An Exploration Of Sam
Not even two months into this fangirl insanity, yet one thing I've been reasonably sure of is that the tug of attraction I've felt from the beginning was towards Dean/Jensen. It wasn't until Season 3 that I noticed that Sam/Jared had grown up. Man, had he ever. After that, even though my primary attraction was (and will always be) with Dean, I began noticing Mr. Padalecki in ways I hadn't previously. Who can ever explain these things? And why do I continue to try?
It's the psychologist in me. But knowing it doesn't make it any clearer why.
That's why it's so strange (to me) that I've only ever dreamed about Jared.
I mean, I really wish I'd have a dream, just once, about Jensen Fucking Ackles.
But hey---I'm a tall girl. So being 5'11, JP's extreme height and long legs just kill me, no doubt about it. I just don't think he's the better actor. He's the better improviser, the more open interviewee, I think he's much more comfortable in his skin than Jensen is, which is confident and sexy...but his acting...oy vey. He really goes overboard with the whole scrunchy-face with the trembling lip thing, over and over again...like for TWO WHOLE SEASONS...! And finally, you get to Soulless Sam, and it's such a relief. For all of, like, however many eps until he gets his soul back, and then...well. It's never as bad as it was when he was making demons fly out of people with his mind, but still. It can get pretty bad.
However, I've been re-watching old episodes of Supernatural. In no pattern. One leads to the next, which leads to a memory of a different scenario in a different season, etc, so I'll watch that one, which may or may not compel me to watch the next episode to find resolution for the terrible dilemma our boys find themselves in (soooo many fucking cliffhangers!) And there are several for which I award Jensen Ackles the Golden Impala for Best Actor With The Script You Got...but it was difficult...!...difficult!...to find an equal number in which I thought Jared Padalecki matched talent with JA. Made me sad. I love Sam, and I love Jared, but Mr. Ackles paints with a deeper palette, period. But I will persevere, and I will find good, even great performances by Jared, because they have to be there. Just probably in Seasons 1 through 3, 6 and 7.
I'm going to give out my special Golden Impala awards for Acting for the first seven seasons, and that's how I'll justify fangirlyness this week and maybe the next.
It's interesting that in my favorite fics, I generally like Dean to top, and so it works out that I'm usually either a) reading from Sam's POV of what it's like to get fucked by Dean, or b) reading from Dean's POV what it's like to fuck Sam. But lately, I've encountered this huge stash of works in which Dean just isn't the top...sorry, darling. They're well-written, hot stuff, but...you gotta go where the writing takes you, and I have. So I've been in Sam's head (and Dean's body) a whole 'nother way than what I thought was my thing. And it turns out, my "thing" can and most likely WILL expand over time.
"Things" apparently evolve. Which probably explains my dreams...
I hear we kept our President. Boneless with relief and wine. Seriously pissed that the popular vote didn't go his way. Fucking tea party asshats. Never hear the end of it. Which journal is this? #iforgotwhereiwas #pinotgrigiomistakes #politicsorwincest
It's the psychologist in me. But knowing it doesn't make it any clearer why.
That's why it's so strange (to me) that I've only ever dreamed about Jared.
I mean, I really wish I'd have a dream, just once, about Jensen Fucking Ackles.
But hey---I'm a tall girl. So being 5'11, JP's extreme height and long legs just kill me, no doubt about it. I just don't think he's the better actor. He's the better improviser, the more open interviewee, I think he's much more comfortable in his skin than Jensen is, which is confident and sexy...but his acting...oy vey. He really goes overboard with the whole scrunchy-face with the trembling lip thing, over and over again...like for TWO WHOLE SEASONS...! And finally, you get to Soulless Sam, and it's such a relief. For all of, like, however many eps until he gets his soul back, and then...well. It's never as bad as it was when he was making demons fly out of people with his mind, but still. It can get pretty bad.
However, I've been re-watching old episodes of Supernatural. In no pattern. One leads to the next, which leads to a memory of a different scenario in a different season, etc, so I'll watch that one, which may or may not compel me to watch the next episode to find resolution for the terrible dilemma our boys find themselves in (soooo many fucking cliffhangers!) And there are several for which I award Jensen Ackles the Golden Impala for Best Actor With The Script You Got...but it was difficult...!...difficult!...to find an equal number in which I thought Jared Padalecki matched talent with JA. Made me sad. I love Sam, and I love Jared, but Mr. Ackles paints with a deeper palette, period. But I will persevere, and I will find good, even great performances by Jared, because they have to be there. Just probably in Seasons 1 through 3, 6 and 7.
I'm going to give out my special Golden Impala awards for Acting for the first seven seasons, and that's how I'll justify fangirlyness this week and maybe the next.
It's interesting that in my favorite fics, I generally like Dean to top, and so it works out that I'm usually either a) reading from Sam's POV of what it's like to get fucked by Dean, or b) reading from Dean's POV what it's like to fuck Sam. But lately, I've encountered this huge stash of works in which Dean just isn't the top...sorry, darling. They're well-written, hot stuff, but...you gotta go where the writing takes you, and I have. So I've been in Sam's head (and Dean's body) a whole 'nother way than what I thought was my thing. And it turns out, my "thing" can and most likely WILL expand over time.
"Things" apparently evolve. Which probably explains my dreams...
I hear we kept our President. Boneless with relief and wine. Seriously pissed that the popular vote didn't go his way. Fucking tea party asshats. Never hear the end of it. Which journal is this? #iforgotwhereiwas #pinotgrigiomistakes #politicsorwincest