(no subject)
My computer is still making this damn irritating noise.
I feel tired and lonely all of a sudden. My tea is comforting me but I am up when nobody else is and at uni there would have still been people up for me to talk to. Here it's just me waiting for the right time to get a summer job, and everyone else going to work or college. That'd be mum, dad and Rach. Yep, here the population is reduced from twenty-something to just four. Well, six if you count the cats.
I want to be somewhere else. I feel all my loneliness and worry and self-doubt and fear bubbling up again. Everyone I look at lately is more than me.
I want to listen to my sister's Patrick Wolf CD. I want to put Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits on and sit looking out at the rain. I can't do that, night has come and it's dark. And I don't even know if it's raining anymore.
I am so unsure that anything I want will actually happen. I used to dream about being an author, and I haven't written anything new for weeks.
Fuck, how can I go from happy to depressed in a matter of minutes?
The loneliness hits me and I feel like crap. I used to sit in my room for hours by myself at uni and I knew that people were only seconds away. Now I'm here and nobody else is. Heather, Joe, Phil, Kay, Lora, everyone that could make me smile or laugh. They're all far away.
I miss you already.
I feel tired and lonely all of a sudden. My tea is comforting me but I am up when nobody else is and at uni there would have still been people up for me to talk to. Here it's just me waiting for the right time to get a summer job, and everyone else going to work or college. That'd be mum, dad and Rach. Yep, here the population is reduced from twenty-something to just four. Well, six if you count the cats.
I want to be somewhere else. I feel all my loneliness and worry and self-doubt and fear bubbling up again. Everyone I look at lately is more than me.
I want to listen to my sister's Patrick Wolf CD. I want to put Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits on and sit looking out at the rain. I can't do that, night has come and it's dark. And I don't even know if it's raining anymore.
I am so unsure that anything I want will actually happen. I used to dream about being an author, and I haven't written anything new for weeks.
Fuck, how can I go from happy to depressed in a matter of minutes?
The loneliness hits me and I feel like crap. I used to sit in my room for hours by myself at uni and I knew that people were only seconds away. Now I'm here and nobody else is. Heather, Joe, Phil, Kay, Lora, everyone that could make me smile or laugh. They're all far away.
I miss you already.