so let's talk about my developing dislike for japanese people
I don't know what to do with all my rage.
Today was a big event in the city. I helped set up, run a booth, do intermittent interpreting, and other random tasks from 6:45am to 7:30pm.
First of all, the day before I left for the States, the organizers came by 3 hours before I leave to tell me that I had to write a speech for the main guest in English. No directions, just write a 5 minute speech in English. I did it.
Today he uses no part of my speech, WHICH IS FINE except that what he had to replace it was all over the place and terrible. Terrible English, terrible grammar, stuttering all over the fucking place... no, we cannot tell what you're saying. That was tremendously insulting and I was frustrated because if they had told me what he wanted to talk about, I could have of course done that much more easily.
After the event today, there was a group dinner with everyone who helped out and the staff. No one personally told me to come, but I knew because they were telling everyone else about it. If I relied on what people told me personally, I would not know anything because no one tells me anything.
Anyway, I was super tired and I really didn't want to go, but I figured it was work and it would be awkward if all the other staffers were there and I just disappeared. I went, and then it was awkward again because the woman next to me was shunning me or something.
After about 20 minutes, there are a ton of people. Maybe 30? My co-worker taps me on the shoulder and tells me that because too many people came, we have to pretend we have work and go home because they didn't budget enough to pay for us.
At this point it is very WTF, but I didn't want to come in the first place so I wasn't that upset. The organizers then proceed to make a minor production about how sorry they are and how I am free to stay and have a little bit of the appetizers before I go and that they're oh so sorry. I started to lose it then. We make our excuses and leave but it's pretty obvious.
I'm not upset about dinner.
I hate that I was effectively kicked out of an event that I went to out of a sense of obligation.
I feel so humiliated at how they shoved my status in my face.
Frankly, I was just the least important person there -- so unimportant that my feelings are not even a minor consideration.
I KNOW I AM WORTH MORE. I just don't have the fucking title or the seniority or the money or whatever the hell it is that merits respect in their minds. I hate what this is doing to my self worth.
I was never prepared to survive in a culture that pulls this kind of shit.
Is it maturity that allows you to take these things in stride? To dismiss it as just another strange way of doing things? I might be fooling myself, but I don't think this would ever happen in any respectable American company (much less the government).
Maybe someday I could just get over it, but today I am too full of pride and not secure enough in myself to take it as anything less than an affront.
Today was a big event in the city. I helped set up, run a booth, do intermittent interpreting, and other random tasks from 6:45am to 7:30pm.
First of all, the day before I left for the States, the organizers came by 3 hours before I leave to tell me that I had to write a speech for the main guest in English. No directions, just write a 5 minute speech in English. I did it.
Today he uses no part of my speech, WHICH IS FINE except that what he had to replace it was all over the place and terrible. Terrible English, terrible grammar, stuttering all over the fucking place... no, we cannot tell what you're saying. That was tremendously insulting and I was frustrated because if they had told me what he wanted to talk about, I could have of course done that much more easily.
After the event today, there was a group dinner with everyone who helped out and the staff. No one personally told me to come, but I knew because they were telling everyone else about it. If I relied on what people told me personally, I would not know anything because no one tells me anything.
Anyway, I was super tired and I really didn't want to go, but I figured it was work and it would be awkward if all the other staffers were there and I just disappeared. I went, and then it was awkward again because the woman next to me was shunning me or something.
After about 20 minutes, there are a ton of people. Maybe 30? My co-worker taps me on the shoulder and tells me that because too many people came, we have to pretend we have work and go home because they didn't budget enough to pay for us.
At this point it is very WTF, but I didn't want to come in the first place so I wasn't that upset. The organizers then proceed to make a minor production about how sorry they are and how I am free to stay and have a little bit of the appetizers before I go and that they're oh so sorry. I started to lose it then. We make our excuses and leave but it's pretty obvious.
I'm not upset about dinner.
I hate that I was effectively kicked out of an event that I went to out of a sense of obligation.
I feel so humiliated at how they shoved my status in my face.
Frankly, I was just the least important person there -- so unimportant that my feelings are not even a minor consideration.
I KNOW I AM WORTH MORE. I just don't have the fucking title or the seniority or the money or whatever the hell it is that merits respect in their minds. I hate what this is doing to my self worth.
I was never prepared to survive in a culture that pulls this kind of shit.
Is it maturity that allows you to take these things in stride? To dismiss it as just another strange way of doing things? I might be fooling myself, but I don't think this would ever happen in any respectable American company (much less the government).
Maybe someday I could just get over it, but today I am too full of pride and not secure enough in myself to take it as anything less than an affront.