Painted red, sweet arm calligraphy! [8/?]
Title: Painted red, sweet arm calligraphy! [8/?]
Author: boogymanprodigy
Pairing: FeeXGee
Rating: Soft R
Summary: Gerard is a pretty unpopular student who is obsessed with writing. One day he finds a poem on his his locker door and makes it his job to find the anonymous writer.
Disclaimer: Pure work of fiction!
Warning: Self Mutilation, Swearing, 'Fag Drags', boysecks, death
Authors Note:This is a short sad chapter.
Prologue!
The dark goes away! Just open your eyes!
Hold on (part 1)
hold on (part 2)
When you find something new your old toys get locked in the toy box.
I'm not your angel and your not my anonymous.
Now you're hoping for more. Everytime good happens. Bad must follow. That's just life.
People always say when one door closes, two doors open, but what they don’t get is you might not always want what’s behind the two new doors. What was behind the first door will never be the same as the next two doors. Half the time you don’t want the new opportunities, just the old ones.
I would have given anything to change tonight’s events. I would of asked William over instead of Frankie. Regret is a terrible thing to feel. It’s one thing that is only time consuming and never beneficial to whomever is doing it. Though I still can’t help, but wish I could have done today all over.
I woke up in a hospital bed. I asked what happened and the nurse explained I had passed out and hit my head off the pavement. First I thought maybe the thing with William was a dream. Then I saw Frankie and Mrs. Beckette coming in and I knew it was all true.
Mrs. Beckette looked like she has just been shot through the heart. Her eyes were shrink wrapped in tears as she sat down in one of the seats besides my bed. “How is he?” I asked my voice was no more than a whisper. Did I really want to know? What if I didn’t like what I heard? I knew I would have to face it eventually. “He, didn’t make it,” she said. Her voice was so cold. Her tears were long gone and all that was left was a stone heart.
I finally heard the choked sobs and realized I had started crying. Why did this have to happen? Everything was so perfect and then it was like then at that moment God chose to punish me. Mrs. Beckette was hugging me tightly ‘shhhhh-ing’ me as she rubbed circles into my back. I could tell she needed this hug more than I did, but I wasn’t going to complain. After all I may have lost a best friend, but she lost a son.
Now both men were gone from her life. When William was little, his dad was killed in a shooting at a McDonalds. His mom did all she could to protect her son by keeping him out of sports and getting him into poetry and a safe place, but now that was all gone. He to was joining his dad in the ground.
“They caught them” I looked up to see Frankie nervously eyeing us. “The boys who did it to him. The police caught them.” He said trying to help the situation. “Who. .?” dare I ask. “Bob Bryar, Gabe Saporta, and Jeph Howard” he said looking down at the floor.
Realization dawned at me. Those boys were from our school, but not only that. These boys were Frankie’s best friends. “They did it because of you.” I muttered and he looked up at me his eyes wide with guilt. “This is your fault! You were happy to see William mad today! I bet you planned this!” I yelled at him. “No gee I-” he started, but I had heard enough “get out. GET OUT” I screamed and he scrambled out of the room.
I spent the rest of the night just hugging and comforting Mrs. Beckette. I got home the next morning. Frankie’s book bag wasn’t there. He obviously came and picked it up. I really couldn’t care after all of that. I had laid down on my bed and flipped the stereo on popping on William’s favorite CD. I just wanted to think of the good times I had with him. The biggest regret running through my mind was of the day of the carnival, why didn’t I kiss him back?
I padded out of my room and into the bathroom. I looked through the cabinet under the sink before locating my mettle friend. I hadn’t used him in so long. I thought before I sat down against the wall and began to dig the blade into my forearms dragging it down. It stung so badly, but at the same time the dull throb that would come after followed by the drops of blood emerging to the surface would make it all worth it.
I’m not saying it felt good. Really cutting never did. It really wasn’t this cliché thing that ‘hurt so good’. I just felt the pang in my heart subside because my mind was too focused on the stinging pain and the dull throb that always followed. By the end of my cutting session I just sat there breathing staring at the red.
I heard a noise and then looked up to see Mikey and Brendon in the bathroom doorway staring down at my arm. Mikey sighed moving over to the cabinet pulling out rubbing alcohol and a rag. He sat down in front of me taking my arm pouring the alcohol over it. I hissed and tried to pull back but he held me in place as he dabbed over the cuts.
We all stood up and he led me to the living room where Brendon went off to make coffee as we sat there on the couch. His hand rubbed my back soothingly much like how Mrs. Beckette did last night. Brendon came back with 2 mugs setting them down before sitting next to me on my other side. Mikey then cleared his throat before asking, “What’s wrong this time?”
It wasn’t condescending in the least bit. Mikey just knew me well enough that I only had cut in the past when bad things happened. “William’s dead” I croaked. His eyes widened at my statement. “What? How?” he asked. “Stupid fucking Frankie’s friends decided to have a fag drag,” I snarled as the thought of those jerks came back to my mind.
“Frankie dropped his friends yesterday though” he said. Was he defending him? It then clicked in my head what he had said. Mikey was right. Frank had decided to leave his friends. He couldn’t have set it up. That made me feel worse at that moment because Frankie probably was crushed and knowing him he isn’t even mad at me.
We spent the rest of the after noon watching sad movies. I ended up crying a lot but not over the movies. Brendon and Mikey just cuddled me and allowed me to drench their shirts. It meant a lot to me especially since I knew Mikey was never very fond of William.
When my mother got home the story once again was explained of his death, though the more I said it out loud the more I accepted the fact it was true. It still hurt like hell. He was so young and still had so much ahead of him.
My mom let me stay home that week from school. I ended up holding up in my room not even coming out for food. I kind of lost my motivation and will power to even change my clothes in the morning. I just lay in my bed staring at my ceiling. I used to be like this before. I used to be really depressed when I was younger. I never had any friends and one day I just gave up and let my sadness consume me. Of course then ray came around and he was more of Mikey’s friend, but he then asked me to hang out with them and I ended up liking ray like a brother and we became really close.
It was a Thursday when Frank’s mom called.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Gerard?”
“Yes?”
“Have you seen Frankie? He hasn’t been home since last Friday when I kicked him out”
“No. . .”
“ I. .thank you. .please keep an eyes for him for me”
She was so worried. Which made me worry. What had I done? I had chased him away and now he could be hurt. I without a thought got out of my room for the first time in days and grabbed my hoodie and shoes walking out. I needed to find him if it was the last thing I do.
Author: boogymanprodigy
Pairing: FeeXGee
Rating: Soft R
Summary: Gerard is a pretty unpopular student who is obsessed with writing. One day he finds a poem on his his locker door and makes it his job to find the anonymous writer.
Disclaimer: Pure work of fiction!
Warning: Self Mutilation, Swearing, 'Fag Drags', boysecks, death
Authors Note:This is a short sad chapter.
Prologue!
The dark goes away! Just open your eyes!
Hold on (part 1)
hold on (part 2)
When you find something new your old toys get locked in the toy box.
I'm not your angel and your not my anonymous.
Now you're hoping for more. Everytime good happens. Bad must follow. That's just life.
People always say when one door closes, two doors open, but what they don’t get is you might not always want what’s behind the two new doors. What was behind the first door will never be the same as the next two doors. Half the time you don’t want the new opportunities, just the old ones.
I would have given anything to change tonight’s events. I would of asked William over instead of Frankie. Regret is a terrible thing to feel. It’s one thing that is only time consuming and never beneficial to whomever is doing it. Though I still can’t help, but wish I could have done today all over.
I woke up in a hospital bed. I asked what happened and the nurse explained I had passed out and hit my head off the pavement. First I thought maybe the thing with William was a dream. Then I saw Frankie and Mrs. Beckette coming in and I knew it was all true.
Mrs. Beckette looked like she has just been shot through the heart. Her eyes were shrink wrapped in tears as she sat down in one of the seats besides my bed. “How is he?” I asked my voice was no more than a whisper. Did I really want to know? What if I didn’t like what I heard? I knew I would have to face it eventually. “He, didn’t make it,” she said. Her voice was so cold. Her tears were long gone and all that was left was a stone heart.
I finally heard the choked sobs and realized I had started crying. Why did this have to happen? Everything was so perfect and then it was like then at that moment God chose to punish me. Mrs. Beckette was hugging me tightly ‘shhhhh-ing’ me as she rubbed circles into my back. I could tell she needed this hug more than I did, but I wasn’t going to complain. After all I may have lost a best friend, but she lost a son.
Now both men were gone from her life. When William was little, his dad was killed in a shooting at a McDonalds. His mom did all she could to protect her son by keeping him out of sports and getting him into poetry and a safe place, but now that was all gone. He to was joining his dad in the ground.
“They caught them” I looked up to see Frankie nervously eyeing us. “The boys who did it to him. The police caught them.” He said trying to help the situation. “Who. .?” dare I ask. “Bob Bryar, Gabe Saporta, and Jeph Howard” he said looking down at the floor.
Realization dawned at me. Those boys were from our school, but not only that. These boys were Frankie’s best friends. “They did it because of you.” I muttered and he looked up at me his eyes wide with guilt. “This is your fault! You were happy to see William mad today! I bet you planned this!” I yelled at him. “No gee I-” he started, but I had heard enough “get out. GET OUT” I screamed and he scrambled out of the room.
I spent the rest of the night just hugging and comforting Mrs. Beckette. I got home the next morning. Frankie’s book bag wasn’t there. He obviously came and picked it up. I really couldn’t care after all of that. I had laid down on my bed and flipped the stereo on popping on William’s favorite CD. I just wanted to think of the good times I had with him. The biggest regret running through my mind was of the day of the carnival, why didn’t I kiss him back?
I padded out of my room and into the bathroom. I looked through the cabinet under the sink before locating my mettle friend. I hadn’t used him in so long. I thought before I sat down against the wall and began to dig the blade into my forearms dragging it down. It stung so badly, but at the same time the dull throb that would come after followed by the drops of blood emerging to the surface would make it all worth it.
I’m not saying it felt good. Really cutting never did. It really wasn’t this cliché thing that ‘hurt so good’. I just felt the pang in my heart subside because my mind was too focused on the stinging pain and the dull throb that always followed. By the end of my cutting session I just sat there breathing staring at the red.
I heard a noise and then looked up to see Mikey and Brendon in the bathroom doorway staring down at my arm. Mikey sighed moving over to the cabinet pulling out rubbing alcohol and a rag. He sat down in front of me taking my arm pouring the alcohol over it. I hissed and tried to pull back but he held me in place as he dabbed over the cuts.
We all stood up and he led me to the living room where Brendon went off to make coffee as we sat there on the couch. His hand rubbed my back soothingly much like how Mrs. Beckette did last night. Brendon came back with 2 mugs setting them down before sitting next to me on my other side. Mikey then cleared his throat before asking, “What’s wrong this time?”
It wasn’t condescending in the least bit. Mikey just knew me well enough that I only had cut in the past when bad things happened. “William’s dead” I croaked. His eyes widened at my statement. “What? How?” he asked. “Stupid fucking Frankie’s friends decided to have a fag drag,” I snarled as the thought of those jerks came back to my mind.
“Frankie dropped his friends yesterday though” he said. Was he defending him? It then clicked in my head what he had said. Mikey was right. Frank had decided to leave his friends. He couldn’t have set it up. That made me feel worse at that moment because Frankie probably was crushed and knowing him he isn’t even mad at me.
We spent the rest of the after noon watching sad movies. I ended up crying a lot but not over the movies. Brendon and Mikey just cuddled me and allowed me to drench their shirts. It meant a lot to me especially since I knew Mikey was never very fond of William.
When my mother got home the story once again was explained of his death, though the more I said it out loud the more I accepted the fact it was true. It still hurt like hell. He was so young and still had so much ahead of him.
My mom let me stay home that week from school. I ended up holding up in my room not even coming out for food. I kind of lost my motivation and will power to even change my clothes in the morning. I just lay in my bed staring at my ceiling. I used to be like this before. I used to be really depressed when I was younger. I never had any friends and one day I just gave up and let my sadness consume me. Of course then ray came around and he was more of Mikey’s friend, but he then asked me to hang out with them and I ended up liking ray like a brother and we became really close.
It was a Thursday when Frank’s mom called.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Gerard?”
“Yes?”
“Have you seen Frankie? He hasn’t been home since last Friday when I kicked him out”
“No. . .”
“ I. .thank you. .please keep an eyes for him for me”
She was so worried. Which made me worry. What had I done? I had chased him away and now he could be hurt. I without a thought got out of my room for the first time in days and grabbed my hoodie and shoes walking out. I needed to find him if it was the last thing I do.