Island in the Sea of Time by S.M. Stirling - book 1
Island in the Sea of Time by S.M. Stirling - book 1
"Set in 1998, the whole island of Nantucket suddenly gets attacked by the Southern Lights or Wildfire or Wyldfyre or some strange bright and shiny electrical wierdness... and suddenly, the whole island magically gets sent back in time to The Bronze Age, around 1250 or so. Be prepared for historical awesomeness and the modern day people who struggle to adjust while dazzling the natives with their awesomeness and sheer Godlike awesomeness!" (ok, this may or may not be exactly what the back of the book says... but I'm pretty sure it's almost correct. )
:: Sigh ::
I was pretty excited to get given the three book series by a friend for Xmas.. she helpfully paid for the download and I put them right onto my Iriver e-reader... but, it's taken this long to get around to reading them. However, I just don't have the heart to tell her I absolutely detest this series and if I could get a hold of S. M. Stirling, I would like to punch him in the face and ask him why he thought it was acceptable to hand in a first or second draft as a finished copy?
Where do I start with this one? How about the only black person on the Island is also the token lesbian? Sure, there might be more black people but none are ever mentioned. How about the massive jumps in character dialogues? The story jumps from person to person without warning.. one moment you are reading about the token black lesbian getting her knickers in a knot about Celtic slaves to the Nantucket police chief suddenly mentioning that he has been engaged for a whole day and he loves it! Seriously, the sheer amount of times I've been reading and spat out 'F'ing hell.. not again!!' because I've suddenly become disorientated with whom I'm supposed to be reading about at that moment?
How about the only Jewish woman on the island suddenly crawling into bed with a guy almost twice her age simply because he is the only Jewish man left 'in the world'? Ugh. How about all the 'oh wow, that's so damned lucky!' moments.. such as.. the main boat, The Eagle, not being scrapped before 'The Event' (what the time shift is called by the Nantuckians) even though it's way past it's prime.. nor a couple of the other larger boats despite being scheduled for scrapping later that year and the fact that they have a blacksmith who just happened to be visiting the island that day? Hmm, what else about this book makes me want to resort to violence?
How about the 150 suicides in 6 weeks from a population of around 7000? A figure that is actually just an off the cuff remark from one character to the token black lesbian. Oh, and the fact that The Eagle's voyage from Nantucket to England takes 6 weeks, however, the book only describes that in about 4 pages... and those 4 pages are full of 'hoist the sail, tie the line, steady ahead!' and other incredibly boring nautical terms? Oh, and hey, wasn't it lucky that the Island had those horribly annoying wind turbines installed only a few months ago, you know, the ones everyone whinged about but are now totally in love with?
You know what else is lucky? That the Nantuckians only managed to kill one native American Indian with their germy germs... and his death really wasn't a huge deal.. pretty much shrugged off like.. pfft, gave him anti-biotics.. they didn't take so it's really his own fault for dying. Now.. correct me if I am wrong.. sure, the Nantuckians may have killed a Native American with their germs.. and decided never to visit them again in order to keep them safe but had no such qualms in regards to travelling to England and spreading their germs there? BTW, in the book, their germs didn't kill any New New Englanders or any of the traders visiting the English tribes... obviously, native americans are just weak.
Other bits of shite I hated....
- The blonde slave girl being a total Mary Sue in the fact that she had perfect teeth, athletic body, great spirit, astonishing memory, almost perfect ability to learn new languages, had been gang raped by about a dozen men but apart from a few nights of screaming, she's perfectly ok because they bred them strong back then! She is so exceptional, she was allowed to join a mans gang/rough army in order to get revenge for her Man's damaged kneecap! Mary Sue is actually from a royal family, so is obviously a pretty classy lady, why hello there! Also, she is a natural when it comes to learning martial arts from the token black lesbian, who totally has the hots for her and really really wants to get in her man damaged vagina! Ugh.
- The token black lebsian getting her knickers in a knot about being given a blonde slavegirl as a sign of respect by a Celtic warlord.. and she is the only one who is annoyed by it. Seriously, grow the fuck up and, literally, get with the times. However, we are not told why she is so annoyed by it.. is it because she is black.. is it because she is a feminist.. is it because she is a decent human being.. is it because she would prefer a man slave?
- The decision to maroon about 18 people on another island for a year as punishment for setting fires around the town. WTF? First they are complaining that they won't get all the crop sowing done and now, instead of making these 18 people work as convicts during the day and lock them up at night.. they are basically disposing of 18 able bodied people? Oh, and the reason for the fire is never really given at all.. just some gibberish about ancient fire damage being discovered in 1886 or whatever?
- The decision by the token black lesbian, who is - surprise surprise - the captain of trading ship, The Eagle, to punish a man for sexual harassment and attempted rape by dragging him behind the ship... yes, behind the ship.. methinks some shark will get a very tasty treat? WTF? Sure, the guy needs severe punishment and it is a captains decision as to what to dole out when on her/his ship... but seriously? Give him all the crap jobs like latrine duty for the whole voyage and then lock him up once home?
- Teenagers. They don't exist in Nantucket apparantly. So, we never learn how being cut off from McDonald's and Ultima Online affects them. Are they devestated about not going to college or totally excited about the literal reboot of their society? How do they cope about not seeing their boyfriend/girlfriend ever again? Or their very real loss of independance as they now have to work in order to ensure the survival of a group collective?
- Why are no people being apprenticed out to the firefighters, the doctors, the pharmacists, the midwife (if they have one), the mechanic, the blacksmith and so on, in order to ensure that essential skills are passed on for when the elders die off?
- The Nantuckians are able to suddenly tap into skills that they have never before possessed and harpoon whales and know *everything* there is to know about hunting them. Again, correct me if I am wrong but wasn't whale hunting a bloody dangerous career and dozens of men were killed every year and heaps of boats destroyed with many more men crippled for life? But you know, these Nantuckians are 'speshul' and totally awesome.
- Oh, they also know everything there is to know about land clearing, sowing crops, making tools, raising live stock, breeding livestock, making their own material, making a nettle tea for diabetics for when their insulin runs out... just frackin' everything! Sure, I know they have raided the local library for relevant reading material.. but nothing makes up for practical experience.. but that doesn't matter to this writer because everyone on the island is a total Mary Sue/Stu and thus, perfect at everything they do or even think!
Would you believe that all the above is just from the first 200 pages of a 500 page book? Yeah, it hurts my head as well. I gave up after 223 pages.
"Set in 1998, the whole island of Nantucket suddenly gets attacked by the Southern Lights or Wildfire or Wyldfyre or some strange bright and shiny electrical wierdness... and suddenly, the whole island magically gets sent back in time to The Bronze Age, around 1250 or so. Be prepared for historical awesomeness and the modern day people who struggle to adjust while dazzling the natives with their awesomeness and sheer Godlike awesomeness!" (ok, this may or may not be exactly what the back of the book says... but I'm pretty sure it's almost correct. )
:: Sigh ::
I was pretty excited to get given the three book series by a friend for Xmas.. she helpfully paid for the download and I put them right onto my Iriver e-reader... but, it's taken this long to get around to reading them. However, I just don't have the heart to tell her I absolutely detest this series and if I could get a hold of S. M. Stirling, I would like to punch him in the face and ask him why he thought it was acceptable to hand in a first or second draft as a finished copy?
Where do I start with this one? How about the only black person on the Island is also the token lesbian? Sure, there might be more black people but none are ever mentioned. How about the massive jumps in character dialogues? The story jumps from person to person without warning.. one moment you are reading about the token black lesbian getting her knickers in a knot about Celtic slaves to the Nantucket police chief suddenly mentioning that he has been engaged for a whole day and he loves it! Seriously, the sheer amount of times I've been reading and spat out 'F'ing hell.. not again!!' because I've suddenly become disorientated with whom I'm supposed to be reading about at that moment?
How about the only Jewish woman on the island suddenly crawling into bed with a guy almost twice her age simply because he is the only Jewish man left 'in the world'? Ugh. How about all the 'oh wow, that's so damned lucky!' moments.. such as.. the main boat, The Eagle, not being scrapped before 'The Event' (what the time shift is called by the Nantuckians) even though it's way past it's prime.. nor a couple of the other larger boats despite being scheduled for scrapping later that year and the fact that they have a blacksmith who just happened to be visiting the island that day? Hmm, what else about this book makes me want to resort to violence?
How about the 150 suicides in 6 weeks from a population of around 7000? A figure that is actually just an off the cuff remark from one character to the token black lesbian. Oh, and the fact that The Eagle's voyage from Nantucket to England takes 6 weeks, however, the book only describes that in about 4 pages... and those 4 pages are full of 'hoist the sail, tie the line, steady ahead!' and other incredibly boring nautical terms? Oh, and hey, wasn't it lucky that the Island had those horribly annoying wind turbines installed only a few months ago, you know, the ones everyone whinged about but are now totally in love with?
You know what else is lucky? That the Nantuckians only managed to kill one native American Indian with their germy germs... and his death really wasn't a huge deal.. pretty much shrugged off like.. pfft, gave him anti-biotics.. they didn't take so it's really his own fault for dying. Now.. correct me if I am wrong.. sure, the Nantuckians may have killed a Native American with their germs.. and decided never to visit them again in order to keep them safe but had no such qualms in regards to travelling to England and spreading their germs there? BTW, in the book, their germs didn't kill any New New Englanders or any of the traders visiting the English tribes... obviously, native americans are just weak.
Other bits of shite I hated....
- The blonde slave girl being a total Mary Sue in the fact that she had perfect teeth, athletic body, great spirit, astonishing memory, almost perfect ability to learn new languages, had been gang raped by about a dozen men but apart from a few nights of screaming, she's perfectly ok because they bred them strong back then! She is so exceptional, she was allowed to join a mans gang/rough army in order to get revenge for her Man's damaged kneecap! Mary Sue is actually from a royal family, so is obviously a pretty classy lady, why hello there! Also, she is a natural when it comes to learning martial arts from the token black lesbian, who totally has the hots for her and really really wants to get in her man damaged vagina! Ugh.
- The token black lebsian getting her knickers in a knot about being given a blonde slavegirl as a sign of respect by a Celtic warlord.. and she is the only one who is annoyed by it. Seriously, grow the fuck up and, literally, get with the times. However, we are not told why she is so annoyed by it.. is it because she is black.. is it because she is a feminist.. is it because she is a decent human being.. is it because she would prefer a man slave?
- The decision to maroon about 18 people on another island for a year as punishment for setting fires around the town. WTF? First they are complaining that they won't get all the crop sowing done and now, instead of making these 18 people work as convicts during the day and lock them up at night.. they are basically disposing of 18 able bodied people? Oh, and the reason for the fire is never really given at all.. just some gibberish about ancient fire damage being discovered in 1886 or whatever?
- The decision by the token black lesbian, who is - surprise surprise - the captain of trading ship, The Eagle, to punish a man for sexual harassment and attempted rape by dragging him behind the ship... yes, behind the ship.. methinks some shark will get a very tasty treat? WTF? Sure, the guy needs severe punishment and it is a captains decision as to what to dole out when on her/his ship... but seriously? Give him all the crap jobs like latrine duty for the whole voyage and then lock him up once home?
- Teenagers. They don't exist in Nantucket apparantly. So, we never learn how being cut off from McDonald's and Ultima Online affects them. Are they devestated about not going to college or totally excited about the literal reboot of their society? How do they cope about not seeing their boyfriend/girlfriend ever again? Or their very real loss of independance as they now have to work in order to ensure the survival of a group collective?
- Why are no people being apprenticed out to the firefighters, the doctors, the pharmacists, the midwife (if they have one), the mechanic, the blacksmith and so on, in order to ensure that essential skills are passed on for when the elders die off?
- The Nantuckians are able to suddenly tap into skills that they have never before possessed and harpoon whales and know *everything* there is to know about hunting them. Again, correct me if I am wrong but wasn't whale hunting a bloody dangerous career and dozens of men were killed every year and heaps of boats destroyed with many more men crippled for life? But you know, these Nantuckians are 'speshul' and totally awesome.
- Oh, they also know everything there is to know about land clearing, sowing crops, making tools, raising live stock, breeding livestock, making their own material, making a nettle tea for diabetics for when their insulin runs out... just frackin' everything! Sure, I know they have raided the local library for relevant reading material.. but nothing makes up for practical experience.. but that doesn't matter to this writer because everyone on the island is a total Mary Sue/Stu and thus, perfect at everything they do or even think!
Would you believe that all the above is just from the first 200 pages of a 500 page book? Yeah, it hurts my head as well. I gave up after 223 pages.