so yeah.
I just basically feel like I've lost all of my friends. How am I supposed to get used to this? I've lost my friends to the tide of new things drowning my life. I've lost all the fun I had last summer, the funnest. I've become that type of person who abandons her friends for her boyfriend, and all cause... I'm just so damn weak minded. There's a big gap there between me and Gabi, between me and Lauren... and Daisy, Ricky, and Mari? It's like we don't even exist to eachother any more. It's all so distant. Even though I had my life revolving around useless people [;et
s specify- Jazz] last year, it seemed more perfect, because I actually had friends. Now I let my life revolve around the things I should do that would benefit me, and I've lost it all completely. It's just so hard balancing all of these things together. I really hate this, and I don't need some dumb kid coming into my life and making himself the victim in all situations cause that just leads me to believe I AM the one that's to blame. And I am.
all I have left is basically memories, and a thin line left of some strong ass friendships. I have Christy, but I've scared her off cause she's so absorbed in her breakup with Luis, and I get angry at her for being so weak, when I should be getting angry at myself for being the weakest ever. Maybe I'll just let this new job take control so I won't have to think about anything else, like stupid boyfriends, or old crushes, or friends. I just can't stand it, and sometimes... I won't even wish that.
I used to read in books about how difficult being a teenager would be, but I never thought it would be THIS Hard. I never thought everything around me would be such a damn blur of sadness and hapiness. Of fake smiles, and genuine tears. It sucks.
and I miss being able to talk to 4 girls about it.
s specify- Jazz] last year, it seemed more perfect, because I actually had friends. Now I let my life revolve around the things I should do that would benefit me, and I've lost it all completely. It's just so hard balancing all of these things together. I really hate this, and I don't need some dumb kid coming into my life and making himself the victim in all situations cause that just leads me to believe I AM the one that's to blame. And I am.
all I have left is basically memories, and a thin line left of some strong ass friendships. I have Christy, but I've scared her off cause she's so absorbed in her breakup with Luis, and I get angry at her for being so weak, when I should be getting angry at myself for being the weakest ever. Maybe I'll just let this new job take control so I won't have to think about anything else, like stupid boyfriends, or old crushes, or friends. I just can't stand it, and sometimes... I won't even wish that.
I used to read in books about how difficult being a teenager would be, but I never thought it would be THIS Hard. I never thought everything around me would be such a damn blur of sadness and hapiness. Of fake smiles, and genuine tears. It sucks.
and I miss being able to talk to 4 girls about it.