Remembering D-NORTH and D-SOUTH
Perhaps appropriately, we are having a rare day of rain in the Valley, on the last night the Devil's Martini locations will be open. NOODLES looked forlorn and depressed this morning, but agreed to let me interview him about the closing of these venues that has meant so much to his life over the years.
ME: Devil's North. First memories that come to your mind?
NOODLES: Honestly?
ME: Yes, first ones.
NOODLES: (sighs) Well, probably the handy I got on that little side portion of the patio, or when I went out with one of the hottest girls I've ever got with and nearly smashed in the parking lot until a cop broke it up.
ME: Earliest memory?
NOODLES: For D-North, probably when I first moved up here, meeting BACKPACK, getting blasted with HDML and CLAMSTER and just acting a fool.
ME: Any regrets?
NOODLES: Just that I missed a few 2-for-1 Thursdays when I was tired and being lazy.
ME: What about the gentleman you've gone with there? What do you recall from those times?
NOODLES: Well, HCOE wasn't there often, but the one time he was he was thrown out for excessive hovering at D-North and then was getting "too aggressive" with a cougar at D-South more recently.
ME: He is known for his aggression. Biggest regret?
NOODLES: Probably taking AZ anywhere near there. We always tried to keep it classy and bring a gentlemanly flavor to what wasn't always the most upstanding crowd of men. Yet, AZ pretty much destroyed any good favor we had been accumulating when he urinated in the broom closet at D-South, was thrown out, and attempted to get back in five seconds later wearing FAT MIKEY's shirt that was 5 times too big for him.
ME: What do you expect for tonight?
NOODLES: (getting choked up)...I really don't know. HDML and I have been texting all week and I did see him downtown a few days ago. He told me he knew it was going to be real emotional, but there was no way he'd miss it. He usually only has a way with words when it comes to his bowel movements, but I think he put it perfectly. He also said he wasn't having a sip of alcohol last night so he'd be "fiendin for it like a crack whore when I walk in". So I'm a little concerned.
ME: How are you preparing for tonight?
NOODLES: Well, I sent out an Evite to everyone I could of think of that might want to show their respects.
ME: How'd that go?
NOODLES: A lot of "maybes". MOTZ stated the last time he was at D-SOUTH there were six people there. I told him same here, and I grinded on two of them, the rest were dudes, so what's his point? I just think this isn't a time to be negative.
ME: Why do you think they lost so much business over the past year?
NOODLES: There's a lot of rumors about that. I can only speculate. I think that with D-SOUTH, they were remodeling like every six months, which was about how many times AZ would go there...yeah, I don't know.
ME: Final thoughts? I will let you get back to your dark cloud.
NOODLES: I'm just bringing my heart, my soul, the usual things I brought there, and doing a shot of Rozay right when I walk in.
ME: Anything you aren't bringing?
NOODLES: A condom.
ME: That's touching. Good to see you are being real with your shorty.
NOODLES: Yeah (long pause)...that and if anything were to happen, it just feels like a raw-doggin', impregnating sort of night.
ME: Devil's North. First memories that come to your mind?
NOODLES: Honestly?
ME: Yes, first ones.
NOODLES: (sighs) Well, probably the handy I got on that little side portion of the patio, or when I went out with one of the hottest girls I've ever got with and nearly smashed in the parking lot until a cop broke it up.
ME: Earliest memory?
NOODLES: For D-North, probably when I first moved up here, meeting BACKPACK, getting blasted with HDML and CLAMSTER and just acting a fool.
ME: Any regrets?
NOODLES: Just that I missed a few 2-for-1 Thursdays when I was tired and being lazy.
ME: What about the gentleman you've gone with there? What do you recall from those times?
NOODLES: Well, HCOE wasn't there often, but the one time he was he was thrown out for excessive hovering at D-North and then was getting "too aggressive" with a cougar at D-South more recently.
ME: He is known for his aggression. Biggest regret?
NOODLES: Probably taking AZ anywhere near there. We always tried to keep it classy and bring a gentlemanly flavor to what wasn't always the most upstanding crowd of men. Yet, AZ pretty much destroyed any good favor we had been accumulating when he urinated in the broom closet at D-South, was thrown out, and attempted to get back in five seconds later wearing FAT MIKEY's shirt that was 5 times too big for him.
ME: What do you expect for tonight?
NOODLES: (getting choked up)...I really don't know. HDML and I have been texting all week and I did see him downtown a few days ago. He told me he knew it was going to be real emotional, but there was no way he'd miss it. He usually only has a way with words when it comes to his bowel movements, but I think he put it perfectly. He also said he wasn't having a sip of alcohol last night so he'd be "fiendin for it like a crack whore when I walk in". So I'm a little concerned.
ME: How are you preparing for tonight?
NOODLES: Well, I sent out an Evite to everyone I could of think of that might want to show their respects.
ME: How'd that go?
NOODLES: A lot of "maybes". MOTZ stated the last time he was at D-SOUTH there were six people there. I told him same here, and I grinded on two of them, the rest were dudes, so what's his point? I just think this isn't a time to be negative.
ME: Why do you think they lost so much business over the past year?
NOODLES: There's a lot of rumors about that. I can only speculate. I think that with D-SOUTH, they were remodeling like every six months, which was about how many times AZ would go there...yeah, I don't know.
ME: Final thoughts? I will let you get back to your dark cloud.
NOODLES: I'm just bringing my heart, my soul, the usual things I brought there, and doing a shot of Rozay right when I walk in.
ME: Anything you aren't bringing?
NOODLES: A condom.
ME: That's touching. Good to see you are being real with your shorty.
NOODLES: Yeah (long pause)...that and if anything were to happen, it just feels like a raw-doggin', impregnating sort of night.