...
I'm not going to be coming on here for awhile...
That means no posting, no commenting, no journals, nothing...
Recently I was found out by my boyfriend. Again. Me, being the idiot, left my live journal logged in and available for
all the world to see. That opened several doors to hell. I completely fucked up. I almost lost the one person who
cared about me the most; whom I cared about the most. All because of my stupid bullshit: anorexia
makes me weave complicated lies that I can't even keep up with. I forget what lies I tell. I lied about my fast
and that nearly killed him.
So I'm not going to be coming on here for awhile...I've been attempting to eat. It makes him happy, it makes me happy
because for awhile I get to get rid of those awful stomach aches and headaches. But my mind is so fucking with me.
I don't know what to do...this guilt keeps getting stronger and stronger. I'm still magically 105.5...the weight I was before
I started the fast. I'm still seeing my goal weight in my mind. My thighs and ass still taunt me...everything fucked up is still
there...This is going to be quite the battle. The sick part is that I want the evil side to take the win. -.-
Thanks to all who have supported me. I'll be supporting you all too, from afar. Wish me luck..I'll be back when I can
I hope you all achieve your goals, stay happy and healthy <3
That means no posting, no commenting, no journals, nothing...
Recently I was found out by my boyfriend. Again. Me, being the idiot, left my live journal logged in and available for
all the world to see. That opened several doors to hell. I completely fucked up. I almost lost the one person who
cared about me the most; whom I cared about the most. All because of my stupid bullshit: anorexia
makes me weave complicated lies that I can't even keep up with. I forget what lies I tell. I lied about my fast
and that nearly killed him.
So I'm not going to be coming on here for awhile...I've been attempting to eat. It makes him happy, it makes me happy
because for awhile I get to get rid of those awful stomach aches and headaches. But my mind is so fucking with me.
I don't know what to do...this guilt keeps getting stronger and stronger. I'm still magically 105.5...the weight I was before
I started the fast. I'm still seeing my goal weight in my mind. My thighs and ass still taunt me...everything fucked up is still
there...This is going to be quite the battle. The sick part is that I want the evil side to take the win. -.-
Thanks to all who have supported me. I'll be supporting you all too, from afar. Wish me luck..I'll be back when I can
I hope you all achieve your goals, stay happy and healthy <3