Comments | booju_newju: Wedding bells

babyfevertime in booju_newju

Wedding bells

Oct 25, 2010 18:43

Let's say you have a grown child and have the ability--and desire--to help your engaged child pay for his/her wedding. You pay deposits for vendors and are not experiencing major financial hardship because of it. The day before the wedding, your grown child calls it off, and tearfully tells you he/she will pay you back every cent you spent. ( Read more... )

Comments 22

owlsarentaholes October 25 2010, 23:51:31 UTC

Child will NOT pay me back. I'd help with whatever needed to be done to call it off.

I'd pay again for another engagement/wedding.

I called off my wedding six months before it was supposed to happen. My mom lost a lot of money because of it . . . but she was happy I made the right choice.

velvetpage October 25 2010, 23:53:10 UTC

If they insist on paying me back, I'll let them, but very slowly. I won't insist on them paying me back. I'd rather have them call it off at the last minute than make that mistake. IMO, one of the biggest downsides to the wedding industry is that it makes it very hard for people to decide at the last minute not to get married.

The next time, I'd encourage them to go slowly, go for premarital counselling, and otherwise take care that this is the real thing. If they were doing all that, I'd still help them.

dongseverywhere October 26 2010, 00:01:11 UTC

yep. they're an adult.

dongseverywhere October 26 2010, 00:02:05 UTC

and of course i'd help again, but probably not as much as before and i'd hope they understood why

jaleco October 26 2010, 00:13:11 UTC

I wouldn't expect child to pay me back. I would not fund the next wedding unless I was super rich.

If I had the money to spend and the wedding went off successfully I would probably help them buy a house.

But I'm one who had a dinky wedding of 20 guests and cost in total ---maybe-- a grand tops. I personally don't see the point in dropping tons of cash for a party. (though if you are going to do it and invite me I may as well enjoy your efforts!)

gal_chen October 26 2010, 00:23:43 UTC

It's difficult for me to answer this question because it is very unlikely that I would ever pay for my child's wedding.

If I were somehow inclined to, then no, I don't think I would ask for my money back in this situation. I would be too relieved that they weren't going through with a marriage that was clearly wrong for them.