Fic: Having faith
Summary: Dean had faith and this time his faith worked.
Warning: Completely Au
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Thanks to Brittany Jones for being my beta
With Sam safely in the car, John took his guns, handed one to his oldest son check the holy water, closed the car door and walked to the park where a man had been appearing.
At first John thought that it was just some guy looking for trouble, but it was when Dean ,while walking to school with some friends, saw a man calling them by their name with black eyes that John decided to take care of this.
“Dean!” John called out his oldest.
The young boy ,with a hesitant move, was by his father’s side answering like he was told to. “Sir”
“Stay here. Don’t drop your gun. You see anything ,you shot. Watch your brother.” John expelled the words in the same militant way that he had done since a year ago. He entered the park and without looking back, went to do his job.
It took some time, but now Dean within six and a half years, learned to followed his father’s orders naturally, or at least that was what John said to himself.
It was a cold night, he had a jacket but it wasn’t of much help. Dean kept an eye on the park entrance and other on his sleeping little brother. He was sleepy and had a slight headache but he didn’t drop his gun.
The time passed and his father hadn’t come back, it was unusual but Dean knew better than to go looking for him. He could feel the desperation growing. With a deep breath he tried not to cry. Before, crying wasn’t a problem. His father always did something to make him feel good, but now he couldn’t cry. His father would say that it won’t help him or Sam if something was attacking them, but even knowing this, he couldn’t stop the tears. Sometimes it hurt so much, thinking that many of the kids in his class were more than probably in a warn bed, with soft blankets, having happy dreams while he was here, in the middle of the night, with a gun in his hands, trying not to tremble because of the cold wind, watching his brother who by now was awake but playing silently with some keys and waiting for his father who should have been back by now. It hurt.
He was getting nervous, his father had been gone for two and a half hours, and he never took so long. Maybe he should go and see if help was needed but no, he had to look out for Sam and if his father came back while he was gone, let’s just say he won’t be happy. But his dad could be in trouble, hurt, asking for help, bleeding, dying…
STOP!!!!!
His mind screamed. His father told him that freaking out didn’t solve troubles, and now he couldn’t freak out, it wasn’t going to help. He had to wait like his father told him and remember what his mother used to tell him before going to sleep.
He just had to have faith. He trusted his mother when she said that with having faith everything would be fine. Even with her gone he still had faith. It was silly but some nights when it was just the two of them and both were scared, although Dean couldn’t get scared, he liked to tell Sam that if they have faith the scary things would go away, maybe his little brother didn’t understand what he was saying but that big smile calmed Dean a little and helped to forget that he wanted his dad to come back. So even if his father didn’t have faith anymore, Dean would make sure to have enough for his father and his baby brother.
After all, faith was the only thing left. That’s what his mother said.
&&&&&&&
John had been trapped with a creature; he guessed that it was a shapershifter. The thing looked just like him, with some gray hear and pale face but they looked the same. He had a cut on his head and one on his lips but he could fifth(fight?), the creature didn’t throw him against the wall that hard. He lost consciousness for he guessed about an hour and now the creature is telling him about some future. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was curious, seeing the shapershifter was like seeing himself in a mirror, but creatures like this were supposed to kill him and until now he had some cuts but mostly self-inflicted from trying to run from it.
“I made mistakes, you are going to make mistakes.” The creature told him. ”Yea I know, you are human and you’re trying to kill what killed Mary but in the process you’ll lose everything.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You aren’t as blind as I was.”
“Who were you?”
“You. But you still can be saved.”
“What are you saying? Saved from what?”
“The question would be from whom, and the answer is: from you” He smiled sadly at John startled face. “You are gonna lose your priorities, your love, your children, your humanity…your life.”
John snorted “So you are here because you died.” He had to make time; his gun was two meters in front of him. He just needed to move smoothly, take his gun and finish with this.
The man shook his head “No, I’m here because of what happened after I died.”
“What?” John finally dropped his hand. He wasn’t an expert in the hunting thing but somehow he knew that this twin wasn’t going to hurt him but he had in his head the words, if is supernatural, kill it. “What do you want?” He needed to go back to his kids, Dean would be freaking out and Sam must be hungry.
“Don’t worry, he learns very well. He’ll take care of Sammy. After all, that was what you told him to do.” The man spoke like he could read his mind.
Who is this guy? He can’t be me. He should be a Shaper shifter or demon that wanted to play with him.
“No, I’m not a demon, I was in hell but that was because of a deal with The Demon” The man chuckled when John’s head almost break at the words. “Yea, I’m dead, I was in hell, I made a deal. And I come back in time to stop you”
The man wasn’t surprised when John moved fast, took his gun and shot at him. He just raised an eyebrow when the bullet went through him.
“What are you?” John stuttered.
“I’m a soul. Yea I know stupid but, well…when you die and go to heaven you become a soul. That what books say.” The creature, John Winchester, signed and sat next to his younger self. It was the first time in many years that he talked in this calm and sarcastic voice. He could feel the bicker temper trying to reappear but that won’t help. His younger self still was docile and somehow innocent, this John hadn’t see the atrocities of the hunt or seen his sons hate him, run away from him and die, this John didn’t know the pain of lost a son.
“Yeah, but you said you went to hell.” John’s eyes, the younger John’s eyes, were wide open. His face didn’t have that swallow and cold appearance that the old John had when he saw his boys in Salvation. “So we’re the same person, you died; and you’ve come back to the past and to what? Stop me? Stop me from doing what?”
“This” The old John answered gestured to all his surrounding. And before his younger self could say something he said. “This work needs to be done, but you have too much to lose. Even if you think that there is nothing left, your sons are everything and if you keep with this, you are going to lose them.”
Younger John swallowed and breathed deeply. “Mary(?)…I …. How can you tell me to stop this, you said that we killed the demon, if I stop then the demon is going to be out there and…”
“And your children are going to have the father that they deserve” The supposed old john interrupted.
John looked hard at the man. His children were fine, Dean was obedient and Sam was growing up and soon both would be ready to…
“Ready to kill and became strangers” Old John could read his mind; they were the same person after all. “They won’t be your children. Dean would be your soldier and Sam would be Dean’s responsibility. You won’t be a father”
John shook his head. Took his gun again and spill holy water next to his older self. Nothing changed. He was losing his patience. He had to come back. Dean was probably asleep on the ground and Sam was probably upset. He didn’t have time for this, he’d better leave this soul here, making fun of someone else, if he was a treat he’ll kill him later but now he was tired.
Taking his shotgun he turned away.
“John, please. We are the same person. I know that this seems like a joke but it is the truth.” The man pleaded. “I want you to change, please. I need you to change.”
This didn’t stop John, he kept walking.
“Dean is gonna die. Sammy is gonna be all alone. You’ll see how they suffer while you can’t do anything to stop it And then Sam is gonna do something to bring his brother back, but their life never is gonna get better. It’s a hopeless fight.”
John stopped. “Why should I believe you?” he whispered.
“Because you know it’s true. You know that what you’re doing is wrong, you try to deny it, telling yourself that Mary deserves being avenged, but in this vendetta you are losing and they are losing too. You could do better and you know it. You are your own enemy.”
It could be a trap. But he had been thinking about this. The life that he chose: being a nomad, looking for something to kill, making contacts, kill what killed Mary and making justifications every time he saw Dean’s eyes. “This is…-“
“The truth.”
He knew that that future could happen, but he would be there to stop it. Did he even care for a future? He didn’t think ahead to the future. He didn’t have anything planned to do in a few months, in a few years; he didn’t care for what was to come. Did he want to have his kids in filthy motels and wearing old clothes for the rest of their lives? Did he want Dean to use a gun and sleep with a knife under his pillow like he told him to? Did he want Sam to stop smiling and now wear the same stoic face that he and Dean wore everyday? Oh God Dean.
“How is Dean going…-?”
“Killed painfully with Sam watching and with demons looking for them”
John turned again and with tears in his eyes he dropped his gun. I did all that.
The old John smiled. He did it. “You still have time. They are waiting for you…” With those words the man walked away and slowly disappeared.
John smiled and drying his face walked back to his cars. His first steps were undecided, he left his guns, he left the holy water, if this was a trap he would be at its mercy; but while he was closer and closer to his car he was anxious, seeing his boy with the gun still in his hands all those words come to him “Killed painfully with Sam watching and with demons looking for them.” He’ll change that, he will; none of his boy will die.
Dean watched him carefully and frowned when he didn’t see his father’s weapon. John smiled assuredly but Dean whispered anyway. “Christo”
John laughed and hugged his son.
Killed painfully.
God, how he missed this.
Dean was shocked and just let himself be hugged. He didn’t move but seconds passed and he melted in his father’s arms. He missed this.
“Sir?” His son called.
You won’t be a father.
“Dean.” John smiled at him. “Son.” He kissed his little cold forehead. “I’m your dad, no more sir, okay?”
The boy frowned. Dad? But he said…
“Let’s go find a good hotel, your brother will have a sore neck and you are gonna get a cold if we stay here much longer.” John said walking to the car with Dean still in his arms. “We’ll find a way, Dean. I’ll find a way, son.” He said hugging him again before put him inside the car next to a once again sleeping Sam.
They stopped in front of a hotel and Dean now knew that his father wasn’t confused when he said let’s go find a good hotel, he wanted to know when they were going back to the motel and if the other guns and his father’s journal were safe but he didn’t say a word, he wanted to feel his father arms again so in a soft bed with Sam in the other bed he went to sleep with his father’s arms around him and the soft sound of the TV.
He woke up to the sounds of giggles and Barney’s voice. Sammy. He opened his eyes and was surprised to find himself in a nice bed, with a soft pillow and in a room that was actually clean.
“Hey kiddo.” His father said from the other side of the room, where he had the phone book on his legs. “I’ll order your breakfast.”
He ate breakfast, and waited for the new orders. He watched cartoons with Sam and waited for orders. He went to the restaurant, ordered his food and waited for orders. He went to the shopping mall and waited for orders. It wasn’t until four days later, when his father called his grandmother, packed all their clothes and toys and went to the airport, that Dean knew that he didn’t have to wait for orders anymore.
His mom was right. He just had to have faith.
The End
Warning: Completely Au
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Thanks to Brittany Jones for being my beta
With Sam safely in the car, John took his guns, handed one to his oldest son check the holy water, closed the car door and walked to the park where a man had been appearing.
At first John thought that it was just some guy looking for trouble, but it was when Dean ,while walking to school with some friends, saw a man calling them by their name with black eyes that John decided to take care of this.
“Dean!” John called out his oldest.
The young boy ,with a hesitant move, was by his father’s side answering like he was told to. “Sir”
“Stay here. Don’t drop your gun. You see anything ,you shot. Watch your brother.” John expelled the words in the same militant way that he had done since a year ago. He entered the park and without looking back, went to do his job.
It took some time, but now Dean within six and a half years, learned to followed his father’s orders naturally, or at least that was what John said to himself.
It was a cold night, he had a jacket but it wasn’t of much help. Dean kept an eye on the park entrance and other on his sleeping little brother. He was sleepy and had a slight headache but he didn’t drop his gun.
The time passed and his father hadn’t come back, it was unusual but Dean knew better than to go looking for him. He could feel the desperation growing. With a deep breath he tried not to cry. Before, crying wasn’t a problem. His father always did something to make him feel good, but now he couldn’t cry. His father would say that it won’t help him or Sam if something was attacking them, but even knowing this, he couldn’t stop the tears. Sometimes it hurt so much, thinking that many of the kids in his class were more than probably in a warn bed, with soft blankets, having happy dreams while he was here, in the middle of the night, with a gun in his hands, trying not to tremble because of the cold wind, watching his brother who by now was awake but playing silently with some keys and waiting for his father who should have been back by now. It hurt.
He was getting nervous, his father had been gone for two and a half hours, and he never took so long. Maybe he should go and see if help was needed but no, he had to look out for Sam and if his father came back while he was gone, let’s just say he won’t be happy. But his dad could be in trouble, hurt, asking for help, bleeding, dying…
STOP!!!!!
His mind screamed. His father told him that freaking out didn’t solve troubles, and now he couldn’t freak out, it wasn’t going to help. He had to wait like his father told him and remember what his mother used to tell him before going to sleep.
He just had to have faith. He trusted his mother when she said that with having faith everything would be fine. Even with her gone he still had faith. It was silly but some nights when it was just the two of them and both were scared, although Dean couldn’t get scared, he liked to tell Sam that if they have faith the scary things would go away, maybe his little brother didn’t understand what he was saying but that big smile calmed Dean a little and helped to forget that he wanted his dad to come back. So even if his father didn’t have faith anymore, Dean would make sure to have enough for his father and his baby brother.
After all, faith was the only thing left. That’s what his mother said.
&&&&&&&
John had been trapped with a creature; he guessed that it was a shapershifter. The thing looked just like him, with some gray hear and pale face but they looked the same. He had a cut on his head and one on his lips but he could fifth(fight?), the creature didn’t throw him against the wall that hard. He lost consciousness for he guessed about an hour and now the creature is telling him about some future. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was curious, seeing the shapershifter was like seeing himself in a mirror, but creatures like this were supposed to kill him and until now he had some cuts but mostly self-inflicted from trying to run from it.
“I made mistakes, you are going to make mistakes.” The creature told him. ”Yea I know, you are human and you’re trying to kill what killed Mary but in the process you’ll lose everything.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You aren’t as blind as I was.”
“Who were you?”
“You. But you still can be saved.”
“What are you saying? Saved from what?”
“The question would be from whom, and the answer is: from you” He smiled sadly at John startled face. “You are gonna lose your priorities, your love, your children, your humanity…your life.”
John snorted “So you are here because you died.” He had to make time; his gun was two meters in front of him. He just needed to move smoothly, take his gun and finish with this.
The man shook his head “No, I’m here because of what happened after I died.”
“What?” John finally dropped his hand. He wasn’t an expert in the hunting thing but somehow he knew that this twin wasn’t going to hurt him but he had in his head the words, if is supernatural, kill it. “What do you want?” He needed to go back to his kids, Dean would be freaking out and Sam must be hungry.
“Don’t worry, he learns very well. He’ll take care of Sammy. After all, that was what you told him to do.” The man spoke like he could read his mind.
Who is this guy? He can’t be me. He should be a Shaper shifter or demon that wanted to play with him.
“No, I’m not a demon, I was in hell but that was because of a deal with The Demon” The man chuckled when John’s head almost break at the words. “Yea, I’m dead, I was in hell, I made a deal. And I come back in time to stop you”
The man wasn’t surprised when John moved fast, took his gun and shot at him. He just raised an eyebrow when the bullet went through him.
“What are you?” John stuttered.
“I’m a soul. Yea I know stupid but, well…when you die and go to heaven you become a soul. That what books say.” The creature, John Winchester, signed and sat next to his younger self. It was the first time in many years that he talked in this calm and sarcastic voice. He could feel the bicker temper trying to reappear but that won’t help. His younger self still was docile and somehow innocent, this John hadn’t see the atrocities of the hunt or seen his sons hate him, run away from him and die, this John didn’t know the pain of lost a son.
“Yeah, but you said you went to hell.” John’s eyes, the younger John’s eyes, were wide open. His face didn’t have that swallow and cold appearance that the old John had when he saw his boys in Salvation. “So we’re the same person, you died; and you’ve come back to the past and to what? Stop me? Stop me from doing what?”
“This” The old John answered gestured to all his surrounding. And before his younger self could say something he said. “This work needs to be done, but you have too much to lose. Even if you think that there is nothing left, your sons are everything and if you keep with this, you are going to lose them.”
Younger John swallowed and breathed deeply. “Mary(?)…I …. How can you tell me to stop this, you said that we killed the demon, if I stop then the demon is going to be out there and…”
“And your children are going to have the father that they deserve” The supposed old john interrupted.
John looked hard at the man. His children were fine, Dean was obedient and Sam was growing up and soon both would be ready to…
“Ready to kill and became strangers” Old John could read his mind; they were the same person after all. “They won’t be your children. Dean would be your soldier and Sam would be Dean’s responsibility. You won’t be a father”
John shook his head. Took his gun again and spill holy water next to his older self. Nothing changed. He was losing his patience. He had to come back. Dean was probably asleep on the ground and Sam was probably upset. He didn’t have time for this, he’d better leave this soul here, making fun of someone else, if he was a treat he’ll kill him later but now he was tired.
Taking his shotgun he turned away.
“John, please. We are the same person. I know that this seems like a joke but it is the truth.” The man pleaded. “I want you to change, please. I need you to change.”
This didn’t stop John, he kept walking.
“Dean is gonna die. Sammy is gonna be all alone. You’ll see how they suffer while you can’t do anything to stop it And then Sam is gonna do something to bring his brother back, but their life never is gonna get better. It’s a hopeless fight.”
John stopped. “Why should I believe you?” he whispered.
“Because you know it’s true. You know that what you’re doing is wrong, you try to deny it, telling yourself that Mary deserves being avenged, but in this vendetta you are losing and they are losing too. You could do better and you know it. You are your own enemy.”
It could be a trap. But he had been thinking about this. The life that he chose: being a nomad, looking for something to kill, making contacts, kill what killed Mary and making justifications every time he saw Dean’s eyes. “This is…-“
“The truth.”
He knew that that future could happen, but he would be there to stop it. Did he even care for a future? He didn’t think ahead to the future. He didn’t have anything planned to do in a few months, in a few years; he didn’t care for what was to come. Did he want to have his kids in filthy motels and wearing old clothes for the rest of their lives? Did he want Dean to use a gun and sleep with a knife under his pillow like he told him to? Did he want Sam to stop smiling and now wear the same stoic face that he and Dean wore everyday? Oh God Dean.
“How is Dean going…-?”
“Killed painfully with Sam watching and with demons looking for them”
John turned again and with tears in his eyes he dropped his gun. I did all that.
The old John smiled. He did it. “You still have time. They are waiting for you…” With those words the man walked away and slowly disappeared.
John smiled and drying his face walked back to his cars. His first steps were undecided, he left his guns, he left the holy water, if this was a trap he would be at its mercy; but while he was closer and closer to his car he was anxious, seeing his boy with the gun still in his hands all those words come to him “Killed painfully with Sam watching and with demons looking for them.” He’ll change that, he will; none of his boy will die.
Dean watched him carefully and frowned when he didn’t see his father’s weapon. John smiled assuredly but Dean whispered anyway. “Christo”
John laughed and hugged his son.
Killed painfully.
God, how he missed this.
Dean was shocked and just let himself be hugged. He didn’t move but seconds passed and he melted in his father’s arms. He missed this.
“Sir?” His son called.
You won’t be a father.
“Dean.” John smiled at him. “Son.” He kissed his little cold forehead. “I’m your dad, no more sir, okay?”
The boy frowned. Dad? But he said…
“Let’s go find a good hotel, your brother will have a sore neck and you are gonna get a cold if we stay here much longer.” John said walking to the car with Dean still in his arms. “We’ll find a way, Dean. I’ll find a way, son.” He said hugging him again before put him inside the car next to a once again sleeping Sam.
They stopped in front of a hotel and Dean now knew that his father wasn’t confused when he said let’s go find a good hotel, he wanted to know when they were going back to the motel and if the other guns and his father’s journal were safe but he didn’t say a word, he wanted to feel his father arms again so in a soft bed with Sam in the other bed he went to sleep with his father’s arms around him and the soft sound of the TV.
He woke up to the sounds of giggles and Barney’s voice. Sammy. He opened his eyes and was surprised to find himself in a nice bed, with a soft pillow and in a room that was actually clean.
“Hey kiddo.” His father said from the other side of the room, where he had the phone book on his legs. “I’ll order your breakfast.”
He ate breakfast, and waited for the new orders. He watched cartoons with Sam and waited for orders. He went to the restaurant, ordered his food and waited for orders. He went to the shopping mall and waited for orders. It wasn’t until four days later, when his father called his grandmother, packed all their clothes and toys and went to the airport, that Dean knew that he didn’t have to wait for orders anymore.
His mom was right. He just had to have faith.
The End