Men in Black 3/7
Title: Men in Black
Author: bollywoodrecord
Pairing(s): Hankyung/CL, Donghae/Minzy, Siwon/Bom, Kyuhyun/Dara
Genre: AU, Comedy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A group of four spies, working together in an outrageous plan to maintain their dignity.
A/N: I feel a bit conceited, but I get amused by my own writing. Is that strange? I hope not...
Tuesday, April 12: 0645
Can’t read my, can’t read my - no, he can’t read my poker face (she’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my - no he can’t read my poker-
There was a loud groan, a hand slammed down on a bedside table, and a flip of a cellular device. “What the hell do you want?” Siwon growled into his phone, still lying in his bed. Damn Heechul for changing his ringtone again.
“Get out of bed and meet me at Starbucks in fifteen minutes. I figured out what we need to do.” Hankyung hung up the phone, leaving Siwon to get ready.
Twenty minutes later, the religious man was seated across from Hankyung with a large cup of black coffee in his hand, and a Danish wrapper on the table. “Now, what is it you need to tell me that forced me to get up at six freaking am?” he began.
“Actually, it was six forty-five, but that doesn’t really matter. What I had to tell you was that I know now our new plan for Saturday night. It’s perfect.” Hankyung grinned, taking a sip of his drink.
Siwon, on the other hand, looked bewildered. “What?! We’re getting a new plan so far into the mission?”
“Well, it’s not really a new plan,” Hankyung said, “but more like a ‘revised version.’”
“And by that, you mean…?”
“We’re gonna get you a date.” The coffee in Siwon’s mouth proceeded to fly out and directly onto Hankyung’s face.
“WHAT?!”
“Um, waiter, can I please have a couple of napkins?”
“I’M GONNA GO WITH A DATE? WHAT THE - WHAT IS THIS?!”
“Actually, I’m probably going to need a rag. Or a beach towel.”
“WHEN DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS PLAN? HAVE DONGHAE AND KYUHYUN AGREED TO THIS?!”
“How much liquid can you hold in your mouth at once, Siwon? That was a lot of coffee.”
“THIS IS HORRIBLE! I CAN’T GO WITH A DATE!”
“Maybe I should order you something smaller next time…”
“WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SPIES, NOT A SECRET DATING SERVICE! WHAT THE HELL, HANKYUNG?!”
Hankyung sighed. “Chill, Siwon, it’s not like you’ll actually be dating her. We’ve gotten approval from the other spy associations, and they’re letting us borrow a chick.”
“Borrow a chick? Is that how you like to use us, huh, Hankyung-ah?” Siwon turned around, meeting eyes with a tall blonde girl in sky-high stilettos. Hankyung, instead of being startled, just smirked.
“Yeah, that is. So you gonna bring your chicks over or what?” She grinned.
“Girls! I’d like to introduce to you my friend, Geng. Hangeng.” As three girls trailed after the taller one, Siwon gulped while realizing all of them seemed as fierce as her - except the last girl, with the flowing red hair and the only one wearing a dress.
“Call me Hankyung,” he told them, kissing each one of them on the cheek. “And this,” he introduced, “is Choi Siwon, or main entrance into the hall this Saturday.”
Three of the four girls eyed him from top to bottom, before the shortest girl, in black hair and bright purple highlights, nodded. “I approve.”
The next girl, in faded blonde hair and an interesting sense of style, did the same. “Me too. What do you think, Chaerin?”
The oldest girl, Chaerin, took a while before she made up her mind. “Hm… I can see what he’d be able to do. He can be with Bom, okay?” Hankyung nodded.
“Whatever you want. I’ll direct the other two where to go, and then these two can go and do whatever they want for their date night.”
Chaerin smiled and walked to the quiet, redhead girl, whispering a few words in her ear before giving her a gentle nudge towards Siwon. He noticed this action and immediately stood up, bowing down at her. “Um, h - hello,” he stuttered. “I’m Choiwon Si - I mean, Choi Siwon.” He held out his hand, and she shyly took it, giggling.
“I’m Park Bom,” she whispered. “Just call me Bom.” Siwon smiled at her and invited her to take the seat next to him.
“Uh, so I assume you know what you’re here for…?” She lowered her head, but he could still see the faint blush spread through her cheeks.
Bom shook her head. “Sorry, they didn’t tell me.”
Siwon coughed into his fist, a little bit awkwardly. “Oh, um, well… We’re on a mission, me and Hankyung and Kyuhyun and Donghae, and I need a date for this party I’m going to be attending Saturday.”
Her skin turned even brighter, and Siwon suddenly felt embarrassed. “As friends,” he cleared up. “Strictly as friends.”
“Right, right…” She giggled and tucked her hair behind her ears, smiling at him. “Then are we supposed to…?”
“Oh, yeah!” Siwon immediately stood up, almost knocking into her. “Sorry,” he stammered.
“No, no, you’re fine. Let’s go.” Bom took his arm and led him out of the coffee place, taking him to a motorcycle that looked totally out of place compared to the rest of the cars. “This is my ride,” she gestured. Siwon gulped.
“This?” he asked weakly.
“Yeah. You don’t have a problem riding it, do you?” Siwon shook his head.
His problem wasn’t the vehicle - it was more the girl riding it. Maybe Bom wasn’t what she seemed like…
They both got onto the car, and it took a while before Bom finally worked up the nerve to wrap her hands around Siwon’s waist. Riding off to the mall, Siwon’s heart was thumping louder than it ever had.
When they got to their destination, Siwon helped Bom off the car and they entered the side exit of the mall, quickly finding the store to try on suits. Siwon quickly dressed in and out of a few before Bom decided which one she preferred - a regular black suit with a matching hat.
When it was Bom’s turn, though, Siwon couldn’t decide which dress looked best on her, because she looked absolutely amazing in everything.
Towards the two-hour mark, she had begun to get tired. “Can you please pick a dress, now? I think the saleslady is starting to get frustrated…”
So, in the end, Siwon chose a low-cut black dress with fringe hanging off the neckline. It was a strange choice, but one that suited her pale skin perfectly.
Back at the coffee shop, Chaerin and Heechul were still sitting at the booth and bent over a pile of papers. “This is what we have so far,” Hankyung said, sliding a file towards Chaerin.
She took it from him, opening it slowly.
It was only a couple of minutes before she had read through the whole thing, but her reaction was a lot longer. “Are you serious? This is what you’re fighting for?”
Hankyung nodded. “Why? Not good enough for you?”
Chaerin smirked. “Hell no. It’s perfect.” She stood up and slid out of the booth, taking her oversized bag with her - and the file.
“Wait, I need that back,” Hankyung told her, grabbing for it. Chaerin moved back so he wouldn’t be able to reach it.
“If you want it, you have to get it.” She winked, strutting out of the coffee shop.
It took a second for Hankyung to get his eyes away from the door before he could stand up and follow her out.
In the streets, Dara and Minzy were crossing a busy intersection while getting to Kyuhyun and Donghae’s dorm. The two lived together, along with a third resident - Lee Hyukjae.
When Dara and Minzy did reach the top floor of the apartments, and finally were let inside the dorm but a groggy Kyuhyun, half-asleep Hyukjae, and dead asleep Donghae, they weren’t very surprised. After all, which guys were up at seven to meet up with spies?
Kyuhyun led them to the kitchen table and poured a heavy amount of coffee into his mug. “So, who are you, and what do you want?” he asked bluntly.
Dara glanced at Minzy, grinning. “I’m Dara, and this is Minzy. We’re here to be your dates for Saturday night.” Unlike Siwon, who had spit out his drink, Kyuhyun just nodded.
“And why are you here?”
“We’ve got to get to know each other. Duh.” She rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. There was a crackling sound and suddenly the television came to life. Ten seconds later, Hyukjae had popped out from the hallway and was settling nicely into the leather couch.
“If that’s how you want to get to know us, be my guest,” Kyuhyun said. Minzy stood up. “Where’re you going?”
“To meet my date.”
She left to the hallway, peering into every door until she found the one with the lone occupant. Dara sighed, resting her head on her hand as there was a scream, a string of curse words fly from Donghae’s mouth, and a giggle.
Hyukjae laughed. “Ha, he got hit in the head with a bowling ball… Man, I love Spongebob.” A perfectly arched eyebrow raised from Dara, which Kyuhyun smiled at.
“It’s his favorite show,” he explained, “along with Pokémon. If you plan to keep coming over, you may want to get used to it.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Actually, Chaerin just told me that we were supposed to be your dates for Saturday night. I don’t know what the hell your plan is, and neither does Minzy, but this is bound to be… Interesting.” Dara pointed at Hyukjae. “Especially with that thing being with us.”
Kyuhyun, about to make a witty remark, was interrupted by Donghae, who was flying down the hallway. “MAN, I LOVE THIS GIRL! WHERE HAS SHE BEEN ALL MY LIFE?” Following after him was Minzy, who was beaming and fumbling to put on her shoes.
“We’re going out to the petting zoo at the park - I’ll see you in an hour.”
Donghae smiled at Dara, winked at Kyuhyun, picked an orange from the fruit bowl in the middle of the table, and threw it at Hyukjae’s head. “HEY! I’m leaving.”
Hyukjae waved him off, grabbing the fallen orange and peeling it. “Have fun,” he mumbled.
The two left, leaving Dara in slight shock. “Is this how you three normally are…?”
Kyuhyun nodded and went back to sipping his coffee. “Might as well get used to it.”
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Four
Chapter Five - One
Chapter Five - Two