T MINUS 11 (day 91)
Pacific, just past the equator
I am not so dead inside that weddings don't make me feel fuzzy, especially when behind me is clear blue ocean and above me is just wide blue sky. That isn't to say I don't view them with... distrust? Confusion? I just don't understand weddings right now. Vows? In front of hundreds you don't know? Why???
A young couple on the ship got "married" yesterday. It's a show wedding, a show all around, but it was pretty.
On a separate note, I have had lots of opportunities now to speak in front of people. The crowd sizes vary. I want to be a calm, stable speaker.
I am incredibly excited by ideas, learning, talking about ideas and knowledge. I adore hearing words like neoliberalism and perestroika and cluster bomb and war crime. I want to talk about anti-Americanism and nuclear deterrence and asymmetrical warfare. I didn't think I was for academia, but learning is so exciting and talking about these things gets the heart pumping.
I have several thoughts about what I want to do next, but as always, it's impossible to separate ambition from fear from responsibility and guilt from what I think I want.
I am not so dead inside that weddings don't make me feel fuzzy, especially when behind me is clear blue ocean and above me is just wide blue sky. That isn't to say I don't view them with... distrust? Confusion? I just don't understand weddings right now. Vows? In front of hundreds you don't know? Why???
A young couple on the ship got "married" yesterday. It's a show wedding, a show all around, but it was pretty.
On a separate note, I have had lots of opportunities now to speak in front of people. The crowd sizes vary. I want to be a calm, stable speaker.
I am incredibly excited by ideas, learning, talking about ideas and knowledge. I adore hearing words like neoliberalism and perestroika and cluster bomb and war crime. I want to talk about anti-Americanism and nuclear deterrence and asymmetrical warfare. I didn't think I was for academia, but learning is so exciting and talking about these things gets the heart pumping.
I have several thoughts about what I want to do next, but as always, it's impossible to separate ambition from fear from responsibility and guilt from what I think I want.