George Bush to prove today, Elvis is really alive and Saddam's sons really dead
Washington (AP) President Bush is expected today to make the historic announcement official: Saddam's two sons' deaths have been confirmed by the US military in Iraq, and Elvis Presley, the king of rock n' roll is alive.
Bush's speech is thought to be the result of painstaking reconnaisance work, both in Iraq, and in a small garage of a Coral Gables, Florida home. The ears and noses of both Uday and Qusay Hussein were brought to the president for official inspection Wednesday. Thereafter, they will be raised atop American flags which will tour the country, finishing up in New York City on the second anniversary of the September 11th hijackings.
"This is a great day for America, for the peace-loving, democratic people of Iraq, and for the sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, spouses, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents of those who have fought from across this land to liberate Iraq from the tyranny of a vicious dictator. . . and Elvis is alive," the President said Tuesday, to a stunned White House press corps.
Interest has quickly focused on Bush's last minute addendum to the announcement regarding the so-called king of rock n' roll. According to a White House briefing, the President learned of the fate of the king during a recent visit to Florida, where rumors had been swelling about a secret message contained on the 1989 Depeche Mode single, Personal Jesus.
"It was an unbelieveable story. The president wanted to hear it for himself, and hear it he did," said outgoing advisor Karen Hughes.
Local sources directed the President to the home of Ted Danbridge, 38, a physical education instructor at a local high school.
"We'd decided to have a yard sale, me and the wife, since it's summer" said Danbridge, "and I saw this record here and thought, what the hell, why not play it backwards! That's when I heard it--the message."
Onlookers described the President's reaction to hearing what is now known simply as 'the message' as stunned and smugly reassured.
"He smiled and turned back toward us and he looked sort of like he was thinking something," said Mary-Ellen Smith, of Coral Gables. "I think he knew it, even then, that what people been saying for years... it's really true."
The whereabouts of Elvis, missing for the past 26 years, remains a mystery, but CIA officials expressed confidence that the message contained in Personal Jesus would eventually lead to the king.
"We might've not been able to find anthrax, smallpox, sarin gas, or even an extra scud missile in Iraq, but we will not stop until Elvis has been found," declared CIA director George Tenet.
All members of Depeche Mode have thus far declined comment.
The White House is expected to present both Saddam's son's ears, as well as the Personal Jesus single at this afternoon's press briefing.
Bush's speech is thought to be the result of painstaking reconnaisance work, both in Iraq, and in a small garage of a Coral Gables, Florida home. The ears and noses of both Uday and Qusay Hussein were brought to the president for official inspection Wednesday. Thereafter, they will be raised atop American flags which will tour the country, finishing up in New York City on the second anniversary of the September 11th hijackings.
"This is a great day for America, for the peace-loving, democratic people of Iraq, and for the sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, spouses, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents of those who have fought from across this land to liberate Iraq from the tyranny of a vicious dictator. . . and Elvis is alive," the President said Tuesday, to a stunned White House press corps.
Interest has quickly focused on Bush's last minute addendum to the announcement regarding the so-called king of rock n' roll. According to a White House briefing, the President learned of the fate of the king during a recent visit to Florida, where rumors had been swelling about a secret message contained on the 1989 Depeche Mode single, Personal Jesus.
"It was an unbelieveable story. The president wanted to hear it for himself, and hear it he did," said outgoing advisor Karen Hughes.
Local sources directed the President to the home of Ted Danbridge, 38, a physical education instructor at a local high school.
"We'd decided to have a yard sale, me and the wife, since it's summer" said Danbridge, "and I saw this record here and thought, what the hell, why not play it backwards! That's when I heard it--the message."
Onlookers described the President's reaction to hearing what is now known simply as 'the message' as stunned and smugly reassured.
"He smiled and turned back toward us and he looked sort of like he was thinking something," said Mary-Ellen Smith, of Coral Gables. "I think he knew it, even then, that what people been saying for years... it's really true."
The whereabouts of Elvis, missing for the past 26 years, remains a mystery, but CIA officials expressed confidence that the message contained in Personal Jesus would eventually lead to the king.
"We might've not been able to find anthrax, smallpox, sarin gas, or even an extra scud missile in Iraq, but we will not stop until Elvis has been found," declared CIA director George Tenet.
All members of Depeche Mode have thus far declined comment.
The White House is expected to present both Saddam's son's ears, as well as the Personal Jesus single at this afternoon's press briefing.