Tales from the Boobie Bar! (with a nod to laeryken)
People are gross ^_^
I walk into the bar to work one day. There are two guys sitting near the door-one quite drunk, the other mostly sober.
The drunker of the two was also the louder of the two (as those things generally go).
DG=Drunk Guy
Me=Literally just walked in the door, in my street clothes, trying to get to the dressing room
Me=*walks in, waves to the bartender and other girls, starts to make way to dressing room*
DG=Well HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THERE!
Me=Hello!
DG=Are you done already? You're not dancin'?
Me=Er, I am. I just have to go get dressed.
Okay, not sucky so far. I get changed, do my set, and walk around for my tips.
Me=*comes around to DGs end of the bar* Hello again!
DG=Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! *slurring his words terribly* Whatcha doin' tonight?
Me=Working.
DG=*exaggerated motions with his hands* No, no, I mean AFTER work?
Me=Going home.
DG=Naw, you need to come PARTY with us! We're going to have FUN.
Me=No, no, I don't think so. Sorry.
DG=Aww, c'mooooooooooooooooooon. I'll keep you safe. *exaggerated wink*
Me=Nooooo. Not happening. *moves on to the next customer*
A little while later, after my next set, the drunk dudes friend went to the bathroom. While the mostly sober friend was in the bathroom, drunk dude very quietly put his head down and barfed all over the barstool, floor, and part of the bar, then made a hasty exit.
This was ninja-barfing we're talking about here, people. No sound, nothing. Just puke and run. His buddy came out, saw what happened, cursed up a storm, and ran out too.
So...so...nasty.
And if that one didn't gross you out enough to close your browser, have a dirty old man, too!
As a little bit of backstory to this, my friend anuebunnie came in to see inkybink and I at work that night. anuebunnie is extremely cool.
So, I'm going around for my tips after my set, when I see an older guy standing up by the bar. As I walk towards him, he puts out his hands and grabs my arms.
Me=Yes, that would be me.
OG=Old guy
OG=*holding my arms* Can we...couch dance?
Me=...sure...*is trying to gracefully disengage myself* You know the rules for that?
OG=Do I...do I get to lick your sweet pussy?
Me=O_O No.
OG=I can't...suck on your titties?
Me=...no.
OG=*his grip is getting tighter* But, I want to.
Me=No touching. *I glance tellingly at his hands on my arms*
OG=*just stands there staring at me, still holding my arms*
Me=No. Touching. *disengages self not-so-gracefully*
So then, a little later, I'm sitting with anuebunnie when he walks up to us.
Now, I forget exactly how the conversation went. All I know is that somehow, the old guy got it into his head to try to shove a dollar up anuebunnies shirt, and she grabbed his hand, smiled, and told him she'd break all his fingers if he tried.
Now, some of the girls said I shouldn't be too upset at the guy-since he was old, and probably lonely. Nuts to that, I say-I am not 'Grandpas Free Cop-A-Feel Foundation', sorry.
And thanks-
Thanks three guys by the pool table for coming in, tipping, and being really nice-thanks especially to the youngest and smallest of the three for accepting the nickname "Princess" and behaving beautifully during his couch dance.
Thanks T for coming in again, chatting to me about clothes and shoes and such, and generally being a good customer.
And thanks to anuebunnie for comin' in and brightening my night :D