(no subject)
You can catch up with yourself, if you ruuuuun..
and I can't tell if you're laughing, between each smile there's a tear in your eye. There's a train leaving town in an hour.It's not waiting for you, and neither am I
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So, I just needed to blog before I go to bed tonight...lots of stuff going on..stressing me.As far as Crystal is concerned, she seems to be gaining lots of weight and isn't as lethargic. Her grooming habits aren't what they used to be and she still misses certain jumps that she used to make easily. So, I'm thinking she definitely got Arthritis as far as the agility goes. When I finally get me a good massage job, get some money coming in..I'm going to take her to the vet..and start taking her twice a year for check ups and such. I'll get her some really good food, some kitty vitamins, and some of that spray stuff that goes in her food/water for arthritis. I love my kitty and want to keep her alive as long as possible, and I want to make sure that when she goes, she's at least still herself and just goes peacefully a few years or more down the line.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
School
School is going ok, finally done with practicum. Don't get me wrong, there's an aspect of practicum I liked..but at the same time I'm extremely glad I no longer have to deal with it.I'm supposed to graduate the 3rd, if I can get the money I owe them on time (476 dollars. For some stupid fucking reason, them being a 'technical school' and only providing 9 months of school means that the government doesn't pay for some ridiculous bullshit monthly fees). Don't know if it's going to happen or not. I'd like to fucking graduate with my classmates and have an actual ceremony -.-
My state boards test (NCBTMB) is also coming up. I'm not nervous, or intimidated, but I do show a small concern over it. I just hope I pass. I keep on believing I'll pass, just because I'm a believer in the power of positive thought. Negative thoughts can often bring negative consequences. The only thing about my boards..they fucking scheduled me for 8AM..TF IS THAT SHIT?!? Who in the HOLY HELL gets up at 8AM? I'll tell ya who, fucking commies that's who. I kid of course (which you should know if ya know me that well, I mention "commies" when I'm kidding), but damn dude..what a bunch of horse shit. The rest of my class (aside from Ann, Alex, and Rachael), get to take it at 11AM. Why the fuck didn't those a-holes schedule all of us for 11AM? ugh. It's alright, I wont stress too much over it..I'll just get it over with..get my license..and never worry about it again.
I need to get my business project on the way and finished soon too, it's due Oct 1st. I'm pretty sure I can get it all finished this week, so no worries..it's just gonna be hard. This is going to be based on my real-life business idea too for "The House of Asclepius".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The State of the World and it's Future Existence:
I worked really hard convincing myself of this ( and I can tell that side of me that holds obsessive thoughts is still not convinced..but I've won the majority of my brain over), but THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO END, at least not anytime soon.When I heard about the LHC, I had an extremely morbid panic attack session that lasted for a while. The fucked up thing is, I used to be excited about it. I'm now back to not panicking (even though there's that part of my brain that I'm still trying to beat into submission), and thinking pleasant thoughts of the occasion.
I also never had any fear over the 2012 fear-mongering either, and I never will.It's a shame that as educated as I am on physics..I could let some a-hole's thoughts infiltrate my brain.
So many doomsayers have popped up over the years, and with the probability of the Earth ending, miss mother Earth has still defied all odds and survived all the "end is near" cries.
Truth is, I'm sure Mother Earth wont die until she's ready to, and we wont be eradicated unless she thinks we deserve it. She knows that there are "chosen ones" still left on this planet, that will attempt to save humanity, and her. I get the feeling that the only way she'll hit the "end of humanity" switch, is if those chosen ones are unable to do anything.Either way, the world isn't going to end, and everything is going to be fine.
In fact..I'm going to jump on the coat tails of Stephen Hawking..I'm going to place a 100 dollar bet that they WILL not find the Higgs, anyone want to take me up on the bet? The only condition is that I can't pay until after I get a good massage job, sometime in Nov probably. However, if you know me..you know I'm honest and you'll get your money. So yeah, there the bet is..laying open on the table, let me know if you want to take it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm starting to get restless too.
I need to get out of the house and go to the park or somewhere.
I've been getting this hardcore craving for teaching myself how to free run/parkour. It just looks so awesome, and like so much fun. Just to run somewhere, anywhere, and to leap and bound off of and onto things..sounds like a good time to me.
I'm missing Capoeira too, and it's a sad state of affairs that our tribe, our family, our little Capoeira group lies in ruin, in absolute shambles, because of all the bullshit that went on. It went from our Capoeira tribe, to something that has nothing to do with the movement of Capoeira at all...and it breaks my heart and pisses me off.
I also want to get this hide n seek thing off the ground.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me and Brittney, we're falling more and more in love each day I think..but that doesn't save us from other things. Her mom is pushing this boy on her..that used to date her friend Ashley until he broke up with her to try and date Brittney >.< Britt says he's sweet to her, but has also told me he's sweet in that way that gives off the vibes of him wanting something. Her mom is all "Oh he's a nice boy and cute..blah blah blah". I can only fight the distance so long. I don't feel threatened really by HIM but I do get terrified of ever losing her. I misunderstood her tonight, thinking that she was considering us going our seperate ways, her saying she just wants someone to cuddle with and everything. When she said the opening statement that started it all, my heart jumped. Then as she went on, it was like my insides were being ripped apart. Then I said something that made her realize what she was saying was making me feel, and what it was sounding like to me. She told me it made her own heart sink and tried to clarify what she was saying. I'm just glad she wasn't thinking/feeling/saying what I thought she was. I couldn't imagine a life without her, and I honestly believe that this is who I've been asking for. If it wasn't for her, my life would suck a lot more. She breathed the breath of life into me, when I felt nothing but dead inside. She gave me a new reason to live. She's the person in this world that makes it all so clear, she gives me hope and fills my life with such incredible joy. She's just like me..with just enough differences to make it exciting, yet the differences are subtle enough to makes us fit perfectly..like a puzzle. I'd wait my whole life for her, because I know there's no one else that works as good for me as she does. I'd hope that I'm "The One" for her too.
I just hope she can wait for me til Nov/Dec-ish, that's all the time I require. I also hope I'm not a disappointment to her, I hope she likes who I am (even though..I've never been anyone else but myself with her..there are subtle differences in person), and I hope that I am enough for her. I hope she decides it's all worth it, and that this is what she wants..that I'm what she wants.
I just want her to be happy, it's true..but I hope what makes her happy..is being with me.
I love her, more than I realized I could love anyone..more than even my "wise-beyond-my years" mind can even comprehend.
Our relationship has barely even started, and yet it's been a poetic and epic journey into our minds, hearts, and souls. I've felt her with my spirit, because she is part of my spirit..the I is a we, entangled within each other. A life without her seems unliveable, because I started this new life when I met her and it will end if I lose her, and I may go on physically living, but no longer would my spirit survive..because half a spirit cannot be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's all for now, I need to go to bed.I love all of you, goodnight <3
and I can't tell if you're laughing, between each smile there's a tear in your eye. There's a train leaving town in an hour.It's not waiting for you, and neither am I
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, I just needed to blog before I go to bed tonight...lots of stuff going on..stressing me.As far as Crystal is concerned, she seems to be gaining lots of weight and isn't as lethargic. Her grooming habits aren't what they used to be and she still misses certain jumps that she used to make easily. So, I'm thinking she definitely got Arthritis as far as the agility goes. When I finally get me a good massage job, get some money coming in..I'm going to take her to the vet..and start taking her twice a year for check ups and such. I'll get her some really good food, some kitty vitamins, and some of that spray stuff that goes in her food/water for arthritis. I love my kitty and want to keep her alive as long as possible, and I want to make sure that when she goes, she's at least still herself and just goes peacefully a few years or more down the line.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
School
School is going ok, finally done with practicum. Don't get me wrong, there's an aspect of practicum I liked..but at the same time I'm extremely glad I no longer have to deal with it.I'm supposed to graduate the 3rd, if I can get the money I owe them on time (476 dollars. For some stupid fucking reason, them being a 'technical school' and only providing 9 months of school means that the government doesn't pay for some ridiculous bullshit monthly fees). Don't know if it's going to happen or not. I'd like to fucking graduate with my classmates and have an actual ceremony -.-
My state boards test (NCBTMB) is also coming up. I'm not nervous, or intimidated, but I do show a small concern over it. I just hope I pass. I keep on believing I'll pass, just because I'm a believer in the power of positive thought. Negative thoughts can often bring negative consequences. The only thing about my boards..they fucking scheduled me for 8AM..TF IS THAT SHIT?!? Who in the HOLY HELL gets up at 8AM? I'll tell ya who, fucking commies that's who. I kid of course (which you should know if ya know me that well, I mention "commies" when I'm kidding), but damn dude..what a bunch of horse shit. The rest of my class (aside from Ann, Alex, and Rachael), get to take it at 11AM. Why the fuck didn't those a-holes schedule all of us for 11AM? ugh. It's alright, I wont stress too much over it..I'll just get it over with..get my license..and never worry about it again.
I need to get my business project on the way and finished soon too, it's due Oct 1st. I'm pretty sure I can get it all finished this week, so no worries..it's just gonna be hard. This is going to be based on my real-life business idea too for "The House of Asclepius".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The State of the World and it's Future Existence:
I worked really hard convincing myself of this ( and I can tell that side of me that holds obsessive thoughts is still not convinced..but I've won the majority of my brain over), but THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO END, at least not anytime soon.When I heard about the LHC, I had an extremely morbid panic attack session that lasted for a while. The fucked up thing is, I used to be excited about it. I'm now back to not panicking (even though there's that part of my brain that I'm still trying to beat into submission), and thinking pleasant thoughts of the occasion.
I also never had any fear over the 2012 fear-mongering either, and I never will.It's a shame that as educated as I am on physics..I could let some a-hole's thoughts infiltrate my brain.
So many doomsayers have popped up over the years, and with the probability of the Earth ending, miss mother Earth has still defied all odds and survived all the "end is near" cries.
Truth is, I'm sure Mother Earth wont die until she's ready to, and we wont be eradicated unless she thinks we deserve it. She knows that there are "chosen ones" still left on this planet, that will attempt to save humanity, and her. I get the feeling that the only way she'll hit the "end of humanity" switch, is if those chosen ones are unable to do anything.Either way, the world isn't going to end, and everything is going to be fine.
In fact..I'm going to jump on the coat tails of Stephen Hawking..I'm going to place a 100 dollar bet that they WILL not find the Higgs, anyone want to take me up on the bet? The only condition is that I can't pay until after I get a good massage job, sometime in Nov probably. However, if you know me..you know I'm honest and you'll get your money. So yeah, there the bet is..laying open on the table, let me know if you want to take it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm starting to get restless too.
I need to get out of the house and go to the park or somewhere.
I've been getting this hardcore craving for teaching myself how to free run/parkour. It just looks so awesome, and like so much fun. Just to run somewhere, anywhere, and to leap and bound off of and onto things..sounds like a good time to me.
I'm missing Capoeira too, and it's a sad state of affairs that our tribe, our family, our little Capoeira group lies in ruin, in absolute shambles, because of all the bullshit that went on. It went from our Capoeira tribe, to something that has nothing to do with the movement of Capoeira at all...and it breaks my heart and pisses me off.
I also want to get this hide n seek thing off the ground.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me and Brittney, we're falling more and more in love each day I think..but that doesn't save us from other things. Her mom is pushing this boy on her..that used to date her friend Ashley until he broke up with her to try and date Brittney >.< Britt says he's sweet to her, but has also told me he's sweet in that way that gives off the vibes of him wanting something. Her mom is all "Oh he's a nice boy and cute..blah blah blah". I can only fight the distance so long. I don't feel threatened really by HIM but I do get terrified of ever losing her. I misunderstood her tonight, thinking that she was considering us going our seperate ways, her saying she just wants someone to cuddle with and everything. When she said the opening statement that started it all, my heart jumped. Then as she went on, it was like my insides were being ripped apart. Then I said something that made her realize what she was saying was making me feel, and what it was sounding like to me. She told me it made her own heart sink and tried to clarify what she was saying. I'm just glad she wasn't thinking/feeling/saying what I thought she was. I couldn't imagine a life without her, and I honestly believe that this is who I've been asking for. If it wasn't for her, my life would suck a lot more. She breathed the breath of life into me, when I felt nothing but dead inside. She gave me a new reason to live. She's the person in this world that makes it all so clear, she gives me hope and fills my life with such incredible joy. She's just like me..with just enough differences to make it exciting, yet the differences are subtle enough to makes us fit perfectly..like a puzzle. I'd wait my whole life for her, because I know there's no one else that works as good for me as she does. I'd hope that I'm "The One" for her too.
I just hope she can wait for me til Nov/Dec-ish, that's all the time I require. I also hope I'm not a disappointment to her, I hope she likes who I am (even though..I've never been anyone else but myself with her..there are subtle differences in person), and I hope that I am enough for her. I hope she decides it's all worth it, and that this is what she wants..that I'm what she wants.
I just want her to be happy, it's true..but I hope what makes her happy..is being with me.
I love her, more than I realized I could love anyone..more than even my "wise-beyond-my years" mind can even comprehend.
Our relationship has barely even started, and yet it's been a poetic and epic journey into our minds, hearts, and souls. I've felt her with my spirit, because she is part of my spirit..the I is a we, entangled within each other. A life without her seems unliveable, because I started this new life when I met her and it will end if I lose her, and I may go on physically living, but no longer would my spirit survive..because half a spirit cannot be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's all for now, I need to go to bed.I love all of you, goodnight <3