My Mental Health
So, I finally made the call and scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist, well it ended up being a psychiatric nurse practitioner, but it amounts to the same thing. That was not an easy call to make, especially since I first had to call my insurance company to find out what psychiatrists are covered; I also had to tell them why I was seeking care.
I was really nervous about going to the appointment. I almost talked myself out of it several times. I probably would have if it hadn't been for the fact that we were able to get a friend to watch the kids. I knew he was coming to watch them, so I didn't have any excuse not to go.
The appointment itself ended up being easier than I expected. There were tears, but I kind of expected that. Elizabeth (the nurse practitioner) was really nice and easy to talk to. She ended up telling me that I have Major Depressive Disorder with mild/moderate Anxiety. She gave me a prescription for Celexa and is going to give me a referral to a therapist. She didn't even blink when I told her I was breastfeeding, which is something I was worried about. I've heard a lot of stories of women having trouble getting prescriptions while breastfeeding, even though there are drugs that are considered safe. She just pulled up the drug info to double check the safety, and when she couldn't find what she wanted she called the pharmacist to check. She told me that breastfeeding just means we might have to be more selective about what medicines we use. We don't want to do anything that might hurt the baby, but at the same time it hurts the baby to have a mom who can't function and feels horrible, so helping me is important.
One thing she said really kind of stuck with me. She said she looks at depression kind of like diabetes. You may have a genetic predisposition that makes it more likely for you to get it. Once you have it you use medication, lifestyle changes and therapy to get things under control. The goal is to get the illness under control enough so that medication can be reduced or eliminated.
I'm on the lowest dose of Celexa and she wants to monitor that before we decide if it needs to be changed. I started it last night. She told me that it can make some people drowsy, and, since I'm having trouble sleeping, it might help me to take it at night. I figured night would be easier for me to remember anyway since Darrell will be home. About an hour after I took it I was ready to drop. I'm still not 100% convinced that it was the meds, but I got the best sleep I've had in a long time. Darrell told me that even if all the medication does is help me sleep he figures it's worth it (Apparently my insomnia has been keeping him up)
So, I'm depressed, but I'm working on it now. It's a process, but somehow just having a diagnosis helps. I mean it's like now I can be sure it's not all in my head. There is something wrong that can be treated. It's not something that I can or should be taking care of on my own. In fact, not getting help could have made things worse. There was a part of me that still felt like I was just making it up and I should be able to handle my life, but having her agree with me that there was something wrong and it wasn't just me is so freeing.
I was really nervous about going to the appointment. I almost talked myself out of it several times. I probably would have if it hadn't been for the fact that we were able to get a friend to watch the kids. I knew he was coming to watch them, so I didn't have any excuse not to go.
The appointment itself ended up being easier than I expected. There were tears, but I kind of expected that. Elizabeth (the nurse practitioner) was really nice and easy to talk to. She ended up telling me that I have Major Depressive Disorder with mild/moderate Anxiety. She gave me a prescription for Celexa and is going to give me a referral to a therapist. She didn't even blink when I told her I was breastfeeding, which is something I was worried about. I've heard a lot of stories of women having trouble getting prescriptions while breastfeeding, even though there are drugs that are considered safe. She just pulled up the drug info to double check the safety, and when she couldn't find what she wanted she called the pharmacist to check. She told me that breastfeeding just means we might have to be more selective about what medicines we use. We don't want to do anything that might hurt the baby, but at the same time it hurts the baby to have a mom who can't function and feels horrible, so helping me is important.
One thing she said really kind of stuck with me. She said she looks at depression kind of like diabetes. You may have a genetic predisposition that makes it more likely for you to get it. Once you have it you use medication, lifestyle changes and therapy to get things under control. The goal is to get the illness under control enough so that medication can be reduced or eliminated.
I'm on the lowest dose of Celexa and she wants to monitor that before we decide if it needs to be changed. I started it last night. She told me that it can make some people drowsy, and, since I'm having trouble sleeping, it might help me to take it at night. I figured night would be easier for me to remember anyway since Darrell will be home. About an hour after I took it I was ready to drop. I'm still not 100% convinced that it was the meds, but I got the best sleep I've had in a long time. Darrell told me that even if all the medication does is help me sleep he figures it's worth it (Apparently my insomnia has been keeping him up)
So, I'm depressed, but I'm working on it now. It's a process, but somehow just having a diagnosis helps. I mean it's like now I can be sure it's not all in my head. There is something wrong that can be treated. It's not something that I can or should be taking care of on my own. In fact, not getting help could have made things worse. There was a part of me that still felt like I was just making it up and I should be able to handle my life, but having her agree with me that there was something wrong and it wasn't just me is so freeing.