Men in Black 2/7
Title: Men in Black
Author: bollywoodrecord
Pairing(s): Hankyung/CL, Donghae/Minzy, Siwon/Bom, Kyuhyun/Dara
Genre: AU, Comedy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A group of four spies, working together in an outrageous plan to maintain their dignity.
Sunday, April 10: 1230
Hankyung paced outside of the fast food restaurant, checking his watch every so often. “Where are they…?” he mumbled to himself, tapping his foot impatiently as he leaned against the glass window. “I said at lunch, and it’s already past 12. Where could they - Kyuhyun!”
The younger ran over, holding a large, black laptop bag. When he reached Hankyung, he was totally breathless. “I have - I have something to show you,” he said.
Hankyung eyed the bag, not seeing anyone else. “What took you so long?”
“I slept late last night after some… Issues.”
The Chinese man scoffed, rolling his eyes and opening the door for Kyuhyun. “Sleeping is when you have no one better to do.” He smirked. Kyuhyun widened his eyes, glancing around to make sure no one else heard them.
“Who the hell told you that? Wait, no,” he held up his hand. “Let me guess. Heechul.” Hankyung smiled in answer and led the younger to a table, calling the waiter over for a quick order. “Just order me what you’re getting,” Kyuhyun said absently as he took the laptop out of its case and fiddled with the keys while opening it.
“Okay, then make that two chicken soups.”
Kyuhyun looked at him in disgust. “Never mind, then.” He looked at the waiter, briefly glancing at the menu behind him. “Um… Fried chicken, please. Thanks.” When he left, Kyuhyun went back to the laptop.
“So, what is it that you wanted to show me?”
“Well, last night, I was looking up the site where the banquet was taking place to make sure Donghae really had his plan worked out, when I got a phone call. It was a private number, but when I picked it up, it was Chef Ryeowook.”
He leaned closer to Hankyung, lowering his voice. “I had the call recorded and transferred it into my laptop to see what I could find out by his tone. He wanted to make a deal.” Hankyung’s eyes widened, and he fumbled for the laptop.
“Then what are you waiting for? Show it to me!”
“Ah, ah, ah, don’t touch,” Kyuhyun warned, slapping Hankyung’s hands away. “It’s buffering right now. I think Changmin was downloading some type of software, and it’s totally slowed down my hard drive.”
Nonetheless, the video was loaded up in a couple of seconds. “Okay, here we go.”
He stuck in a pair of headphones, gave one bud to Hankyung, and kept the other for himself. They scooted in closer to the screen as voices began to tumble out of the ear plug.
“I’m thinking of taking your deal.” Hankyung stared at Kyuhyun. He shook his head. “I didn’t get the first part of the conversation, but it wasn’t important.”
There was a sharp intake of breath in the recording. “What?”
“You heard me. What do you think?”
“We want what we asked for. After being there with you since the opening, you haven’t given us anything in return. We’ve even had to pay.” Hankyung nodded in agreement, scowling.
“I’ll give you what you want, but my name’s gonna be included in it too.”
“What?!” Kyuhyun’s tone was shocked, amused, bewildered all at once. “You want your name in there too? What’s next, you want to be included in promotions?”
A chuckle on the other line. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”
“Forget it. We’re not doing it.”
“Are you sure?” Voices in the background. Hankyung glanced at Kyuhyun, who shrugged and paused the video. “It sounded like threats if he didn’t do what they wanted. But he’s only thinking of himself, this whole time.” He sneered. “I’m still agreeing to what you wanted, just with a couple of conditions.”
“You call those conditions? To hell with your conditions. What we asked for is what we’re asking for, nothing more and nothing less. Give it to us, or we’re taking it.” The chef laughed, though it sounded forced.
“If that’s what you want. This is your last chance.” There was a click, followed by a dial tone. Hankyung pulled the bud from his ear, stunned. “Did you really…?”
“Yeah, hung up straight on him.” Kyuhyun smirked and pulled the laptop closer towards him, shutting it and setting it back. “What do you think?”
“It sounded like Yesung and Shindong were backing him up.”
“That’s what I thought.” Hankyung rubbed his chin, and then scratched his head. “You look tired,” Kyuhyun told him.
“Yeah, well I am. This mission is a lot harder than I’d expected it to be.” He checked his watch, and then grabbed the bowl of soup that the waiter had unknowingly dropped off at their table. “Where are Siwon and Donghae? It’s an hour past noon, and Heechul will be wondering where I am.”
“Give me a sec.” Kyuhyun flipped open his phone, pressed a number, and held it to his ear. “It’s ring - what the hell?”
“What?” Hankyung followed Kyuhyun’s gaze out the window, and noticed red and blue flashing lights. “What the hell?” he repeated.
“I think I found Donghae…” Kyuhyun muttered, dropping his phone back in his pocket and picking up his laptop bag. He jogged out the restaurant, Hankyung trailing after him, and they sped away to the scene.
~
“I think we got them! They’ll know we’re serious now.” Donghae smiled, slinging an arm over Siwon’s shoulder with a little difficulty - Siwon just happened to be four inches taller than him.
“Donghae… What have you done…” Siwon shook his head, dropping it in his hands.
“Don’t worry, Siwon, I didn’t do anything that bad. All I happened to press was the little button that switched off the alarms in the restaurant, and turn on the sprinklers.”
“That’s all? You liar. You freaking-”
“Yes, I know, I know, I also kidnapped one of the cooks and held him captive in the storage room until they gave me money.” He lifted up his shoulders, and then dropped them like it was no big deal. “Besides, how else am I supposed to get five dollars for that new drink at Starbucks? Earn it?” He scoffed. “Psh. That’s not how I roll.”
“Hankyung is going to kill us. Besides, it’s,” glance at watch, “already one fifteen. Don’t you think we should head over to the meeting place?”
Donghae sighed. “Fine, let’s go. Just tell Hankyung that - ooh. Hankyung.” There, right in front of Donghae and Siwon, were Hankyung and Kyuhyun, arms crossed with their shades on. Donghae giggled nervously. “Hey. We were, um, just planning to head over to-”
“Too late. Kyuhyun, grab them.”
Ten minutes later, Siwon and Donghae were in ropes in the backseat of Hankyung’s sports car, driving to his apartment. “Let go of me!” Siwon yelled, stomping his feet against the car floor.
“Hey, hey, watch that. I just got it redone. Don’t ruin it.”
Siwon ignored his words, still struggling with the thick binding. “I didn’t even do anything! It was all Donghae!” Donghae glanced at him, head-to-toe, jeering.
“Way to stick together,” he hissed. “I wasn’t the one that held Yesung at gun point because he was Ryeowook’s assistant and ‘needed to pray for forgiveness.’” He attempted to make air quotes during the last part, but his hands were tied up.
“I’ll let both of you go when we get to my place. Pray that Heechul isn’t there or we’re all dead.”
Of course, though, luck obviously hating on Hankyung, Heechul happened to be home, and was now fussing over every single one of them. “Look at those marks on Siwon and Donghae! What did you two do to yourselves?” They both glared at Kyuhyun, who smirked from the soju in his hand.
“Hey, Heechul, have you forgotten who your boyfriend is?” Hankyung said. He threw an ice cube at Heechul, who glared at him.
“I will if you keep chunking all that crap at me.” Hankyung quit. “So, tell me what happened?”
“Well,” Siwon began as he rubbed an ice pack over his wrist, “yesterday night, we planned to go to the fast food place for lunch. Donghae invited me to go with him, but we saw Chef Ryeowook’s newest restaurant on the way there, and this one decided he wanted cause some damage.”
“What am I to you now, this one?!” Donghae screeched. Everyone disregarded him.
“So, he drives over there, we pull our sunglasses on and out hats lower, and go inside. No one recognizes - hell, no one even paid attention to us - and Donghae sneaks down the basement while I’m checking the menu and distracting the waiter.”
Siwon sighed, shaking his head before continuing his head. Donghae scowled at him. “Ten minutes later, the sprinklers had gone off, Donghae had stolen money from the same waiter, and-”
“And Siwon threatened to kill Yesung-”
“And we ran out of there. Then you two found us, and that’s the end of that story.”
No one spoke, but Hankyung interrupted by slamming his glass down into the sink. “What the fuck were you two thinking, pulling some stunt like that?!” he exploded, while Heechul rushed over to aide his poor dish. “This whole plan could’ve been ruined if you two dimwits had been caught!”
Donghae shrugged. “Well, we weren’t.”
Even Kyuhyun leaned forward at that. “Admit it, dude, they weren’t caught.”
Hankyung groaned and pulled at his hair, his hands slapped away by Heechul. “Fine. But if you two end up playing out one of your stupid ass ideas, I’ll make sure you regret it. Just count on it.” He pointed at both of them, glaring.
“We won’t do it again,” Siwon said, shooting daggers at Donghae. He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, we won’t do it again.”
But when Hankyung had his back turned to them, Donghae leaned towards the younger man. “Hey, I saw some guy selling fireworks down at-”
“Hell - fucking - no.”
That was the end of that.
Chapter One
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five-One
Chapter Five - Two