(no subject)
Having so much in my life messed up right now i dont even know where to begin.I just want to pick the phone up and call you to say im coming over because im crying.Ive done enough crying the last 2 weeks and all i want is for you to be able to hold me and me fall asleep while we nuggle.
I talked to Kayla last night after I talked to this guy I like and why he was being so rude and you know what he told me?He said that everytime he tries to say something nice or positive about me I turn it around and say something negative about it and I made him feel bad. When I was telling Kayls this right then my life did a huge 360 and I saw everything flash before me.I realize that when people hurt me and when they try to be nice to me I say something back to hurt them just like they hurt me and I dont want to be that person anymore.Im 18 and I want to enjoy my life and not look back on it 30 years from now when I am happy and say to myself why did I waste all that time being upset and miserable?I dont want that. I want to live my life to the fullest and take everyday one day at a time. I want people to envy me and see how much I love life and I want people to be around me because Im a happy person I shouldnt be upset about anything.I want that.
I told Kayla that I already lost a best friend and if I keep acting how I am then eventually I would lose her and and she would walk away too.If I keep acting the way I am then I wont have anyone and I told her it time for me to change.I talked to my mom about it today too and told her how bad I want that change.I want poeple to be happy around me and call me to hang out but I dont have that.
Im ready to be that different person. My temper has changed somewhat and its not as bad
I just want it all back too
I need my nuggle bear more than anything....
I talked to Kayla last night after I talked to this guy I like and why he was being so rude and you know what he told me?He said that everytime he tries to say something nice or positive about me I turn it around and say something negative about it and I made him feel bad. When I was telling Kayls this right then my life did a huge 360 and I saw everything flash before me.I realize that when people hurt me and when they try to be nice to me I say something back to hurt them just like they hurt me and I dont want to be that person anymore.Im 18 and I want to enjoy my life and not look back on it 30 years from now when I am happy and say to myself why did I waste all that time being upset and miserable?I dont want that. I want to live my life to the fullest and take everyday one day at a time. I want people to envy me and see how much I love life and I want people to be around me because Im a happy person I shouldnt be upset about anything.I want that.
I told Kayla that I already lost a best friend and if I keep acting how I am then eventually I would lose her and and she would walk away too.If I keep acting the way I am then I wont have anyone and I told her it time for me to change.I talked to my mom about it today too and told her how bad I want that change.I want poeple to be happy around me and call me to hang out but I dont have that.
Im ready to be that different person. My temper has changed somewhat and its not as bad
I just want it all back too
I need my nuggle bear more than anything....