Re-starting Somewhere
Leonard had to start somewhere.
Leonard had to re-start somewhere. He had to re-start from somewhere that was both him, and was solid, and he chose his bones; the same way Dr. McCoy did in Star Trek.
"My wife got half the planet in the divorce", Dr. McCoy said to the stranger sitting next to him on the shuttle to the Enterprise transporting him to a new life exploring outer space as a member of Starfleet which he may not have chosen for himself under different circumstances. "All I have left are my bones." Did Dr. McCoy know what he was getting himself into?
Leonard felt that he was living in a strange world. Not strange in the sense of familiarity though. His world was very, very familiar. He could recognize it. He saw people and could say who they were and what they did. He could see landmarks and knew where they were in relation to each other so he could easily get from one place to another.
But something had happened; something invisible that changed the social dimension of Leonard's seemingly familiar world. The social meaning of everything had changed. So, it wasn't that everything was strange, but everything was estranged. The world's size had not changed, but Leonard's connections to it had become very, very small. Leonard lived in an estranged world where he could trust no one because everyone was probably using him.
Leonard needed a coping strategy. He needed an imaginary world.
Barbara Sher's book, Wishcraft, has been in print for 30 years. When he was in his twenties, Leonard had found a copy on a room-mate's book shelf. He found it useful, not for its familiar, new-age self-help psychology, but for its practical exercises. "Create your own fan-club" was the one that Leonard never forgot; where you simply picked some characters - they could be real people or fictional - and you just wrote about them as though they were your supporters talking about you.
Back in the day, Leonard's fan club included a war general, a fictional police captain, a folk singer, and a novelist.
Leonard could not sleep in the daytime. He surmised that the photo-control of his pineal gland's melatonin was very sound. Light suppresses melatonin production, the hormone that helps keep you asleep for the recommended 7-9 hours out of every twenty-four, and light - sunlight streaming in through his apartment windows, or bright webpages from his phone - kept Leonard awake.
And so it was that Leonard Locke Matsunaga sat on a Jefferson bachelor's chair before a civil war-era field desk, unable to sleep in the early spring light, and added a mathematician to his imaginary fan club.
The chair and the field desk conformed beautifully to a lifestyle principle he had adopted while living in a small bachelor's suite apartment: only buy things that fold-up or can do at least two things. The Jefferson Chair had three configurations that were determined by the position of the chair-back enabling it to function as a chair, an ironing-board, or a step-ladder. The field desk similarly folded up into a steamer trunk that Leonard occasionally used as a coffee table. On the fold-out shelf of the field desk, Leonard typed on a Panasonic CF-20 Toughbook.
Hi residence was the craftsmanship of Mel Jovovich, a tiny-house builder who Leonard commissioned to convert a delivery truck into a home on wheels which he immediately christened, seemingly unimaginatively, Traveller. At first glance, Traveller looked like a UPS truck with large-output printed decals trying to creatively sell vacation homes, but when you got close enough, you could see that the fitted wood paneling was real and gave the vehicle a warm, grounded feel that was ironic for what was basically a fancy camper.
Leonard had to re-start somewhere. He had to re-start from somewhere that was both him, and was solid, and he chose his bones; the same way Dr. McCoy did in Star Trek.
"My wife got half the planet in the divorce", Dr. McCoy said to the stranger sitting next to him on the shuttle to the Enterprise transporting him to a new life exploring outer space as a member of Starfleet which he may not have chosen for himself under different circumstances. "All I have left are my bones." Did Dr. McCoy know what he was getting himself into?
Leonard felt that he was living in a strange world. Not strange in the sense of familiarity though. His world was very, very familiar. He could recognize it. He saw people and could say who they were and what they did. He could see landmarks and knew where they were in relation to each other so he could easily get from one place to another.
But something had happened; something invisible that changed the social dimension of Leonard's seemingly familiar world. The social meaning of everything had changed. So, it wasn't that everything was strange, but everything was estranged. The world's size had not changed, but Leonard's connections to it had become very, very small. Leonard lived in an estranged world where he could trust no one because everyone was probably using him.
Leonard needed a coping strategy. He needed an imaginary world.
Barbara Sher's book, Wishcraft, has been in print for 30 years. When he was in his twenties, Leonard had found a copy on a room-mate's book shelf. He found it useful, not for its familiar, new-age self-help psychology, but for its practical exercises. "Create your own fan-club" was the one that Leonard never forgot; where you simply picked some characters - they could be real people or fictional - and you just wrote about them as though they were your supporters talking about you.
Back in the day, Leonard's fan club included a war general, a fictional police captain, a folk singer, and a novelist.
Leonard could not sleep in the daytime. He surmised that the photo-control of his pineal gland's melatonin was very sound. Light suppresses melatonin production, the hormone that helps keep you asleep for the recommended 7-9 hours out of every twenty-four, and light - sunlight streaming in through his apartment windows, or bright webpages from his phone - kept Leonard awake.
And so it was that Leonard Locke Matsunaga sat on a Jefferson bachelor's chair before a civil war-era field desk, unable to sleep in the early spring light, and added a mathematician to his imaginary fan club.
The chair and the field desk conformed beautifully to a lifestyle principle he had adopted while living in a small bachelor's suite apartment: only buy things that fold-up or can do at least two things. The Jefferson Chair had three configurations that were determined by the position of the chair-back enabling it to function as a chair, an ironing-board, or a step-ladder. The field desk similarly folded up into a steamer trunk that Leonard occasionally used as a coffee table. On the fold-out shelf of the field desk, Leonard typed on a Panasonic CF-20 Toughbook.
Hi residence was the craftsmanship of Mel Jovovich, a tiny-house builder who Leonard commissioned to convert a delivery truck into a home on wheels which he immediately christened, seemingly unimaginatively, Traveller. At first glance, Traveller looked like a UPS truck with large-output printed decals trying to creatively sell vacation homes, but when you got close enough, you could see that the fitted wood paneling was real and gave the vehicle a warm, grounded feel that was ironic for what was basically a fancy camper.