Dream Journal: Not so much anger anymore
Usually when I dream about Lex, she's following me around and insisting on acting as though we're still friends, and that she's not mad at me, and that she doesn't think I'm mad at her. This is NOT the case IRL, because for the longest time I was pretty convinced that I wanted to beat the shit out of her and curbstomp everything she owned. So when I have dreams like these, where she's still all adoring and sickly sweet, I wake up and spend the rest of my day in a slight rage.
This time I had a dream that I was visiting her in MA. It wasn't really MA, though, and whatever house we were in wasn't hers. But there we were, and we spent the day driving around and looking at schools and fields and suchlike. I think we also stopped for ice cream, but I have no idea. This is all very fuzzily remembered from this morning.
SO. Later we're taken home by her dad (who, in the dream, wasn't HER dad, but Maggie's. And possibly also the janitor from work.) and she and I go into this room that I guess is hers? But there's all these costumes hanging from the ceiling, and she wants us to dress up. There's some kind of irritation from me about my clothing, because I don't have a change of pants or something, and that my entire outfit is stupid and wrong. I really can't remember, but I do know that I wasn't interested in playing dress-up.
Lex sulked on her bed, crying, and confessed to me that she was really lonely, and felt like no one liked her. She said, "I don't have any friends here! I don't have anyone!"
This was pretty reminiscent of what she would always tell me, back when we still only knew each other over IMs. And IRL I might have said something derpy like, "well I'M your friend. 8B"
But in the dream, instead of getting pissed off, or backing down and being friends again, I just said, "Don't worry. You'll meet people in no time."
This was a pretty pointless dream, for the most part. But I think it kind of meant that I'm ready to move on from being so pissed off at her. I will never be her friend again. In fact, I'll never even TALK to her again, if I can help it. But I'm thinking that most of the vehemence is going away, and what's left is just a bit of distaste and pity.
And also complete befuddlement at her stupid, stupid writing.
This time I had a dream that I was visiting her in MA. It wasn't really MA, though, and whatever house we were in wasn't hers. But there we were, and we spent the day driving around and looking at schools and fields and suchlike. I think we also stopped for ice cream, but I have no idea. This is all very fuzzily remembered from this morning.
SO. Later we're taken home by her dad (who, in the dream, wasn't HER dad, but Maggie's. And possibly also the janitor from work.) and she and I go into this room that I guess is hers? But there's all these costumes hanging from the ceiling, and she wants us to dress up. There's some kind of irritation from me about my clothing, because I don't have a change of pants or something, and that my entire outfit is stupid and wrong. I really can't remember, but I do know that I wasn't interested in playing dress-up.
Lex sulked on her bed, crying, and confessed to me that she was really lonely, and felt like no one liked her. She said, "I don't have any friends here! I don't have anyone!"
This was pretty reminiscent of what she would always tell me, back when we still only knew each other over IMs. And IRL I might have said something derpy like, "well I'M your friend. 8B"
But in the dream, instead of getting pissed off, or backing down and being friends again, I just said, "Don't worry. You'll meet people in no time."
This was a pretty pointless dream, for the most part. But I think it kind of meant that I'm ready to move on from being so pissed off at her. I will never be her friend again. In fact, I'll never even TALK to her again, if I can help it. But I'm thinking that most of the vehemence is going away, and what's left is just a bit of distaste and pity.
And also complete befuddlement at her stupid, stupid writing.