walk away like that! Don't you want to think about that answer once again? What about going to the Happiest Place on Earth?"
"I am on the Happiest Place on Earth! On my couch!" I said, stretching out on the loveseat. I relaxed by closing my eyes as I laid my arm against my forehead.
The bell rang at the same time I sat down. I groaned and rolled over.
Laughing, Seth said, "I'll get it."
He opened the door, and a chiming voice squealed, "hi!"
I rolled back over, almost falling off the couch.
He opened the door, and after I heard who it was, I rolled back over, almost falling off the couch.
It was the pizza delivery girl my brother always flirted with. The one who flirted back. The one who had the perfect face and perfect hair
"Did you think she was cute?"
"Are you trying to tell me something?" his tone was implying something.
"NO! I mean, yes! I mean. Ugh." I looked at the cieling in anger.
It was silent for a minute before...
"Are you jealous?"
I immediately looked at him, thinking he was trying to embarass me, but he looked at me with a confused expression.
"I-I what? Jealous? Ha. Jealous. No." I said, uncomfortably.
"Oh," he said, then, after a thought, he added,"but she was cute."
I don't know why, but I felt like my stomach fell.
Seth grabbed a slice, offering me one. I shook my head in response, "Not right now."
He shrugged, "More for me then."
I watched him eat, my arms crossed across my chest. He thought she was cute. Big deal. Why did I care? I didn't. I also didn't think she was cute either.
I grabbed the remote and turned on the television to distract me. I bit my nails and watched stupid sitcoms.
It didn't work, because the minute commercials went on, I asked, "How cute?"
"What?" he asked, his mouth full.
"How cute was she? On a scale from one to ten?"
"Hmm..."
He swallowed and thought for a minute. He looked at me once, and then back at the T.V.. I thought I saw him smile for a minute.
"I'm not sure," he took another bite of pizza.
"How are you not sure?!?!? You just saw her! Decide, man, decide!"
"She was cute, that's it."
"Yeah, sure. That's it." I mocked his deep voice, and he laughed in response.
"Are you sure you're not jealous?"
"Yeah. 100% sure." I rolled my eyes.
"I think you are jealous."
"Oh, my gosh. I swear, you're five! I just told you I'm not jealous, okay? End. Of. Story."
"Jealous about what?" my brother, Matt, came in with his bag and college textbooks in hand.
"The delivery girl," Seth grinned.
"Dude, she's hot."
Matt gave him a high five.
I clenched my teeth and stared intently at the T.V. screen.
Matt sat down next to me, and asked, "You do seem jealous."
"Okay, you know what? Yes, I am jealous. Now will you stop asking me?"
"Um, no, because you said that just so you would stop asking us," Seth said, not tearing his eyes away from the screen.
I shot him a look.
He chuckled and took another bite of pizza.
"Hey, are those guys still asking you to the prom?" Matt asked.
Seth automatically looked at me, but I pretended not to notice.
"Yeah, but I'm ignoring them. I don't really want to go."
"Why? I mean, it is pretty crappy for a prom in a gym--"
"Guys? What guys?" Seth interrupted, but Matt continued.
"--but it's still okay," he concluded.
"I don't know. I just don't want to."
"What did you tell them?"
"That I would think about it."
I felt Seth's stare, so I looked at him.
He asked, "Why would you say that?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt their feelings."
"But that would make them think that you might go with them."
"Might being the operative word." I retorted.
"So, are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Are you going to the prom with them?"
"No."
"Then why did you say that?"
"Say what?" I was so confused.
"You said... Nothing! Nothing." he put his pizza down on the table.
"Why does it even matter to you? Just mind your own business."
"I'm sorry, I thought it was my business."
"It's not. You can't just assume everything is your business."
It was like all the words vomited out of my mouth; I just wanted to gather them all up and shove them back in. But there they were, along with the endless silence that followed.
We hadn't realized that Matt left-- he had gone upstairs, probably to check his email. He was expecting an email from Mom and Dad, who were on trip to visit some family.
Was Seth jealous? I thought. I was going to ask him, until I heard the bell ring.
Seth didn't move an inch, so I got up to get it.
It was Kerry, a friend I met in 9th grade who I loved just like a sister.
"Hey, you! Hi Seth!," she came in, almost jumping up and down.
She turned to me, "Guess what!?"
"What?" I smiled, happy that she was so excited.
"I just got asked to prom!!!" she cheered.
My face fell a little, but I forced myself to smile.
"I'm so happy!!!" I gave her a hug, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Seth look over.
"I'm going with Steve! I'm so happy. Now, you, missy, have to find a date."
I laughed nervously, "Y-yeah. I'll, umm, I'll do that."
"'Kay. I have to go now, but let me know ASAP!!! We have to go dress shopping!"
"No problem. ASAP."
I walked her to the door, and she left, still jumping so much that she almost tripped on her way out.
I sat back down on the couch just as Seth said, "I should probably go now too."
I felt that stomach-flippety-droop thing again. He almost looked...sad.
Was he mad? What should I say? I hurt his feelings. Why did I have to be such a jerk?
I walked to the kitchen as he packed up his stuff into his backpack.
"Thanks for the help," I said, smiling.
It didn't help.
"No problem." he said flatly.
He walked past me, towards the front door.
Say something, you idiot. I thought.
I followed him quickly and said, "Seth, wait."
"Yeah?" he asked impatiently.
I was going to say "nothing" but I knew he would ask more about it.
"Do you want to take some pizza for your mom and Leah?"
Something flickered in his eyes, but then his face went back to being stone, "No, but thanks for asking."
"No problem." I said, sliding my hands into my back pockets.
"So, um... Bye." he said, opening the door.
"Yeah." I blinked and held the door open, "Bye."
I looked down. I couldn't look at his face.
"Ruby?"
"Yeah?" I still didn't look up.
"She wasn't that cute."
I gave a small smile, "Okay."
"No, really, Seth, it's okay--"
He stepped closer, "Personally, I think you're cuter..."
I was still going on, but after he said that, my expression went blank.
"Ha, ha," I mumbled, tracing the bottom of the door frame with my feet.
"Okay, you can think I'm joking..."
"I'm sorry Seth, I didn't mean--"
"It's okay, Ruby. Don't worry about it." I looked up at him, and he was wearing my favorite, genuine Seth smile.
I couldn't find the words to say something.
"You can go to the prom with whoever, I just..." he ran his hand through his hair,"I want you to go with someone trustworty. Someone good. I don't want you to get hurt."
I nodded.
He gave a small smile and then turned to leave.
But before he got to the edge of the porch I said, without thinking, "I told them 'no'."
"Who?" he turned around, confused.
"I--" I looked down, trying to put the words together,"I told those guys, the ones who asked me to prom... I said I didn't want to go with them."
"Oh."
It was quiet for a while. Seth soon asked the question I knew he would:
"Why?"
"Because I wanted to go with someone else."
"Oh." he repeated.
Seth broke the silence again:
"Did you ask him?"
Did Seth know I was talking about him? Should I just go on with this hypothetical case?
I looked up at him, and his expression was intense.
"I-I...No. I just... I don't think he would want to go with me... I don't know if he even likes me."
"Why wouldn't he?"
"Why would he? I mean, I'm not attractive. I'm not as pretty, clever or smart--"
"Ruby."
I continued,"--as other girls, so I don't see why anyone..."
"Ruby," he touched my arm.
I looked up, and I didn't realize my eyes were tear-filled until I saw that I could barely see Seth's face.
I looked back down to wipe my eyes, and Seth asked: "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"
I heard him drop his backpack onto the porch with a thump.
I shook my head as I continued to cry.
Seth pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back... At first, I wondered why I was crying. But I realized--I always knew, at the back of my head, that I had feelings for Seth. I always blocked those feelings out because I thought it was ruin our friendship, and I didn't want to risk our beautiful friendship if he didn't feel the same way...
I knew there were some things I lost because I told the truth, but I had good feeling about telling Seth; I couldn't explain it.
Would it be awkward if I said it now? What if he didn't feel the same way? I knew Seth for being this caring person, but...if he didn't feel the same way, then would he stop being my friend? Would he, maybe, leave me?
Before I could think about it, I was telling him. Everything.
I pulled away from him, but his hands were still rubbing my arms.
I didn't look at him when I spoke.
"I was going to tell you Seth, but I just felt like... like if I told you, it would ruin our friendship..."
"It doesn't matter to me."
"What?" I looked at him. This came out of nowhere. Didn't he know what I meant--that I was talking about him? How could it not matter?
"If you like someone, that's..." it seemed like he was troubled by the thought,"that's okay. I just care about you, and you being safe--"
That's when I hit his arm.
"Seth!"
He rubbed his arm, both confused and slightly amused: "What?"
I walked past him, to the ledge of the porch, and buried my face in my hands.
He was next to me in seconds, his hand on my back.
"Ruby?"
I had to just let it out. No matter what, I knew it's what I had to do.
I took my face out of my hands and turned to Seth.
"I wasn't talking about someone else."
"What? Then who..."
"Seth, you're stupid," I said, closing my eyes. I heard him chuckle, but then he was silent--waiting for me to continue.
"I... I wanted to tell you for a long time, and I can't keep holding it inside me, but..."
"I really really like you, and I was worried that you wouldn't feel the same way."
At first, I thought I had said it, but then I opened my eyes.
The minute I saw Seth's eyes, I knew he said it and meant it.
"What?" I mumbled in disbelief.
Well, kind of.
He took my hand,"Ruby... I've always felt this way about you."
"Who? Me? But..."
"Why are there always 'but's?" he said, annoyed.
I laughed out loud, and he joined in.
"Sorry. Rephrase," he smiled,"why don't you believe I don't feel the same way?"
"I've told you. I'm not smart, funny or charming, or, as cute as the pizza delivery girl..." I looked down, at my hands, embarrassed.
I saw him take a few steps forward; he was so close that I could feel his abnormal body heat. It was freezing outside, but now it felt like I was standing next to a heater.
"You're right, you're not cute..." he tangled his fingers in the ends of my hair and said,"you're beautiful. You're beautiful in so many ways."
I shook my head, looking towards the lawn.
"Come on, I mean, the way you just asked about my mom and Leah? Sure, it was small, but it shows you care, Ruby. I've never met anyone like you... You care about others before yourself."
He chuckled, and then pulled my face up to look at his.
He looked my face as though he were memorizing it.
"Isn't there one thing you want? Why do you have to be so selfless?"
I looked at his face the same way, and after a thought, I whispered:
"There is one thing I want..."
My face was barely an inch away, and as he whispered back, I felt his warm breath tickle my skin.
"What do you want, Ruby?"
I put my arms around him, pulling myself closer. He had a small expression of surprise, but he slid his arms around my waist with his eyes locked on mine.
I whispered: "I want you, Seth."
He kissed me. I kissed him. I swore that I heard Matt open the door and chuckle,"Stupid teenagers in love."
But that's what we were: two stupid teenagers caught in the crazy, tricky beautiful web that was love.
We kissed. I didn't think about anything else besides that he miraculously felt the same way. His lips were soft and warm against mine, and, just like Seth himself, they were so genuine. He kissed me like he meant everything he said...
It made me sure that I was dreaming.
I pulled back and smiled. He smiled back and said,"What?"
"Happiest Place on Earth," I whispered.
He chuckled and shook his head. Then his face turned so serious that I thought my heart had stopped.
"Absolutely," he said.
As I moved closer, he slid his hand into mine.
I wasn't going to let go of it anytime soon.
___________________________________
Me write cheesy fanfic. Me no edit so thats why fanfic is crap. Me writing is also crap (LOL, I sound quite Irish, just saying...). Me sorry if you choke on water and point and mock and laugh at sight of fanfic cheese.
Me go finish History homework so me watch GG and Serena slap Blair face.
Ahem. That J/C fanfic is coming up soon, b-t-w. I'll always love you Cassandra Clare. It's just Jace's fickleness that bugs me. GRR.
ANYWAYS. I'll just explain it, short & simple, Libba-Bray style (I <3 post: "Me turn in book". That post is like a Christmas present, but SO much better. Seriously). Here's my lame attempt...
Me bored. Me fictional (and real) boy-less. Me sad. Me cry. Me watch "Sisterhood of Traveling Pants". Me cry more. Me love Seth like Democrats write fanfic about Seth. Twilight is love. Jace in October COG cookie is Chucking jerk.
Seth is love.
Fanfic is CRAP.
ENJOY. :D (& sorry about no LJ-cut...)
____________________________________
"I give up!" I exclaimed, throwing my pencil for emphasis.
"No, no you don't, you just have to try! You can do it, I know you can--"
"No, Seth, I can't! Okay?! I'm a failure! Pre-Cal does not in any way, shape, or form, relate to life! It's ridiculous!"
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "Here, let me see."
He sat down next to me, taking my notebook. He brushed off the massive amount of eraser dust and observed my furious scribbles. I watched his expression warily, getting distracted from the features of his face.
Seth looked at the paper in concentration, squinting his deep brown eyes and furrowing his brows. He grabbed the calculator and punched in a couple of numbers. I observed every bit of Seth's actions. From the way he ran his hands through his hair to the way he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hands when he was sleepy...
Not that I liked him or anything. I just happen to be oddly observant.
He abruptly turned his face to me, giving me a smirk.
"What?" I said quietly.
"You were on the right track. You would have gotten the answer right if you just kept going."
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, all you had to do was plug it into the calculator..."
I laid my head on the table and groaned in exhasperation.
"You need to believe in yourself, that's all," he whispered.
I lifted my head off the table and looked at him. My hair fell in my eyes when I did, so I blew on it.
Seth laughed, and then reached out to brush it out of my face.
I don't want to admit it, because I don't want to sound cheesy, but... In that brief second where his hand touched my hair, my cheek... My heart beat like it never did before.
Was it because I was holding my breath?
I let my breath out in a sigh, to make it seem like I wasn't holding it. Then, I said, "I guess."
"Hey," he smiled,"at least that was your last homework problem."
"THANK GOODNESS," I said louder than necessary.
"I don't know why you're stressing out... It's just math..."
"It is never. Just. Math," I stressed.
He put both his hands up and said, "Kidding, kidding!"
I rolled my eyes.
He held up a pretend microphone and spoke into it,"Now that you've finished your homework, Ruby, what are you going to do next?"
I pretended to be annoyed, "I'm going to walk away now."
"Oh come on, you can't walk away like that! Don't you want to think about that answer once again? What about going to the Happiest Place on Earth?"
"I am on the Happiest Place on Earth! On my couch!" I said, stretching out on the loveseat. I relaxed by closing my eyes as I laid my arm against my forehead.
The bell rang at the same time I sat down. I groaned and rolled over.
Laughing, Seth said, "I'll get it."
He opened the door, and a chiming voice squealed, "hi!"
I rolled back over, almost falling off the couch.
He opened the door, and after I heard who it was, I rolled back over, almost falling off the couch.
It was the pizza delivery girl my brother always flirted with. The one who flirted back. The one who had the perfect face and perfect hair
"Did you think she was cute?"
"Are you trying to tell me something?" his tone was implying something.
"NO! I mean, yes! I mean. Ugh." I looked at the cieling in anger.
It was silent for a minute before...
"Are you jealous?"
I immediately looked at him, thinking he was trying to embarass me, but he looked at me with a confused expression.
"I-I what? Jealous? Ha. Jealous. No." I said, uncomfortably.
"Oh," he said, then, after a thought, he added,"but she was cute."
I don't know why, but I felt like my stomach fell.
Seth grabbed a slice, offering me one. I shook my head in response, "Not right now."
He shrugged, "More for me then."
I watched him eat, my arms crossed across my chest. He thought she was cute. Big deal. Why did I care? I didn't. I also didn't think she was cute either.
I grabbed the remote and turned on the television to distract me. I bit my nails and watched stupid sitcoms.
It didn't work, because the minute commercials went on, I asked, "How cute?"
"What?" he asked, his mouth full.
"How cute was she? On a scale from one to ten?"
"Hmm..."
He swallowed and thought for a minute. He looked at me once, and then back at the T.V.. I thought I saw him smile for a minute.
"I'm not sure," he took another bite of pizza.
"How are you not sure?!?!? You just saw her! Decide, man, decide!"
"She was cute, that's it."
"Yeah, sure. That's it." I mocked his deep voice, and he laughed in response.
"Are you sure you're not jealous?"
"Yeah. 100% sure." I rolled my eyes.
"I think you are jealous."
"Oh, my gosh. I swear, you're five! I just told you I'm not jealous, okay? End. Of. Story."
"Jealous about what?" my brother, Matt, came in with his bag and college textbooks in hand.
"The delivery girl," Seth grinned.
"Dude, she's hot."
Matt gave him a high five.
I clenched my teeth and stared intently at the T.V. screen.
Matt sat down next to me, and asked, "You do seem jealous."
"Okay, you know what? Yes, I am jealous. Now will you stop asking me?"
"Um, no, because you said that just so you would stop asking us," Seth said, not tearing his eyes away from the screen.
I shot him a look.
He chuckled and took another bite of pizza.
"Hey, are those guys still asking you to the prom?" Matt asked.
Seth automatically looked at me, but I pretended not to notice.
"Yeah, but I'm ignoring them. I don't really want to go."
"Why? I mean, it is pretty crappy for a prom in a gym--"
"Guys? What guys?" Seth interrupted, but Matt continued.
"--but it's still okay," he concluded.
"I don't know. I just don't want to."
"What did you tell them?"
"That I would think about it."
I felt Seth's stare, so I looked at him.
He asked, "Why would you say that?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt their feelings."
"But that would make them think that you might go with them."
"Might being the operative word." I retorted.
"So, are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Are you going to the prom with them?"
"No."
"Then why did you say that?"
"Say what?" I was so confused.
"You said... Nothing! Nothing." he put his pizza down on the table.
"Why does it even matter to you? Just mind your own business."
"I'm sorry, I thought it was my business."
"It's not. You can't just assume everything is your business."
It was like all the words vomited out of my mouth; I just wanted to gather them all up and shove them back in. But there they were, along with the endless silence that followed.
We hadn't realized that Matt left-- he had gone upstairs, probably to check his email. He was expecting an email from Mom and Dad, who were on trip to visit some family.
Was Seth jealous? I thought. I was going to ask him, until I heard the bell ring.
Seth didn't move an inch, so I got up to get it.
It was Kerry, a friend I met in 9th grade who I loved just like a sister.
"Hey, you! Hi Seth!," she came in, almost jumping up and down.
She turned to me, "Guess what!?"
"What?" I smiled, happy that she was so excited.
"I just got asked to prom!!!" she cheered.
My face fell a little, but I forced myself to smile.
"I'm so happy!!!" I gave her a hug, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Seth look over.
"I'm going with Steve! I'm so happy. Now, you, missy, have to find a date."
I laughed nervously, "Y-yeah. I'll, umm, I'll do that."
"'Kay. I have to go now, but let me know ASAP!!! We have to go dress shopping!"
"No problem. ASAP."
I walked her to the door, and she left, still jumping so much that she almost tripped on her way out.
I sat back down on the couch just as Seth said, "I should probably go now too."
I felt that stomach-flippety-droop thing again. He almost looked...sad.
Was he mad? What should I say? I hurt his feelings. Why did I have to be such a jerk?
I walked to the kitchen as he packed up his stuff into his backpack.
"Thanks for the help," I said, smiling.
It didn't help.
"No problem." he said flatly.
He walked past me, towards the front door.
Say something, you idiot. I thought.
I followed him quickly and said, "Seth, wait."
"Yeah?" he asked impatiently.
I was going to say "nothing" but I knew he would ask more about it.
"Do you want to take some pizza for your mom and Leah?"
Something flickered in his eyes, but then his face went back to being stone, "No, but thanks for asking."
"No problem." I said, sliding my hands into my back pockets.
"So, um... Bye." he said, opening the door.
"Yeah." I blinked and held the door open, "Bye."
I looked down. I couldn't look at his face.
"Ruby?"
"Yeah?" I still didn't look up.
"She wasn't that cute."
I gave a small smile, "Okay."
"No, really, Seth, it's okay--"
He stepped closer, "Personally, I think you're cuter..."
I was still going on, but after he said that, my expression went blank.
"Ha, ha," I mumbled, tracing the bottom of the door frame with my feet.
"Okay, you can think I'm joking..."
"I'm sorry Seth, I didn't mean--"
"It's okay, Ruby. Don't worry about it." I looked up at him, and he was wearing my favorite, genuine Seth smile.
I couldn't find the words to say something.
"You can go to the prom with whoever, I just..." he ran his hand through his hair,"I want you to go with someone trustworty. Someone good. I don't want you to get hurt."
I nodded.
He gave a small smile and then turned to leave.
But before he got to the edge of the porch I said, without thinking, "I told them 'no'."
"Who?" he turned around, confused.
"I--" I looked down, trying to put the words together,"I told those guys, the ones who asked me to prom... I said I didn't want to go with them."
"Oh."
It was quiet for a while. Seth soon asked the question I knew he would:
"Why?"
"Because I wanted to go with someone else."
"Oh." he repeated.
Seth broke the silence again:
"Did you ask him?"
Did Seth know I was talking about him? Should I just go on with this hypothetical case?
I looked up at him, and his expression was intense.
"I-I...No. I just... I don't think he would want to go with me... I don't know if he even likes me."
"Why wouldn't he?"
"Why would he? I mean, I'm not attractive. I'm not as pretty, clever or smart--"
"Ruby."
I continued,"--as other girls, so I don't see why anyone..."
"Ruby," he touched my arm.
I looked up, and I didn't realize my eyes were tear-filled until I saw that I could barely see Seth's face.
I looked back down to wipe my eyes, and Seth asked: "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"
I heard him drop his backpack onto the porch with a thump.
I shook my head as I continued to cry.
Seth pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back... At first, I wondered why I was crying. But I realized--I always knew, at the back of my head, that I had feelings for Seth. I always blocked those feelings out because I thought it was ruin our friendship, and I didn't want to risk our beautiful friendship if he didn't feel the same way...
I knew there were some things I lost because I told the truth, but I had good feeling about telling Seth; I couldn't explain it.
Would it be awkward if I said it now? What if he didn't feel the same way? I knew Seth for being this caring person, but...if he didn't feel the same way, then would he stop being my friend? Would he, maybe, leave me?
Before I could think about it, I was telling him. Everything.
I pulled away from him, but his hands were still rubbing my arms.
I didn't look at him when I spoke.
"I was going to tell you Seth, but I just felt like... like if I told you, it would ruin our friendship..."
"It doesn't matter to me."
"What?" I looked at him. This came out of nowhere. Didn't he know what I meant--that I was talking about him? How could it not matter?
"If you like someone, that's..." it seemed like he was troubled by the thought,"that's okay. I just care about you, and you being safe--"
That's when I hit his arm.
"Seth!"
He rubbed his arm, both confused and slightly amused: "What?"
I walked past him, to the ledge of the porch, and buried my face in my hands.
He was next to me in seconds, his hand on my back.
"Ruby?"
I had to just let it out. No matter what, I knew it's what I had to do.
I took my face out of my hands and turned to Seth.
"I wasn't talking about someone else."
"What? Then who..."
"Seth, you're stupid," I said, closing my eyes. I heard him chuckle, but then he was silent--waiting for me to continue.
"I... I wanted to tell you for a long time, and I can't keep holding it inside me, but..."
"I really really like you, and I was worried that you wouldn't feel the same way."
At first, I thought I had said it, but then I opened my eyes.
The minute I saw Seth's eyes, I knew he said it and meant it.
"What?" I mumbled in disbelief.
Well, kind of.
He took my hand,"Ruby... I've always felt this way about you."
"Who? Me? But..."
"Why are there always 'but's?" he said, annoyed.
I laughed out loud, and he joined in.
"Sorry. Rephrase," he smiled,"why don't you believe I don't feel the same way?"
"I've told you. I'm not smart, funny or charming, or, as cute as the pizza delivery girl..." I looked down, at my hands, embarrassed.
I saw him take a few steps forward; he was so close that I could feel his abnormal body heat. It was freezing outside, but now it felt like I was standing next to a heater.
"You're right, you're not cute..." he tangled his fingers in the ends of my hair and said,"you're beautiful. You're beautiful in so many ways."
I shook my head, looking towards the lawn.
"Come on, I mean, the way you just asked about my mom and Leah? Sure, it was small, but it shows you care, Ruby. I've never met anyone like you... You care about others before yourself."
He chuckled, and then pulled my face up to look at his.
He looked my face as though he were memorizing it.
"Isn't there one thing you want? Why do you have to be so selfless?"
I looked at his face the same way, and after a thought, I whispered:
"There is one thing I want..."
My face was barely an inch away, and as he whispered back, I felt his warm breath tickle my skin.
"What do you want, Ruby?"
I put my arms around him, pulling myself closer. He had a small expression of surprise, but he slid his arms around my waist with his eyes locked on mine.
I whispered: "I want you, Seth."
He kissed me. I kissed him. I swore that I heard Matt open the door and chuckle,"Stupid teenagers in love."
But that's what we were: two stupid teenagers caught in the crazy, tricky beautiful web that was love.
We kissed. I didn't think about anything else besides that he miraculously felt the same way. His lips were soft and warm against mine, and, just like Seth himself, they were so genuine. He kissed me like he meant everything he said...
It made me sure that I was dreaming.
I pulled back and smiled. He smiled back and said,"What?"
"Happiest Place on Earth," I whispered.
He chuckled and shook his head. Then his face turned so serious that I thought my heart had stopped.
"Absolutely," he said.
As I moved closer, he slid his hand into mine.
I wasn't going to let go of it anytime soon.
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Me write cheesy fanfic. Me no edit so thats why fanfic is crap. Me writing is also crap (LOL, I sound quite Irish, just saying...). Me sorry if you choke on water and point and mock and laugh at sight of fanfic cheese.
Me go finish History homework so me watch GG and Serena slap Blair face.