soul struggles...
We finally got a good rain! I was soooo happy, cuz I was prepared to fill up jugs 'n wheelbarrow back 'n forth from the pond, but I was exhausted! So I took a day to let my body catch up. Meg 'n I sat downstairs 'n watched romantic comedies from 2006-8. They seemed to stop writing good romances after that. I went to the second hand store 'n bought a few cuz I want my girls to see, so they know what to look for. That's if the next generation is taught how to woo! :)
On that very rainy day I was seeking out a book. Anyone that knows me at all, knows that my books are sacred. Yup, more then my pillow! Now, b/c I'm here to inspire souls', I lent out one of my most sacredess books of all! The book that started my journey to enlightenment! I wasn't sure how it'd go but gave a chance. I let go of the death look after everything I'd given, put up with "the show(off)" when both guys said Nope, never comes out., 'n then taking complaints from her husband 'n making it employee gossip, but when it becomes about..., was enough. I had nightmares about such a jewel being in the wrong hands. Would it get thrown away I feared. When I saw the bookmark, I didn't wonder why it was nagging me so much. But then a book I gifted him with also came back. I don't understand anymore. I can't function when no one says what they mean 'n mean what they say. Jame is always telling me that I can't change the world. I'm not. I'm only trying to inspire. He says I make him a better man. That's what it's about. And inspire life. Living. Feeling truly alive! So I don't know. Time to meditate on it all 'n decide with the heart. Everyone's life is their choice! I've only ever cared. But I should probably figure out when it's not wanted!
So I wonder if the boss drank his magical beer today! Jame was nervous about asking for today off cuz they have so much work 'n so few employees 'n only a few of them don't take off all the time to smoke.... Iye! So I said, I'm the one that needs you to drive me there cuz my internal compass is so f-ed up, so I'll ask! So I gave him a bottle of beer 'n told him he'd need it on Thursday cuz I needed Jame to take the day off! Lisa even smiled. Jame is right. He doesn't joke around anymore. Well, I hope he has someone that makes him happy from time to time! He told Jame all his dreams were coming true! His man space. Or man playground! Maybe he's only happy there!
Watching The Holiday again. That's my idea of a big house. Trade for two weeks! But that would never happen cuz no one in their right mind would go for 5:30 rooster calls, 'n watering cans...! :)
So yes, my baby is finally home. They ended up giving her some medication 'n she stuck it out. Good thing we left earlier. Traffic was stop 'n go here 'n there. An accident on the way back... From 10 till 5 was spent mostly in the van! We walked around Ikea a bit cuz we were a little early 'n needed the bathrooms. She cried when she saw us! Then she cried when she said goodbye to her new friends! She was glad to get home. It was really hard work 'n long days. She did say she would do it again next year though. She went above 'n beyond in my books. Even when she was done her duties; she stayed to help the cooks! That's my girl! She was glad to see Annabelle 'n her cat! Couldn't believe how big Thor had gotten! He's like a small panther! And the chicks, 'n the kittens!
She had quite the experiences! Loved watching the sunsets 'n the stars! The girls were great! Only a couple demanding privileged kids, but she followed the lead of the other girls. And most importantly gained a new confidence that she deserves to have! So it did change her!
The only problem: more peeps know that we are going against the grain. She said the camp nurse was asking her all kinds of questions about homeschooling. What does that have to do with her health!? I'm teaching my amigos how to heal the physical body. Actually heal! And how to heal a heart. And how to inspire peeps by caring 'n goin' out of your way for them cuz this world is lacking so much love. True love. They pretend to love... but true love lasts forever! I'm teaching 'em how to heal animals. How to heal 'n care for the environment. How to become self sufficient 'n grow their own food... How to learn from experience. How to become self taught b/c the greatest men are! And most importantly: how to be the being they were born to be in this vast garden, 'n let their fragrance inspire others to be who they are; so we can all experience something great in each other. I don't want to be something I'm not.
An epiphany I had the other day: Could never figure out why I love Vivaldi, .... but I always heard so much in the music. So many feelings. And how now a days, music, 'n so few films have any talent to 'em. And then it hit me! They were aware! They were alive! They were living! And only till then; can you actually create your masterpiece!
Long weekend!? Jame isn't even sure. He wants to get the extended patio 'n play area, cuz it's not a driveway! done this weekend! I guess I know what I'm doin' this weekend! Carrying bricks back 'n forth! Yeah. Not so much!
Time to fall asleep whilst meditating about everything I'm feeling 'n whilst I am in dreamland, may the higher part of I, as in am; speak to my heart in how to proceed to the next moment for gaining only what the soul desires!
On that very rainy day I was seeking out a book. Anyone that knows me at all, knows that my books are sacred. Yup, more then my pillow! Now, b/c I'm here to inspire souls', I lent out one of my most sacredess books of all! The book that started my journey to enlightenment! I wasn't sure how it'd go but gave a chance. I let go of the death look after everything I'd given, put up with "the show(off)" when both guys said Nope, never comes out., 'n then taking complaints from her husband 'n making it employee gossip, but when it becomes about..., was enough. I had nightmares about such a jewel being in the wrong hands. Would it get thrown away I feared. When I saw the bookmark, I didn't wonder why it was nagging me so much. But then a book I gifted him with also came back. I don't understand anymore. I can't function when no one says what they mean 'n mean what they say. Jame is always telling me that I can't change the world. I'm not. I'm only trying to inspire. He says I make him a better man. That's what it's about. And inspire life. Living. Feeling truly alive! So I don't know. Time to meditate on it all 'n decide with the heart. Everyone's life is their choice! I've only ever cared. But I should probably figure out when it's not wanted!
So I wonder if the boss drank his magical beer today! Jame was nervous about asking for today off cuz they have so much work 'n so few employees 'n only a few of them don't take off all the time to smoke.... Iye! So I said, I'm the one that needs you to drive me there cuz my internal compass is so f-ed up, so I'll ask! So I gave him a bottle of beer 'n told him he'd need it on Thursday cuz I needed Jame to take the day off! Lisa even smiled. Jame is right. He doesn't joke around anymore. Well, I hope he has someone that makes him happy from time to time! He told Jame all his dreams were coming true! His man space. Or man playground! Maybe he's only happy there!
Watching The Holiday again. That's my idea of a big house. Trade for two weeks! But that would never happen cuz no one in their right mind would go for 5:30 rooster calls, 'n watering cans...! :)
So yes, my baby is finally home. They ended up giving her some medication 'n she stuck it out. Good thing we left earlier. Traffic was stop 'n go here 'n there. An accident on the way back... From 10 till 5 was spent mostly in the van! We walked around Ikea a bit cuz we were a little early 'n needed the bathrooms. She cried when she saw us! Then she cried when she said goodbye to her new friends! She was glad to get home. It was really hard work 'n long days. She did say she would do it again next year though. She went above 'n beyond in my books. Even when she was done her duties; she stayed to help the cooks! That's my girl! She was glad to see Annabelle 'n her cat! Couldn't believe how big Thor had gotten! He's like a small panther! And the chicks, 'n the kittens!
She had quite the experiences! Loved watching the sunsets 'n the stars! The girls were great! Only a couple demanding privileged kids, but she followed the lead of the other girls. And most importantly gained a new confidence that she deserves to have! So it did change her!
The only problem: more peeps know that we are going against the grain. She said the camp nurse was asking her all kinds of questions about homeschooling. What does that have to do with her health!? I'm teaching my amigos how to heal the physical body. Actually heal! And how to heal a heart. And how to inspire peeps by caring 'n goin' out of your way for them cuz this world is lacking so much love. True love. They pretend to love... but true love lasts forever! I'm teaching 'em how to heal animals. How to heal 'n care for the environment. How to become self sufficient 'n grow their own food... How to learn from experience. How to become self taught b/c the greatest men are! And most importantly: how to be the being they were born to be in this vast garden, 'n let their fragrance inspire others to be who they are; so we can all experience something great in each other. I don't want to be something I'm not.
An epiphany I had the other day: Could never figure out why I love Vivaldi, .... but I always heard so much in the music. So many feelings. And how now a days, music, 'n so few films have any talent to 'em. And then it hit me! They were aware! They were alive! They were living! And only till then; can you actually create your masterpiece!
Long weekend!? Jame isn't even sure. He wants to get the extended patio 'n play area, cuz it's not a driveway! done this weekend! I guess I know what I'm doin' this weekend! Carrying bricks back 'n forth! Yeah. Not so much!
Time to fall asleep whilst meditating about everything I'm feeling 'n whilst I am in dreamland, may the higher part of I, as in am; speak to my heart in how to proceed to the next moment for gaining only what the soul desires!