Move Over, Ebert and Roeper

Nov 21, 2004 02:15

Another spectacular Saturday in the books... Won't go into details since that right is reserved for the self-proclaimed "weekend wrapup" tomorrow (today?)... But I have a couple of knick-knack things to go over...

*As just an epilogue to last night's post about the big NBA brawl, Wallace, Jackson, O'Neal, and Artest are all "suspended indefinitely". That's huge if they didn't even put a number of games to it, just saying "You're suspended until we say so." ... It's like getting grounded and not knowing for how long. But they all got what was coming to them. As a result of losing 3 players to suspension, the Pacers were forced to play with only 6 players on the roster.

*Some people just know how to make your night...:

ibanez angel14: Just read that entry about you turning down that girl
Bobbo946: heh. oh yeah?
ibanez angel14: You got guts, man.
ibanez angel14: If I was put in that situation with a guy, I probably would've accepted.
Bobbo946: Well, that's the difference between us
ibanez angel14: You stated you wouldn't accept one, and you stand by it.
ibanez angel14: You're the man
ibanez angel14: Not one of those stuffed shirt, big ego, hypocritical, moral-trashing, say-one-thing-do-another-type dicks
ibanez angel14: That's what I love about you
ibanez angel14: Know what else I love about you?
Bobbo946: Be careful how much you compliment me otherwise I will get that big ego.
ibanez angel14: You're non-conformist, you're quick-witted, intelligent, articulate, have one of the best senses of humor anyone could have...
ibanez angel14: You play 6 instruments! That alone puts you on a different plane of existance
ibanez angel14: You are never a dooschbag to anyone (unless they're really asking for it). And even if you are, we all know you're just joking about it.
ibanez angel14: There's just no one I know who dislikes you.
ibanez angel14: You seem to have a musical lyric for EVERYTHING! It's like when you go swimming or whatever, you'll pull a lyric about swimming out of your ass.
Bobbo946: Psht. There are a lot of songs about water.
ibanez angel14: But the thing I admire, respect, and love you for; You seem to take life with a grain of salt...
ibanez angel14: Things do end up getting you down, but you never seem to be depressed or angered for more than a span of a day...
ibanez angel14: You don't dwell on it that long consecutively. You don't let anything control your emotions for very long.
ibanez angel14: And when you are feeling like this, you're not afraid to let everyone know about it. Thus your weblog.
ibanez angel14: Oh, and contrary to what you think, you are CUTE too! <3 ;)
ibanez angel14: There are hundreds more reasons why I love you, but I'll spare you the complimentary before your head gets too big
ibanez angel14: And trust me, you'll see this list again from a girl who'll steal your heart away. And when she's done telling you this, she'll say...
ibanez angel14: "Do me, you CUTE NON-COMFORMIST MUSICIAN!"
ibanez angel14: Well, what do you say to that? ;)
Bobbo946: It's been a long time since I've been rendered speechless

*"Purdue has just redefined 'rape'..."
~Neal on my voicemail after a complete utter thrashing of UI, 63-24

*I heart the snow. I don't heart driving home from Ryan's in snow.

--Gather round, children.. It's

I'm taking over Ebert and Roeper's stupid syndicate and reviewing 2 movies I saw today.

Let's start with the second of the day (to save the better of the two for the last)

-The Incredibles-

Went to the late show at Jax Jr. with Holly, Pete, Joe, and Ryan to watch the newest Pixar flick. Pixar has never really disappointed in the past, so it should be good.
Loose description: Super heros are forced into retirement. The movie documents one such super hero, Mr. Incredible, leading a mundane lifestyle as an insurance goon. One day, he gets a call about a "job" that would enable him to get back into the super hero business. Only to find that it was a trap by his new nemesis. Through an elaborate scheme, he sends a robot to destroy the city where he would end up saving the city and becoming the new super hero in town. When things go to hell, Mr Incredible and his family escape from the island on which they're imprisoned and save the city.
Impression: I thought it was a pretty good movie, with the needling hovering around great. As far as animation goes, excellent. It looked similar to their other 3D movies, but some effects get better and better. Example: When Ellen (aka: "Elastigirl") and her kids are in the water, the animation on the hair is excellent, watching the water bead off and such. Another good animation moment was Dash's running scene through the jungle. This kid had the power to run uber-fast, so the animation was extremely quick. Holly and I compared it to the speeder scene on "Return of the Jedi". --- Something that just ruined one part of the movie for me was Violet, the daughter. The only reason it "ruined" her for me was because the first scene she was in, she looked exactly like Bopha's sister, Paula... I wouldn't have noticed it if Holly didn't say anything. From then on, there was no Violet in that movie, it was a 3D version goth-punk Bopha's sister Paula... --- Jason Lee was a voice talent in this movie. I give Pixar an A+ for that casting role. I actually didn't notice it at first (I would've picked it up later) until Joe said "That's that guy from Mallrats!". When I realized that it was, he was voicing the character of a supreme fanboy of Mr. Incredible. I saw this and was like "Man, Jason Lee could've been better suited as the bad guy for this... ". And when the same character ended up the bad guy (Syndrome), I once again applauded the casting director of the movie... Jason Lee is the fucking man. --- Mirage was anorexic. How else can explain that an animated twig was wider than her? I bet you could break her like a rice cake.

the Verdict: Enjoyable, comical, good animation. I like it.

Should you, the reader, see it?: I recommend it.

How much is it worth?: I fortunately got in for free, but I would've gladly handed up to $7.50 to see it

Was it better than The Village?: By leaps and bounds.

-----

-Battle Royale-

There can't be enough words to describe the awesomeness of this movie. It's a foreign japanese movie, so it's all in english subtitles (which could hinder it in style points, but whatever). Apparently, it's also an illegal movie. Joe got a bootleg copy when he went to New York. Good thing he did.
Loose description: Basically, a random class of 9th graders are sent to an island. As a goal to set an example to the young generation worldwide about respecting their elders, this randomly selected 9th grade class must kill each other until there is only one member left alive. It's extremely elaborately set up so the kids must obey. If a winner doesn't come forward after 3 days, everyone dies. The first 20-30 minutes are all about the setup, the rest of the hour and half is all about the killing.
Impression: Holy shit. I love this movie. Just the plot grabs your attention by kicking you square in the junk. -- It's tough with it being in Japanese. Names are hard to remember, characters are hard to tell apart, and you spend the entire movie reading subtitles. You get used to it thought -- The "training video" that the students are shown = Hilarious. -- The first death is fucking... awesome... While watching said video, the teacher catches one of the girls whispering, yells "NO WHISPERING", and chucks a knife square into her forehead. That'll grab your attention. -- One of the girls (god I wish I could remember her name) had to be the hottest, cutest Jap ever. Not only that, but she was an assassin. I think she killed either the second or third most (before getting axed herself). Whenever they showed a scene with her, Joe and I had to remind everyone how hot she was. -- There are 3 EXCELLENT, AWESOME scenes that I'll reiterate... -- The "scary exchange student" follows one kid to one of the houses on the island. The exchange kid's weapon of choice is an uzzi, but he apparently has a sword as well. After the kid he was chasing after reveals a bullet proof vest that detained all the bullets that scary exchange student shot in him, he thought he had one. In one of the coolest action shots in film history, Scary Exchange Student stands on the roof and slowly unsheaths the sword, jumps down, and beheads him. The scene's awesomeness only begins.. Scary Exchange Student then notices that 3 students are in the house. In a scene that cannot be described and live up to the hype, Scary Exchange Student hurls the head of the student he just hacked into the house with a grenade in his mouth. ... Use your imagination... -- Next best scene.. "The Lighthouse Scene".. basically, a lighthouse with 6 girls in it. After one of the girls dies from poison, one of the girls flips out, grabs an automatic off the table, gets the third degree... and in a huge gorey mess, all 6 girls are toast. Check please. -- Joe and Pete will atest that the Lighthouse Scene is the best in the movie, but I'll go a different route. Best scene in the movie, what I call the "Bat out of Hell" scene. After a killing 3 more n00bs, Scary Exchange Student causes a HUGE explosion that sets the entire house and field on fire. It looks like a vision right out of hell. When Kadawa, Nikiro (ONLY 2 names I remember) and the main-character asian dude show up to the burning fields.. picture this... Scary Exchange Student walking out of the fire, uzzi in hand, looking just like a demon from Hell. He had been blinded at that so the clouds in his eyes as well as the blood on his face only added to this image. Kadawa was fully equipped with a beauty of a 12-guage shotgun... So it was a showdown... Kadawe vs. Scary Exchange Student... Awesome fire fight ensues with Scary Exchange Student giving one of the most evil faces I have EVER seen as he shoots. Kadawe wins the showdown as a shotgun blast blows Scary Exchange Student's head into smitherenes in a flash of (fake) blood. SO awesome. -- The ending to this movie sucked ass though. Just like "The Return of the King", it had so many spots where it could've (read: should've) ended. Also, when the teacher gets pumped full of lead... lies on the ground for a couple seconds, here's the phone ring... gets up like nothing, answers it, tells his daughter he won't be coming home, hangs up, throws the phone, shoots it, leans back, breathes a sigh of desperation, eats a cookie, says "Mmm.. good cookie. That's the last one".. and THEN dies.. Horrible.

the Verdict: I can already say that this is by far and large one of the best movies I've ever seen. Restructured Top 5 to include this movie will be coming soon.

Should you, the reader, see it?: If you want to read subtitles and watch a gorey, gruesome, gun blazing, insane, independent film, go for it. I HIGHLY recommend you watch it nonetheless.

How much is it worth?: I wouldn't have a problem paying up to $20 to see this movie, honestly. THAT good.

Was it better than The Village?: It's movies like these that make me wonder why shit-ass fucked up shit like The Village is doing getting all the rave reviews and publicity. Battle Royale OWNZ The Village and anything M. Night Shyamalan has created or ever will create.

*the end

basketball, aim, bijolly, neal, pete, movies, jp, ana, hollis

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