Tales from the Boobie Bar!
(apologies if this is rambly, I'm exhausted.)
Pop Quiz time!
If you walk into a strip club, present your ID which is not State ID, are told that your ID isn't valid and that we need a State ID or a passport before we can allow you to stay in our establishment-do you:
A. Understand and leave, and possibly go get some valid ID and come back
B. Try to buy a 6-pack anyway, and whine when you're told no
C. Hang around the bar as looooooooong as you can, hoping to see a free peek of titty
If you answered B or C, you need to be slapped. Like this customer yesterday-came in, produced invalid ID, was told nicely that we couldn't stay.
He tried to stay anyway. We had just opened, and he was the only 'customer', so no girls were onstage. He was waiting around for one of us to get up.
First he ran to the bathroom and came back. Then he asked our manager if he could buy a Red Bull. When he was given the can, he asked indignantly why there was no glass with it. Our manager explained again, patiently, that he could not stay because he did not have valid ID.
The guy said he understood, but still sat there.
At which point my manager just said, "You have to leave."
Dude left, looking all pissed off. But seriously people, no means no and leave means leave.
Here's a story from a few days ago.
As backstory to this, I went to a charity bike wash Sunday, and managed to get some sun (I'm usually deathly pale). My shoulders are a bit red.
AG=Asshole Guy
Me="Kestrel"
Me=*goes round for tips, dancedancesmilesmile*
AG=Hey there!
Me=Hello! *dances about for him, turning in the process*
AG=OMG YOUR BACK!!111
Me=o.O? What about it?
AG=You're all red. Doesn't that hurt?!
Me=Oh, no. It's just a bit of sun color.
AG=It doesn't hurt?
Me=No o.O
AG=*slaps my shoulder fairly hard*
Me=O_O *knocks his arm against the bar, hard* What the hell was that for?
AG=Does it hurt now?
Me=Wait, so I tell you something doesn't hurt, and you try to make it hurt? Tha fuck?
AG=Uh...
Me=*stalks off, grumbling*
He was 'asked' to leave :)
And retold suck:
One of the bouncers and I were talking while it was slow, and he told me this one.
A guy asked one of the dancers for a couch dance. She brought him back, signed in with the bouncer, and went to dance for the guy. Suddenly the guy tried to rip off her thong and jam his fingers in her cooch o.O
I do not think a man has been clotheslined so fast, ever. Or thrown out much harder.
And thanks:
To the 'let me spoil you' guy from last week, who came in again today, tipping in several ones and fives at once.
To the regular from my old bar, who was delighted to find where I worked now.
Pop Quiz time!
If you walk into a strip club, present your ID which is not State ID, are told that your ID isn't valid and that we need a State ID or a passport before we can allow you to stay in our establishment-do you:
A. Understand and leave, and possibly go get some valid ID and come back
B. Try to buy a 6-pack anyway, and whine when you're told no
C. Hang around the bar as looooooooong as you can, hoping to see a free peek of titty
If you answered B or C, you need to be slapped. Like this customer yesterday-came in, produced invalid ID, was told nicely that we couldn't stay.
He tried to stay anyway. We had just opened, and he was the only 'customer', so no girls were onstage. He was waiting around for one of us to get up.
First he ran to the bathroom and came back. Then he asked our manager if he could buy a Red Bull. When he was given the can, he asked indignantly why there was no glass with it. Our manager explained again, patiently, that he could not stay because he did not have valid ID.
The guy said he understood, but still sat there.
At which point my manager just said, "You have to leave."
Dude left, looking all pissed off. But seriously people, no means no and leave means leave.
Here's a story from a few days ago.
As backstory to this, I went to a charity bike wash Sunday, and managed to get some sun (I'm usually deathly pale). My shoulders are a bit red.
AG=Asshole Guy
Me="Kestrel"
Me=*goes round for tips, dancedancesmilesmile*
AG=Hey there!
Me=Hello! *dances about for him, turning in the process*
AG=OMG YOUR BACK!!111
Me=o.O? What about it?
AG=You're all red. Doesn't that hurt?!
Me=Oh, no. It's just a bit of sun color.
AG=It doesn't hurt?
Me=No o.O
AG=*slaps my shoulder fairly hard*
Me=O_O *knocks his arm against the bar, hard* What the hell was that for?
AG=Does it hurt now?
Me=Wait, so I tell you something doesn't hurt, and you try to make it hurt? Tha fuck?
AG=Uh...
Me=*stalks off, grumbling*
He was 'asked' to leave :)
And retold suck:
One of the bouncers and I were talking while it was slow, and he told me this one.
A guy asked one of the dancers for a couch dance. She brought him back, signed in with the bouncer, and went to dance for the guy. Suddenly the guy tried to rip off her thong and jam his fingers in her cooch o.O
I do not think a man has been clotheslined so fast, ever. Or thrown out much harder.
And thanks:
To the 'let me spoil you' guy from last week, who came in again today, tipping in several ones and fives at once.
To the regular from my old bar, who was delighted to find where I worked now.