Fic: Abandon all hope
Title: Abandon all hope
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Tim/Tony Lex/Clark
Summary: “I love him so much that it hurts” Tony gave up any hope of being with his probie again. “But its better this way”
Warning: Slash, angst, slight crossover. I made Tony younger that what he really is.
Word count: 2000 aprox.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters.
A/N: This is my first NCIS fic ever, so please don’t be cruel; I have no idea why I wrote this. And I’m not an English-speaking person, so have mercy, ‘kay?
“What do you mean it’s over?” Tim chocked out.
Tony rolled his eyes. “We are over. I’m breaking up with you, McSlow” The older man said with annoyance.
Tim couldn’t talk. He wasn’t expecting this; he thought they were happy and that everything was going well between the two of them. “Tony…I…why?” He was holding back tears.
Ton swallowed and for a moment McGee could have sworn that he saw pain in his eyes. “This between us isn’t going to work. You’re a nice guy and all but not my type. I like you like a friend and although the sex was good…-“
“The sex was good?” Tim shouted. “I was just sex for you?” He looked at Tony with rage. “I love you, you know? But its obvious tat you don’t love me back. Just tell me why you did this to me? Why are you doing this, Tony?”
Tony just shrugged. “I don’t know. The true is that I like you but not enough to be in a relationship with you. Like I said before, the sex was really good. Actually you surprised me; I didn’t think you would turn into a whore”
-Hit-
Tony stood stunned. Tim had hit him, and hard. “I see your training with Ziva is giving results” He touched his mouth. Damn, that hurt.
-Hit-
Tim looked at who he thought was his boyfriend. “I don’t want to see you ever again”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“Fuck” Was said when keys and cellphone fell to the floor. “Stupid”
Tony barely made it to his apartment. Apparently vodka and tequila were a bad combination. I don’t want to see you ever again. But they worked; his voice wasn’t in his mind anymore. I love you, you know? Yeah, Tony knew that; that was the reason; that was why.
“I must agree you are stupid” A voice said to the agent. “When I told you to break every tie you had here I did not mean for you to destroy him, Tony” The man got close to Tony and helped him to pick the keys and phone up.
Tony snorted. “Like a bye-bye would have worked for him or you” He walked to his bedroom and with great effort opened the drawer of the night stand.
“You were cruel with him. He loves you” The man said to the drunken man from the doorway. “You need sleep”
“Really?” Tony slurred. “You first said that I needed to go with you, I needed to leave…leave him” He sniffled. “Don’t tell me what I need to do, please. At least not now. Fuck, where is it?”
The man rolled his eyes. “You are drunk, Anthony. Go to sleep” He sat in front of the man that was clearly shattered after the day events.
“Why did I record that?” Tony shocked his head. “I have to find it”
The man took him by the arms and somehow Tony found himself with his head on his pillow and gentle hands taking off his shoes.
“Whatever you are looking is not going to be found tonight”
“If he finds it, he’ll know” Tony almost cried but was to tired and drunk to do it. “I don’t want him to know”
The man stroked the dark haired man but said nothing.
“I love him, Lex. I love him so fucking much”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“Well, Agent McGee. I don’t know what happened between you two but you don’t have to worry about Agent Dinozzo. You don’t need to resign” The Director had said to Tim with sympathy. “Agent Dinozzo resigned three days ago, he was just finishing paperwork and late reports”
It had been a hard night. He cried himself to sleep after getting home with Abby’s help. After Tony left him alone in the conference room, Tim had wanted to follow him but the last bit of dignity inside of him stopped him. Dignity, he wanted to laugh out loud. He doubted he had any of that left. Tony had destroyed it after saying that he was just a good fuck and nothing more. If he had had dignity he would have stopped Tony for hurting him, for treating him like trash.
Abby had tried to convince him, but Tim decided that the best was to be away from Tony. But it looked like Tony decided it first and not only did he break up with him but quit his job. Apparently he and NCIS weren’t enough for Dinozzo anymore. Tim had thought that Tony was happy; he thought that they were in love. But now he didn’t know what to think anymore, he was so confused.
“You know something McGee?” Gibbs broke his thoughts. The older Agent was in front of him with a meaningful look. “McGee?” The older man had saw it coming but his gut were telling him that something was wrong, there was a real reason for Tony to do this but Gibbs didn’t know what or where to looks for answers.
Tim swallowed hard. “What Boss?” Why had he come to work?
“Rule twelve exist for a reason” Gibbs said harshly. “You knew better that to let him get into your pants; it didn’t work out? Too bad. Now deal with it because I’m sure Dinozzo isn’t crying for you”
Tim didn’t respond. He just stared at his boss incredulously. How could someone be so egotistical and such a bastard? He was treated like shit by the man that was supposed to love him, the man that had said I love you in their third date the man that called him whore and he was supposed to suck it up and deal with it when all he wanted was to curl in a ball and die?
I didn’t think you would turn into a whore.
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“You could call him and apologize” Lex said once again to Tony. He had tried to convince him to call his ex lover but the agent refused. “Tony, I never meant for it to…-“
“Shut up” Tony snapped. “I know. I could call him but what good would that do?”He started out of the window. “It’s better this way”
Lex smiled despite himself. “You sound like Clark”
Tony raised an eyebrow. “You’re comparing me with your Farm Boy? Why, thank you”
“You know what I mean. He distanced himself from everyone because he didn’t want his family and friends to suffer but we suffered anyway”
The hurt tone made Tony feel worst.
“Every time Clark lied to me, it hurt me. Every time he ran away and left me waiting for him I died a little. But I made him see that we could do this together”
Tony continued to watch though the window with false amusement. He refused to acknowledge Lex’s words.
“You can tell yourself whatever makes you feel better, Tony. However, you know that you did wrong but that you still can fix it.”
“I can’t tell him who I really am, Lex” Tony said in a broken voice. “Clark and you are different, you can protect each other. I can’t protect Timmy” He coughed, his voice rough. “Secrets are secrets for a reason; he can’t know the true about me”
Shaking his head, Lex puts his drink down and clasps his hands in front of himself, his eyes focused intently on his friend. “That isn’t quite true, Tony. I can protect the both of you and I’m sure that Agent Gibbs would do too”
“Yeah, but for how long? “ Tony said before standing up and fixed himself a drink. “What I am could get him killed and I rather stay away from him knowing he hates me that being with him risking his life”
“By the way, did you find the CD you were looking for?”
“No, I just pry they don’t find it”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
It had been three long weeks. Abby thought sadly. Since Tony left everything was a mess; Gibbs was grumpier than usual, Ziva barely talked, Ducky stayed in the morgue all the time and Tim…oh, Tim. He was the one in the worst condition; it was reasonable after everything that happened but Abby really wished that Tony would call to tell her something so this anger inside her would dissipate and she could understand why he hurt Tim.
The young agent was barely carrying out his work, his efficiency and geeky demeanor were gone and all that was left was a shell of the once happy and loving Tim.
Tony destroyed him.
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“I understand why you’re doing this and I also know that with keeping this secret you’re hurting him and yourself” Clark Kent was with Tony who was playing the piano. Seeing him there, playing in the same way that Lionel and Lex did make it clear that it was true, Tony Dinozzo was a Luthor. “He would never hate you, fear you or leave you. He loves you” He had tried to stay away from the subject but he couldn’t ignore the other man’s pain.”You’re choosing for him, let him chose what to do”
“Wrong” Tony said in a sing-song voice. “He already hates me. I made sure of that”
“When I talked with Lex.-“
“Lex is not Tim, Clark” Tony said bitterly. “Lex knew that you were hiding something and after living in this town he wasn’t surprised that you were an alien. With me is different”
“Why?”
“I can’t just tell him that I’m the cloned version of a dead baby that was killed by his own mother” Tony was hurting, that much was obvious, but only he knew how empty and devastated he felt. He was there because of Lex, if the other man hadn’t appeared before, Tony was sure he would have been dead by now. “And there’s Sheppard and Lionel. They would kill him”
Clark didn’t say anything else. He knew how it felt to go away from the person that you loved and stay away knowing that that person was hurting because of you.
“I love him so much that it hurts” Tony gave up any hope of being with his probie again. “But its better this way”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“Sheppard, I never expected you to do it so fast” Lionel Luthor kissed her cheek.
She smiled pleasantly. “I told you I’d put Tony in your hands and Gibbs and McGee aren’t a threat, they hatred Dinozzo. Now all you have to do is take him” She sat in his lap. “I don’t really understand why you want him so much”
“He’s my son after all, Jenny. I want him with me”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“I’m okay Abby” Tim rolled his eyes. She was doing it again, the mother hen was back. “I just went home early. We didn’t have a case so I went home” He was better, Tim admitted to himself. He didn’t cry himself to sleep anymore and food had taste once again. The pain was there but he was getting used to feel that hole in his soul.
Abby pouted. “You swear?”
Tim laughed and although it was a good sound it wasn’t the same carefree laugh that he had before. “I swear. I went home, had something to eat and went to bed” The late sex nights were over. Tony used to come to Tim’s home with ice cream and a DVD, the former was of great use the latter was always forgotten after twenty minutes of ‘playing’.
“Don’t think about him, Tim” Abby hugged him. “He doesn’t deserve it”
“I know, Abbs” Tim smiled sadly. “But I love him. Now tell me what has you so anxious”
Abby bit his lip. “Nothing”
“Abby?” He raised an eyebrow in that way that Tony always said he found sexy.
She gave envelope. “It was found in his room when Gibbs and Ziva broke in”
“What it is and why…-?”
“I don’t know, Ziva said that you should read it. That maybe it will explain his actions” She shrugged at him when he gave her an incredulous look. “There’s nothing to lose. Ziva found it under key in a drawer”
Tim looked the envelope “There’s nothing to lose after all”
And he opened it.
It was a CD.
The End.
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Tim/Tony Lex/Clark
Summary: “I love him so much that it hurts” Tony gave up any hope of being with his probie again. “But its better this way”
Warning: Slash, angst, slight crossover. I made Tony younger that what he really is.
Word count: 2000 aprox.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters.
A/N: This is my first NCIS fic ever, so please don’t be cruel; I have no idea why I wrote this. And I’m not an English-speaking person, so have mercy, ‘kay?
“What do you mean it’s over?” Tim chocked out.
Tony rolled his eyes. “We are over. I’m breaking up with you, McSlow” The older man said with annoyance.
Tim couldn’t talk. He wasn’t expecting this; he thought they were happy and that everything was going well between the two of them. “Tony…I…why?” He was holding back tears.
Ton swallowed and for a moment McGee could have sworn that he saw pain in his eyes. “This between us isn’t going to work. You’re a nice guy and all but not my type. I like you like a friend and although the sex was good…-“
“The sex was good?” Tim shouted. “I was just sex for you?” He looked at Tony with rage. “I love you, you know? But its obvious tat you don’t love me back. Just tell me why you did this to me? Why are you doing this, Tony?”
Tony just shrugged. “I don’t know. The true is that I like you but not enough to be in a relationship with you. Like I said before, the sex was really good. Actually you surprised me; I didn’t think you would turn into a whore”
-Hit-
Tony stood stunned. Tim had hit him, and hard. “I see your training with Ziva is giving results” He touched his mouth. Damn, that hurt.
-Hit-
Tim looked at who he thought was his boyfriend. “I don’t want to see you ever again”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“Fuck” Was said when keys and cellphone fell to the floor. “Stupid”
Tony barely made it to his apartment. Apparently vodka and tequila were a bad combination. I don’t want to see you ever again. But they worked; his voice wasn’t in his mind anymore. I love you, you know? Yeah, Tony knew that; that was the reason; that was why.
“I must agree you are stupid” A voice said to the agent. “When I told you to break every tie you had here I did not mean for you to destroy him, Tony” The man got close to Tony and helped him to pick the keys and phone up.
Tony snorted. “Like a bye-bye would have worked for him or you” He walked to his bedroom and with great effort opened the drawer of the night stand.
“You were cruel with him. He loves you” The man said to the drunken man from the doorway. “You need sleep”
“Really?” Tony slurred. “You first said that I needed to go with you, I needed to leave…leave him” He sniffled. “Don’t tell me what I need to do, please. At least not now. Fuck, where is it?”
The man rolled his eyes. “You are drunk, Anthony. Go to sleep” He sat in front of the man that was clearly shattered after the day events.
“Why did I record that?” Tony shocked his head. “I have to find it”
The man took him by the arms and somehow Tony found himself with his head on his pillow and gentle hands taking off his shoes.
“Whatever you are looking is not going to be found tonight”
“If he finds it, he’ll know” Tony almost cried but was to tired and drunk to do it. “I don’t want him to know”
The man stroked the dark haired man but said nothing.
“I love him, Lex. I love him so fucking much”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“Well, Agent McGee. I don’t know what happened between you two but you don’t have to worry about Agent Dinozzo. You don’t need to resign” The Director had said to Tim with sympathy. “Agent Dinozzo resigned three days ago, he was just finishing paperwork and late reports”
It had been a hard night. He cried himself to sleep after getting home with Abby’s help. After Tony left him alone in the conference room, Tim had wanted to follow him but the last bit of dignity inside of him stopped him. Dignity, he wanted to laugh out loud. He doubted he had any of that left. Tony had destroyed it after saying that he was just a good fuck and nothing more. If he had had dignity he would have stopped Tony for hurting him, for treating him like trash.
Abby had tried to convince him, but Tim decided that the best was to be away from Tony. But it looked like Tony decided it first and not only did he break up with him but quit his job. Apparently he and NCIS weren’t enough for Dinozzo anymore. Tim had thought that Tony was happy; he thought that they were in love. But now he didn’t know what to think anymore, he was so confused.
“You know something McGee?” Gibbs broke his thoughts. The older Agent was in front of him with a meaningful look. “McGee?” The older man had saw it coming but his gut were telling him that something was wrong, there was a real reason for Tony to do this but Gibbs didn’t know what or where to looks for answers.
Tim swallowed hard. “What Boss?” Why had he come to work?
“Rule twelve exist for a reason” Gibbs said harshly. “You knew better that to let him get into your pants; it didn’t work out? Too bad. Now deal with it because I’m sure Dinozzo isn’t crying for you”
Tim didn’t respond. He just stared at his boss incredulously. How could someone be so egotistical and such a bastard? He was treated like shit by the man that was supposed to love him, the man that had said I love you in their third date the man that called him whore and he was supposed to suck it up and deal with it when all he wanted was to curl in a ball and die?
I didn’t think you would turn into a whore.
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“You could call him and apologize” Lex said once again to Tony. He had tried to convince him to call his ex lover but the agent refused. “Tony, I never meant for it to…-“
“Shut up” Tony snapped. “I know. I could call him but what good would that do?”He started out of the window. “It’s better this way”
Lex smiled despite himself. “You sound like Clark”
Tony raised an eyebrow. “You’re comparing me with your Farm Boy? Why, thank you”
“You know what I mean. He distanced himself from everyone because he didn’t want his family and friends to suffer but we suffered anyway”
The hurt tone made Tony feel worst.
“Every time Clark lied to me, it hurt me. Every time he ran away and left me waiting for him I died a little. But I made him see that we could do this together”
Tony continued to watch though the window with false amusement. He refused to acknowledge Lex’s words.
“You can tell yourself whatever makes you feel better, Tony. However, you know that you did wrong but that you still can fix it.”
“I can’t tell him who I really am, Lex” Tony said in a broken voice. “Clark and you are different, you can protect each other. I can’t protect Timmy” He coughed, his voice rough. “Secrets are secrets for a reason; he can’t know the true about me”
Shaking his head, Lex puts his drink down and clasps his hands in front of himself, his eyes focused intently on his friend. “That isn’t quite true, Tony. I can protect the both of you and I’m sure that Agent Gibbs would do too”
“Yeah, but for how long? “ Tony said before standing up and fixed himself a drink. “What I am could get him killed and I rather stay away from him knowing he hates me that being with him risking his life”
“By the way, did you find the CD you were looking for?”
“No, I just pry they don’t find it”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
It had been three long weeks. Abby thought sadly. Since Tony left everything was a mess; Gibbs was grumpier than usual, Ziva barely talked, Ducky stayed in the morgue all the time and Tim…oh, Tim. He was the one in the worst condition; it was reasonable after everything that happened but Abby really wished that Tony would call to tell her something so this anger inside her would dissipate and she could understand why he hurt Tim.
The young agent was barely carrying out his work, his efficiency and geeky demeanor were gone and all that was left was a shell of the once happy and loving Tim.
Tony destroyed him.
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“I understand why you’re doing this and I also know that with keeping this secret you’re hurting him and yourself” Clark Kent was with Tony who was playing the piano. Seeing him there, playing in the same way that Lionel and Lex did make it clear that it was true, Tony Dinozzo was a Luthor. “He would never hate you, fear you or leave you. He loves you” He had tried to stay away from the subject but he couldn’t ignore the other man’s pain.”You’re choosing for him, let him chose what to do”
“Wrong” Tony said in a sing-song voice. “He already hates me. I made sure of that”
“When I talked with Lex.-“
“Lex is not Tim, Clark” Tony said bitterly. “Lex knew that you were hiding something and after living in this town he wasn’t surprised that you were an alien. With me is different”
“Why?”
“I can’t just tell him that I’m the cloned version of a dead baby that was killed by his own mother” Tony was hurting, that much was obvious, but only he knew how empty and devastated he felt. He was there because of Lex, if the other man hadn’t appeared before, Tony was sure he would have been dead by now. “And there’s Sheppard and Lionel. They would kill him”
Clark didn’t say anything else. He knew how it felt to go away from the person that you loved and stay away knowing that that person was hurting because of you.
“I love him so much that it hurts” Tony gave up any hope of being with his probie again. “But its better this way”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“Sheppard, I never expected you to do it so fast” Lionel Luthor kissed her cheek.
She smiled pleasantly. “I told you I’d put Tony in your hands and Gibbs and McGee aren’t a threat, they hatred Dinozzo. Now all you have to do is take him” She sat in his lap. “I don’t really understand why you want him so much”
“He’s my son after all, Jenny. I want him with me”
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-
“I’m okay Abby” Tim rolled his eyes. She was doing it again, the mother hen was back. “I just went home early. We didn’t have a case so I went home” He was better, Tim admitted to himself. He didn’t cry himself to sleep anymore and food had taste once again. The pain was there but he was getting used to feel that hole in his soul.
Abby pouted. “You swear?”
Tim laughed and although it was a good sound it wasn’t the same carefree laugh that he had before. “I swear. I went home, had something to eat and went to bed” The late sex nights were over. Tony used to come to Tim’s home with ice cream and a DVD, the former was of great use the latter was always forgotten after twenty minutes of ‘playing’.
“Don’t think about him, Tim” Abby hugged him. “He doesn’t deserve it”
“I know, Abbs” Tim smiled sadly. “But I love him. Now tell me what has you so anxious”
Abby bit his lip. “Nothing”
“Abby?” He raised an eyebrow in that way that Tony always said he found sexy.
She gave envelope. “It was found in his room when Gibbs and Ziva broke in”
“What it is and why…-?”
“I don’t know, Ziva said that you should read it. That maybe it will explain his actions” She shrugged at him when he gave her an incredulous look. “There’s nothing to lose. Ziva found it under key in a drawer”
Tim looked the envelope “There’s nothing to lose after all”
And he opened it.
It was a CD.
The End.