because it's finally Monday somewhere:
Dear Andrew Neiderman:
It's very obvious you don't want to be the VC Andrews ghostwriter anymore.
Maybe it started with the Hudson series which was pretty much a copy of the Cutler series.
Maybe it was the Shooting Stars series where I'm certain you had to constantly bite your tongue to keep from laughing to death as you wrote of the character who was named Ice in all seriousness.
Maybe it was the De Beers series that had to include shameless plugs letters from characters from other series.
Maybe it was Midnight Flight that was stereotype-riddled from the Noble Indian Medicine Man/Spirit Guide to the Big Bad Butch Dyke Guards.
Maybe it was the Gemini series when not only did you never provide an explanation for why the Spooky Forces that Crazy Granola Mommy listened to had to make Celeste take her dead brother's identity (and really I would've been grateful for any explanation, even a crappy one), not only did you have one chapter mention the Mystery Dead Baby in the graveyard that was actually Mommy's from when her uncle molested her ages ago and never brought up again in pure What Happened To The Mouse fashion, you copy-pasted the exact same set of paragraphs into two different books detailing the futile search for two different missing people.
Maybe it was the Shadows series that promised to be "THE SERIES THAT BREAKS ALL THE RULES"...and it turns out the protagonist's older sister is a lesbian. Yeah, about 30 years too late for that plot twist to be shocking, my good sir.
Or maybe it was the Heavenstone books that made so little friggin' sense by the end I needed one of those fanwikis as I read along.
But it appears this Daughter Of Darkness was the last straw on your sanity.
I can just hear the discussion over at Pocket Books:
"Hmm, you heard of this new-fangled Twilight stuff the kids are getting into? That's what we need, Neiderman, a vampire book!"
"Uh, but, sir, these books are supposed to be family sagas, vampires aren't very realistic-"
But alas. So instead you write of this vampire clan (only nobody uses the v-word until like 366 pages in) that appears to be all female except the man who sires and mates with them all (because it just ain't VCA without incest, amirite?), and who requires his daughters to bring him young men every month so he can feast off their blood (not getting into the homoerotic subtext here). And one of the daughters dares to fall in love with one of the men she's supposed to bring, making for chapters and chapters of "BUT I WANT TO BE DADDY'S BEST DAUGHTER WAAAAAAA"ngst and eventually defies the family and runs off, yadayadayada. And there's something about "renegades" wanting to do the clan in, only none of them ever show up. Since this appears to be a standalone title, looks like you're leaving it there.
Sir, I'm not necessarily saying you're a terrible writer, because I've read some of the works under your real name, and it's very obvious why the family gave you the official Ghostwriter Stamp Of Approval, at least in the beginning anyway. Maybe you're just tired of filling in the templates, and after thirty or so years, I couldn't blame you. I can only hopefully assume that you do have a fair share of the residuals that isn't coming into VCA's estate...maybe it's time to hire a ghost for the ghostwriter? Or at the very least go "eff you Pocket Books I'm doing my own material from now on"?
It's very obvious you don't want to be the VC Andrews ghostwriter anymore.
Maybe it started with the Hudson series which was pretty much a copy of the Cutler series.
Maybe it was the Shooting Stars series where I'm certain you had to constantly bite your tongue to keep from laughing to death as you wrote of the character who was named Ice in all seriousness.
Maybe it was the De Beers series that had to include shameless plugs letters from characters from other series.
Maybe it was Midnight Flight that was stereotype-riddled from the Noble Indian Medicine Man/Spirit Guide to the Big Bad Butch Dyke Guards.
Maybe it was the Gemini series when not only did you never provide an explanation for why the Spooky Forces that Crazy Granola Mommy listened to had to make Celeste take her dead brother's identity (and really I would've been grateful for any explanation, even a crappy one), not only did you have one chapter mention the Mystery Dead Baby in the graveyard that was actually Mommy's from when her uncle molested her ages ago and never brought up again in pure What Happened To The Mouse fashion, you copy-pasted the exact same set of paragraphs into two different books detailing the futile search for two different missing people.
Maybe it was the Shadows series that promised to be "THE SERIES THAT BREAKS ALL THE RULES"...and it turns out the protagonist's older sister is a lesbian. Yeah, about 30 years too late for that plot twist to be shocking, my good sir.
Or maybe it was the Heavenstone books that made so little friggin' sense by the end I needed one of those fanwikis as I read along.
But it appears this Daughter Of Darkness was the last straw on your sanity.
I can just hear the discussion over at Pocket Books:
"Hmm, you heard of this new-fangled Twilight stuff the kids are getting into? That's what we need, Neiderman, a vampire book!"
"Uh, but, sir, these books are supposed to be family sagas, vampires aren't very realistic-"
But alas. So instead you write of this vampire clan (only nobody uses the v-word until like 366 pages in) that appears to be all female except the man who sires and mates with them all (because it just ain't VCA without incest, amirite?), and who requires his daughters to bring him young men every month so he can feast off their blood (not getting into the homoerotic subtext here). And one of the daughters dares to fall in love with one of the men she's supposed to bring, making for chapters and chapters of "BUT I WANT TO BE DADDY'S BEST DAUGHTER WAAAAAAA"ngst and eventually defies the family and runs off, yadayadayada. And there's something about "renegades" wanting to do the clan in, only none of them ever show up. Since this appears to be a standalone title, looks like you're leaving it there.
Sir, I'm not necessarily saying you're a terrible writer, because I've read some of the works under your real name, and it's very obvious why the family gave you the official Ghostwriter Stamp Of Approval, at least in the beginning anyway. Maybe you're just tired of filling in the templates, and after thirty or so years, I couldn't blame you. I can only hopefully assume that you do have a fair share of the residuals that isn't coming into VCA's estate...maybe it's time to hire a ghost for the ghostwriter? Or at the very least go "eff you Pocket Books I'm doing my own material from now on"?